Questionmark12 Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 (edited) For the people that haven't read my story: i basically went to the most brutal break-up I have ever went through. In short: He first said he thought he was gay/bisexual and had to explore and therefore break up with me Came out to all his family and parents as bisexual/gay Later explained that the actually was drawn to transsexual porn and had to go to a prostitute for it After some prostitutes realized he was not gay/bisexual and also informed his parents and family Started smoking weed daily multiple times - not realizing what he was saying/doing (also illegal where we're from) Realized he actually has a porn addiction '(hence the T-fetish) Did not want to meet up to give me my clothes back because he did not want to officially "close" us Explained how much he was struggling to let me and us go I last week told him I wanted to block him and close the door - he for some reason started purposefully hurting me and saying how my chronic illness was the reason why he broke up with me besides his addiction issues. But he put my chronic illness on the first place. My bff reached out to him after she heard about this because she was mad and saw how hurt I was about this (with my consent) and explained how f***ed up it was that the used my illness as reason why we broke up He unblocked me - tried to call me He sent me an email the day after "apologizing" for his behaviour and he only realized how hard he hurt me after my bff confronted him with it (I counted how many times he used "I" and it most have been close to 15 times) Now my question - his sister still follows me on instagram and checks my Instagram stories. I still have his mother on whatsapp and his parents actually send me a christmas card as well although we have been broken up since october (!).Before the holidays she actually send me a message saying how much the family misses me etc. My friends have been telling they most likely are holding on to me and kind of hoping we still get back together (there is no chance lol). They know he has some serious issues and when we were together his mum was so happy for us as she also saw how happy her son was as he was more stable, quit smoking etc. We also got a long very well. My birthday is coming up and I don't want another reminder that day of his parents sending me a card or whatever but I also don't want to be rude and just block them with no explanation. How do I best approach this? Edited January 16, 2020 by Questionmark12 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Put a message up explaining that you were going to block everyone associated with him so that you can more easily move on and not be upset all the time and then block them all from seeing your social media and being able to contact you. There's nothing wrong with that. It would be very awkward to remain friends with someone in his family or close friend of his. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted January 16, 2020 Share Posted January 16, 2020 Preraph nailed it. Message them and let them know you're trying to move forward and from here on out you're blocking them but wish them well. It is too hard to move on when you have constant reminders or you're worried about constant reminders coming in the mail. You're entitled to move on happily, and without strings. You deserve that much respect after all he has done and put you through. He sounds unstable and as much as his parents and family may like you, it is awkward to continue having anything to do with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 You need to block them. Write them a short message first if you wish explaining there are no hard feelings but you need time and space to heal. If they're decent people, they will understand and respect that. This dude is a disaster, and the sooner you cleanse all reminders of him from your life, the sooner you will move on to someone with whom you can have a happy future. It's never going to happen with this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Questionmark12 Posted January 17, 2020 Author Share Posted January 17, 2020 Thank you everyone! I send them a small message explaining that I will be blocking them and that it's nothing personal but that I need time and space to heal which can only happen if I cut all connections to him. I thanked them and wished them the best. So far, no response! Ohwell, I'm done with him and this messy situation. On to the next Link to post Share on other sites
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