MsJayne Posted January 16, 2020 Posted January 16, 2020 My standard reply to any man who starts banging on about his ex is, "You chose her". 2
DKT3 Posted January 16, 2020 Posted January 16, 2020 (edited) My perspective as a man, I would much rather deal with a woman my age who is struggling to get over an ex then a sub 30 year old. Not to mention one in her early to mid 20's. Even the brightest of them is hard to handle even in a purely sexual way, you still have to talk to them...and in general, women that age are much smarter and emotionally developed then men that age Edited January 16, 2020 by DKT3
Author hotpotato Posted January 16, 2020 Author Posted January 16, 2020 1 hour ago, preraph said: You may be one of those women that people will just tell anything to. I am. I did have male friends, some of whom I crushed on, one of whom I loved, and eventually they would spill their guts. But it wasn't about "the one." It was about someone they were so attracted to that they were miserable who didn't want them back. Of course, also knew quite a few women like that, myself included. These same guys would sometimes trot me out to try to make the woman jealous, too. One time, one guy I was in love with and one really good looking guy I was friends with both were obsessed with the same barmaid. It went on for probably a year and a half or two years I had to hear about that. One time one of them took me to where she worked (where we all often hung out anyway), and the other one was in there too. They both knew about the other. We all ended up sitting together, because I was the common denominator. I just have this memory of her coming to the table and she looked me right in the eyes and smiled, and I knew she knew I knew what was going on and probably knew my relation to both of them. It wasn't long after that it all quieted down and they moved on or had closure or whatever. Then I moved on and met someone I fell for, and the one who I had been in love with prior, I was still friends with, and he got obsessed with another woman, and it got even worse, and he actually did end up on my floor crying, and it was only when he got little reaction from me that he began to understand what he had put me through. He moved out of state shortly after that. And the really good looking one, he ended up knocking up and marrying the second wife of the guy I said I met above that I fell for, who I was now working with after we had broken up. Talk about baggage. All very incestuous! I can agree with that. I've had other people overshare with me. 1
Author hotpotato Posted January 16, 2020 Author Posted January 16, 2020 2 hours ago, chillii said: Well for a start , a fwb at 22 , at your age whatever that is , is only heading you for more bs of your own which you will have plenty of but just don't realize it, most don't.. Like what kind? I'm curious.
fromheart Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, stillafool said: Yeah, I know a 35 year old man who continues to whine about his baby momma problems and his 4 kids. Good grief how boring he is to listen to. The young ones don't have that baggage yet. Hence why they are so appealing to many. Perhaps if you weren't so hard hearted, you'd have found someone by now. He's going on about his ex because he's not that into you I'm afraid. When I was a young man, I'd only date young women. We're not interested in old auntie slavering over us. It's gross. Now, I only date young women. We like women in their childbirth years, who are looking after themselves and don't sleep around like they are stuck in a depraved, pornographic fantasy. And have a bit of empathy for other human beings. Such women are usually married by 30. Edited January 17, 2020 by fromheart 1
Timshel Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 Older men have so much baggage. Basically easy pickings, low hanging fruit. They may be wonderful human beings on the inside but because most haven't aged well, they aren't good for more than some fun. No woman with any self respect would want to settle down with a older guy (shelf life of about 38-40.) If you do have the unfortunate occasion of keeping company with an older man who has flattered himself by thinking he 'deserves' a younger woman, tell him to stop talking, older isn't wiser. 4
elaine567 Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 38 minutes ago, fromheart said: Perhaps if you weren't so hard hearted, you'd have found someone by now. He's going on about his ex because he's not that into you I'm afraid. Stillafool is happily married. the guy in question is a friend of her husband... 4
Miss Spider Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) I haven’t really experienced this w men over 35. That’s my preferred age group. I can’t really stand most younger guys. Talking about Fortnite and crap. They annoy me Edited January 17, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1
SumGuy Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) On 1/16/2020 at 1:08 PM, hotpotato said: .. I think men by age 35 have met the one. That's not something I can relate to. I dont want to hear them nearly sob about it when we just met. How am I supposed to feel? Is this my imagination or what? Not your imagination. From what I hear (dating women myself) this is not unusual that a guy will go on about his ex even if it is just about how he dislikes her. I'd feel kind of off put and the few times women I have dated go on about their ex first/second date I change the subject. It usually works but I think that women pick up such social cues while men just miss them; especially men who are completely oblivious that these are not topics for initial dating conversation. If your not over your ex in whatever form, your dates are not the people to be working it out with. Young guys have issues to, maybe we don;t call them baggage because they have less to do with the past and more to do with the present and future. One caveat, in I think you describe these as ONS (one night stands?) part of it may be the guy trying to keep it to a ONS. Edited January 17, 2020 by SumGuy
SumGuy Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 On 1/16/2020 at 1:15 PM, stillafool said: Well I'm not dating him he's just a friend of my husbands who cries to us about his ex all the time. He's gorgeous but can't get over his pain which makes him less attractive. Well venting to ones friends (your husband) is the way to go about this. That is what friends are for, not ones dates.
elaine567 Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 15 minutes ago, SumGuy said: Young guys have issues to, maybe we don;t call them baggage because they have less to do with the past and more to do with the present and future. Agreed, a lot of the young guys who post here have loads of issues, some more concerning than just being hung up on an ex... Life is hard.
stillafool Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 1 hour ago, SumGuy said: Well venting to ones friends (your husband) is the way to go about this. That is what friends are for, not ones dates. Not when she left him 3 years ago and he's still dragging that same baggage around. Friends can only stand so much.
elaine567 Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 1 minute ago, stillafool said: Not when she left him 3 years ago and he's still dragging that same baggage around. Friends can only stand so much. So has anyone told him to his face in no uncertain terms he needs to let it go... Such a waste of a life. He can walk and talk, the world is his oyster, one day he may find he regrets that he didn't take full advantage of being fit and healthy...
stillafool Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 My husband and other friends and family have told him to get over it to his face but he just will not move on. She's moved on to someone else a couple months after they broke up and they now have a child together. There are so many young women who want to date him, he'll date them then ghost and then start complaining about his baby momma again. The funny part is it was his cheating that broke them up. 3
SumGuy Posted January 17, 2020 Posted January 17, 2020 Some people can’t help living in the land of what if. 2
Author hotpotato Posted January 17, 2020 Author Posted January 17, 2020 39 minutes ago, stillafool said: My husband and other friends and family have told him to get over it to his face but he just will not move on. She's moved on to someone else a couple months after they broke up and they now have a child together. There are so many young women who want to date him, he'll date them then ghost and then start complaining about his baby momma again. The funny part is it was his cheating that broke them up. Are we talking about the same guy? He had an affair on True love. She one upped him by cheating and finding a new boyfriend and taking the kids away to another state for a year. 1
jspice Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 Wow, if this last post isn’t the epitome of men over 35 and their baggage. Maybe some reading comprehension is in order here.
fromheart Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 The other thing I'll add for the older women; When we're young, or at any age, we don't like leering middle aged women sleazing us out. It's disgusting. Since I was 14 I've had old hags on my case. Many boys and young men go through this. So if your going to have a go at being Mrs Robinson, make sure he's of age and have a bit of respect. 1
Author hotpotato Posted January 18, 2020 Author Posted January 18, 2020 16 hours ago, SumGuy said: Not your imagination. From what I hear (dating women myself) this is not unusual that a guy will go on about his ex even if it is just about how he dislikes her. I'd feel kind of off put and the few times women I have dated go on about their ex first/second date I change the subject. It usually works but I think that women pick up such social cues while men just miss them; especially men who are completely oblivious that these are not topics for initial dating conversation. If your not over your ex in whatever form, your dates are not the people to be working it out with. Young guys have issues to, maybe we don;t call them baggage because they have less to do with the past and more to do with the present and future. One caveat, in I think you describe these as ONS (one night stands?) part of it may be the guy trying to keep it to a ONS. Hes almost too honest so I think he'd just say so. He said he'd love to see me again. However, I'm not trying to date him and probably the feeling is mutual.
Author hotpotato Posted January 18, 2020 Author Posted January 18, 2020 12 hours ago, fromheart said: The other thing I'll add for the older women; When we're young, or at any age, we don't like leering middle aged women sleazing us out. It's disgusting. Since I was 14 I've had old hags on my case. Many boys and young men go through this. So if your going to have a go at being Mrs Robinson, make sure he's of age and have a bit of respect. I didnt hear any complaints. How do you know older women are hags? I'm very, very far from that. 1
stillafool Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 14 hours ago, hotpotato said: Are we talking about the same guy? He had an affair on True love. She one upped him by cheating and finding a new boyfriend and taking the kids away to another state for a year. No not the same guy; but the same action with the same outcome, but not out of state. Some people are just stupid.
stillafool Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 13 hours ago, fromheart said: The other thing I'll add for the older women; When we're young, or at any age, we don't like leering middle aged women sleazing us out. It's disgusting. Since I was 14 I've had old hags on my case. Many boys and young men go through this. So if your going to have a go at being Mrs Robinson, make sure he's of age and have a bit of respect. I would say the same goes for men. I remember at 14 old bad breath men in my face trying to be cute or leering and making inappropriate comments to me. They were sleazy and disgusting and no young girl welcomes them. You have no idea how young girls laugh behind your back at that foolishness. It's funny that even though you're middle aged you don't want middle aged women looking at you. I'm sure they don't mind. 1
fromheart Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 40 minutes ago, stillafool said: I would say the same goes for men. I remember at 14 old bad breath men in my face trying to be cute or leering and making inappropriate comments to me. They were sleazy and disgusting and no young girl welcomes them. You have no idea how young girls laugh behind your back at that foolishness. It's funny that even though you're middle aged you don't want middle aged women looking at you. I'm sure they don't mind. I didn't say for one minute that girls don't get sleazed out, did I? What I said was that I found it disgusting, as do most men and boys. So you need to remember that it works both ways. As for implying that I am somehow responsible for this, this is a pathetic accusation. I'd be careful with accusations like that in real life, you'll get sued. You also need to accept that you will competing against younger women, and will loose. Unless you are the rare person who has developed themselves, and judging by the heartlessness you have expressed on this thread that clearly isn't the case. No man is going to care whether middle aged woman are looking at him or not, when the young women are looking at him. I am no exception.
fromheart Posted January 18, 2020 Posted January 18, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, hotpotato said: I didnt hear any complaints. How do you know older women are hags? I'm very, very far from that. No, you didn't hear the complaints. What a surprise. How would you like it if a man said 'he didn't hear the complaints,' when predating upon a girl? Would you hear it then? Yes, but not when its a boy. What a disgusting attitude. I'll tell you something, any sleazy, leering old hag acts inappropriately with the boys in my family they get dealt with. As I would do a man. Edited January 18, 2020 by fromheart
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