mortensorchid Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Many have remarked that I seem rather sad these last few years in my general presence on this forum. Well, yes, I am. I am incomplete in life and I want a relationship. But I hit nothing but dead ends at all times no matter what happens. Divorced Dad is gone that last text was his last official communication with me and has not responded to anything else I have posted or texted his way. I am glad I will be seeing my shrink on Monday it's been a long time. What do you do to get past sadness? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 1 minute ago, mortensorchid said: What do you do to get past sadness? I take a shyt load of Zoloft Link to post Share on other sites
Artdeco Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 And a few drinks here and there can help. 😊🥃🍷 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 How can you love somebody else when you do not love yourself? Every minute I get by myself is a blessing; some days I am more blessed than others. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 You have to create your own fun and happiness. Even if you find true love, it's guaranteed that person is going to let you down sometimes. And then what? Only a good well of inner strength and happiness can sustain you through all the ups and downs of life. I like saving inspirational quotes on Pinterest. Here are a few good ones: "When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." -African proverb "One comes to believe whatever one repeats to oneself, whether the statement be true or false." -Napoleon Hill "Live out of your imagination, not your history." -Stephen Covey "Miserable mortals, open your eyes." -Leonarda da Vinci 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) 10x10 deadlifts. Edited January 17, 2020 by Interstellar 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Angelflower Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I hope everything turns around for you soon. I get you mortensorchid … I have been waking up for months now crying. I use to be able to shake it off and go about my day but lately I am finding it harder and harder... the sadness just takes over and I am on the edge of tears 24/7 now. It doesn't seem like 2020 is going to bring me any relief either. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelflower Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 42 minutes ago, alphamale said: I take a shyt load of Zoloft I have adverse reactions to these types of meds... so I smoke a lot of weed instead. puff puff 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 ^ I enjoy weed myself on occasion, but in excess it's a depressant. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 51 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: What do you do to get past sadness? Occupy myself with a project... Do some yard work or some home improvements. Turn some wrenches on my truck, just something to keep my hands and mind moving. I'll feel a sense of accomplishment when I'm done, that usually gets me past any "down" feelings. I don't usually get down or sad unless someone close to me passes away. During the times, I've been alone... I'm usually OK with it, when I want to date, I go out and find someone to date. I'm sorry things didn't work out with "Divorced Dad", but don't dwell on it too much; he really wasn't ever in a relationship with you. I do think you helped him a bit by being his friend. If I were you, I'd shower up, put on something nice and go hit the town. Sitting at home looking at the four walls isn't going to help, get out and be seen. Who knows... some guy might come up to you and introduce himself. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Angelflower Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 6 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: ^ I enjoy weed myself on occasion, but in excess it's a depressant. I find life a depressant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Calmandfocused Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Please do not under any circumstances take any self prescribed mood altering substances in the view that they will help you. They won’t. They just mask the problem and you risk the chance of developing a dependency. You be better off doing the following IMO: 1) change whatever in your life that is making you unhappy. A lack of relationship isn’t making you unhappy. Change something in your life to help you feel happier. 2) change your thinking with the help of your therapist. I get the sense that your placing too much importance on having a relationship and the value you place on yourself as a person, if you got a relationship tomorrow this wouldn’t be the answer to your prayers or solve your unhappiness. Only you can make you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 10 hours ago, Angelflower said: I have adverse reactions to these types of meds... so I smoke a lot of weed instead. puff puff nothing wrong with that 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I agree about not "Self Medicating." Alcohol and weed are ok... but to lean on them to help is wrong. I'm sorry about single dad, but this also goes back to what I was saying about Xmas eve. Sure, it's fun to have a FWB, but you didn't really use that for "Fun"... you used it for a mental crutch. (the intimacy and closeness of a SO you desire) You wanted to be close to someone, but once it was over... the high of that situation left you lower. I have zero issues with a FWB, but you have to be good with yourself first. Getting things off your chest, and talking to your councilor should help. Stay strong, and good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I've posted this many times here because it's helped me. 5HTP is an over-the-counter supplement. You can google it for more info. Give it a try, it's a non-pharmaceutical option to help with depressed moods. Getting back into counseling is a great idea. It's true, how you feel about yourself greatly impacts your ability to connect to others. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelflower Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 49 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: I agree about not "Self Medicating." Alcohol and weed are ok... but to lean on them to help is wrong. How do you know it's "self medicating"? Maybe I have a prescription. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 Socializing or "achievements" --> dopamine Time in nature --> serotonin Cute kitten videos and the like and random acts of kindness --> oxytocin Exercise --> endogenous opiates TV shows, music, books, movies, hobbies --> distractions (acceptable) Pick your poison. Volunteering can hit a few of these at once and give you opportunities to meet people as well as a sense of identity. If you're not already happy inside, drugs will sugar coat things but you'll make no progress towards your goals. The alternatives mentioned above will too if done to excess, but they tend to be milder and not addictive. If your psychiatrist feels a need to prescribe you something, that's different. Work on alternative approaches to meet your goal of finding someone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 I am a little more cerebral than emotional so when I am disappointed or sad I will remind myself that 50% of this is my doing. Once I accept my responsibility in the matter it's easier to move on and the sadness goes away. You are not sad because of divorced dad, you are sad of another lost opportunity. There will be other opportunities, and you'll approach them with opened eyes. Each of those micro relationship are teaching you about 'yourself', are you open to learning from them. Other than that cookie-dough ice cream is my favorite drug. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 (edited) 11 hours ago, Angelflower said: I find life a depressant. I've been there. I understand that substances can feel like a nice cozy warm blanket to shield you from the pain of the world. But too much has a way of keeping you withdrawn and isolated, shielding you from good stuff like love and inspiration, too. So be careful with relying on it too much. Edited January 17, 2020 by Ruby Slippers Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 19 hours ago, Angelflower said: I have adverse reactions to these types of meds... so I smoke a lot of weed instead. puff puff Not a weed guy myself, but I am enjoying a nice extra, extra dry (no vermouth) Martini as I type this. If I feel like splurging I'll go Grey Goose or Chopin. After the holidays though (cutting back on expenses) I'm enjoying Stoli. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelflower Posted January 17, 2020 Share Posted January 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said: I've been there. I understand that substances can feel like a nice cozy warm blanket to shield you from the pain of the world. But too much has a way of keeping you withdrawn and isolated, shielding you from good stuff like love and inspiration, too. So be careful with relying on it too much. Not sure why you want to just assume that if people mentions using they are then abusing. This is exactly why I don't tell people that I smoke weed... they want to jump to all kinds of conclusions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted January 18, 2020 Author Share Posted January 18, 2020 Got the official answer from Divorced Dad tonight. We chatted he said he was not ready to take things to the next level, he thought he was at first but he's not ready. He said I should keep my options open but he can't offer me more than just being friends now. I knew he would say this. Makes me sad but ... it's what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 ahh mortensorchid, forget about him, he's a loser Link to post Share on other sites
Angelflower Posted January 18, 2020 Share Posted January 18, 2020 I agree alpha... <<<HUGS>>> tomorrow is a new day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mortensorchid Posted January 18, 2020 Author Share Posted January 18, 2020 Crying now. I said I wouldn't but I am anyway. I was hoping he would be with me but he said he can't. It's not me it's him he said. Link to post Share on other sites
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