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Wife of 27 yrs cheated


SadNlonely18

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Her parents gave her till the weekend to move out. I have no clue where she is planning on going but I just hope she doesn't take the kids. I am just feeling hopeless right now I also just found out I'm getting laid off from work. When it rains it pours.

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1 hour ago, SadNlonely18 said:

Her parents gave her till the weekend to move out. I have no clue where she is planning on going but I just hope she doesn't take the kids. I am just feeling hopeless right now I also just found out I'm getting laid off from work. When it rains it pours.

The Law of Attraction have you heard ? What is your line of work & country ? Level of education? Let me try to help

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Well can u and the children stay with the in-laws. She can go where ever. Also when she has the children, the new boyfriends can not be there or have sleep overs. This has to be agreed to prior to them going to WW abode. Again this is all on her not you. Try to be a good role model through this. No booze, drugs etc, exercise and eat healthy also drink lots of water. Talk to the children they will have fears about your WW actions and pending D. But don’t include her wayward actions. 
Cancel all joint accounts now, you don’t want her running up any more marriage debt. Hit the job circuit hard, but nothing too far so to require moving she and you cannot take the children interstate whilst this is going on. 
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Thank you for the advice. I do not do drugs or drink heavily so I'm ok in that department. I cannot stay at my in laws it just wouldn't feel right. I believe the boyfriend still lives at home so I dont think his parents would approve.

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3 hours ago, SadNlonely18 said:

I am a truck driver just some junior college no degree..I live in the Los Angeles area USA

You must have a Class 1 Drivers license w airbrakes, etc.. i am sure u can find work easy. Your profession is in demand. 
 

Research “the secret” by Rhonda Byrne.. this is about the Law of Attraction. Bringing positive changes in our life ( jobs, finances, & personal ).. “ask, believe & you shall receive”.. try practicing this, get away from negative thoughts, toxic people..

For your job- imagine yourself at home driving a Brand New Truck.. picture this in your mind & heart...

I will refrain from the personal side for now because of the events that happened..

 

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So she asked if she could spend time with the kids and I said that was fine so she picked them up from school took them to eat something and when I picked them up the kids told me she said she wanted them to meet her new boyfriend! I was in disbelief she would bring them into this. They were very distraught cried when they got in my car. I asked her if she said this to them she denied it at first but said yes they will meet him soon. It just angered me so much I don't know what to do anymore.

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If you know who he is run a background check on him. See if he has a criminal history and put a restraining order on him so he can’t be anywhere around your kids. 

Edited by usa1ah
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1 hour ago, SadNlonely18 said:

So she asked if she could spend time with the kids and I said that was fine so she picked them up from school took them to eat something and when I picked them up the kids told me she said she wanted them to meet her new boyfriend! I was in disbelief she would bring them into this. They were very distraught cried when they got in my car. I asked her if she said this to them she denied it at first but said yes they will meet him soon. It just angered me so much I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry you’re dealing with this but from what I’ve seen you won’t have much control over who she introduces them to. That’s real hard to control or get a judgement against unless he has a criminal background. I would inform her parents. They seem like they’re more of an ally than most in these situations.

just another of her actions that tell you she’s not much of a mother either.

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7 hours ago, SadNlonely18 said:

So she asked if she could spend time with the kids and I said that was fine so she picked them up from school took them to eat something and when I picked them up the kids told me she said she wanted them to meet her new boyfriend! I was in disbelief she would bring them into this. They were very distraught cried when they got in my car. I asked her if she said this to them she denied it at first but said yes they will meet him soon. It just angered me so much I don't know what to do anymore.

WW needs to be told in no uncertain terms ‘Her actions introducing the children to her AP so soon is disrespectful and will only do more damage’. She is too selfish for words. Her actions need to be wound back. She has to be told that the children are #1 here, not her new AP, not her feelings, not her decision. Tell all, her parents, her friends, and also inform HR of the work affair.

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UCanCallMeCrazy

When you find your SO is cheating on you your immediate hope is that they will stop now that they have been caught.  More often is the case that they go all out, escalate and flaunt their cheating activity.

I think this is where you are at and introducing the OM to the kids is her way of flaunting.  It must be quite a shock to you that she is doing this.

Ask yourself what you can do to shock her.  It might be what she needs to wise up and dispense with the flaunting.

How is that apartment search going?

Edited by UCanCallMeCrazy
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On 1/17/2020 at 10:25 AM, Marc878 said:

Go online and check your phone bill. Like most her boyfriends number will be there. With that you can get the rest of his info.

keep your info and actions to yourself. Do not tell your wayward wife anything.

you probably only know the “tip of the iceberg”

Check her contacts, the BF will be under some other name. Like a gf, the gas company, something. Once you find it frequently in the call records you can then find it in the contacts.

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I am no longer staying with the in-laws I am staying in a hotel room with my kids for now. The kids do not want to stay with her so I have some comfort with them being here with me but I know it's just a matter of time before she takes them. I was unable to check her contacts Cuz she put a pin code on her phone.

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16 minutes ago, SadNlonely18 said:

I am no longer staying with the in-laws I am staying in a hotel room with my kids for now. The kids do not want to stay with her so I have some comfort with them being here with me but I know it's just a matter of time before she takes them. I was unable to check her contacts Cuz she put a pin code on her phone.

I really believe that the kids should not leave the comfort of their home and be in the middle of their parents' separation. I strongly suggest you ask a lawyer what your best move is. Leaving the home doesn't sound wise to me. She could say in a court that you kidnapped the kids and left or something.

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It was her that asked me to take the kids and her parents agreed since she works nights and her parents are wheel chair bound there is no one to watch the kids. I have spoken to an attorney and he will be starting the paperwork.

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Good, remain the best you can be in these circumstances. 
Can the legal advisor go for supervised visitation for her and her child lover. He is only 2 to 3 years older than your college daughter. 
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  • 3 weeks later...
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Hi S2B..I am doing better but still an emotional mess. The ex is doing my kids some serious harm by continuing to flaunt her bf and showing pda in front of them without considering how they feel about it. They don't even want to visit with her for one day. My little girl says she doesn't love her anymore and I don't blame her.

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