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Why do women date musicians?


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43 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said:

I would not date a musician.

Emotion, expression, feeling, passion... I would not want a man who does those things for a living, or as a substantial part of his identity. I find it feminine.

But I'm a bit of an anomaly, I guess, so it stands to reason that most women would dig that.

This is exactly what I mean. Unless you are involved in music, you can't really understand. You don't get it. 

Edited by bachdude
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People date musicians because they see their feelings and passion and the way they play their instruments and figure that they will play your body with the same skill and finesse.

Exactly way I wouldn’t date one. I mean I have, but it was short lived because it got on my nerves. I don’t find it feminine, I just wouldn’t want all that competition. 😬 

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LivingWaterPlease
1 hour ago, Kitty Tantrum said:

I would not date a musician.

Emotion, expression, feeling, passion... I would not want a man who does those things for a living, or as a substantial part of his identity. I find it feminine.

But I'm a bit of an anomaly, I guess, so it stands to reason that most women would dig that.

I get that, Kitty. I've felt that way about artists but it's really a stereotype that not all fit into. My H (great vocalist, could have been a pro entertainer but chose a different career) and the musician I dated are both tall, strapping men's men. Both well built, over six feet (interestingly their faces look very similar) and savvy businessmen. My H played basketball for the college he attended and was an all-star. Neither is feminine in any way, both very assertive types who don't wear their emotions on their sleeves, and both extremely charismatic. The rock guy I dated has turned his performances into a business that stretches way beyond concerts, such as music for TV sitcoms, movies and his work has been used in many other ways. You've gotta be tough to negotiate those type deals. At one time he had an agent but segued into being his own agent, still using an attorney. 

Edited by LivingWaterPlease
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Lots of stereotypes here.  I'm older, so maybe my experience is different, the musicians I know are all in their 30s and above.   

A few of my musician friends are financially unstable, but most are comfortable.  Some have regular "day jobs" that provide stability, but a few are successful enough with music that they have stable comfortable lives solely from their music, performing, recording and touring.  

Some are players and take advantage of the female fans willing to have meaningless hookups, but many are quite happy to be faithful and committed.  They still appreciate good looking women, but after awhile the charm of actually doing anything about it wears off.  

Some are very sensitive, some can be real a**h****.  In my experience the guys aren't feminine in the least.  The sensitivity is expressed in such a way that is certainly not girly.   

So in short, they are just like the general population in these characteristics - they come in all varieties.  They just get more opportunities to "hook up" if that's what they want to do.

I disagree that it's just a job like any other.  The thing I find that musicians have in common is creativity and openness in thoughts and feelings.  They retain a youthful exuberance for their love of music that translates to living in general.  It's an energy that you either gravitate toward, or not.  I love it.  

Edited by Finding my way
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LivingWaterPlease
14 minutes ago, Finding my way said:

So in short, they are just like the general population in these characteristics - they come in all varieties.  They just get more opportunities to "hook up" if that's what they want to do.

I disagree that it's just a job like any other.  The thing I find that musicians have in common is creativity and openness in thoughts and feelings.  They retain a youthful exuberance for their love of music that translates to living in general.  It's an energy that you either gravitate toward, or not.  I love it.  

Agree with the above. Very well expressed, FMW! 

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I'm a musician myself.

Only reason I can think of is that we put music before women at a very early age.  At 17, music came first for me.  Doesn't matter how attractive the woman was, I would never bow down to her wishes and my band always came before her. 

There's actually a lot of skill involved in being in a band, responsibilities the average teenager doesn't have.  My free time could be not just writing music and practicing, but organizing.  Venues to play, studios to practice, printing our own flyers, distributing them... Takes a lot of team effort and focus.  It would set you apart from the average teenager.

The downsides are pretty obvious, especially if you want to make a living from it.

I've since figured out that women never like to be a priority, value the man who puts his own needs first, and has a mission and purpose that goes beyond her.

 

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When I was a young woman I dated a few musicians some in well known bands.  They were hot, fun and exciting.  I love to see a man handle his instrument.

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