I found that boyfriend is sexting with a co-worker....

[Andre_1609]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. We are both 20 years old and we are happy so i was in shock when i found out due to a common friend (she works with him) that he spends almost all day at work with a girl that is 2 years older than him and by photos seems to be the model type. Apparently, they sit next to each other all day, they go to lunch, breaks together and basically everything. I confronted my boyfriend about this and he denied it but after some days of me being distant and a lot of fights he confessed everything. He promised me that he never slept with her and that he never planned to do it but that one night after they went out with her and other co-workers, they were both drunk and after going home he started to sent her some messages, they sexted for about an hour and then he went to sleep and woke up feeling very very guilty. 

Now, i feel like i should break up with him but we have been together for almost 3 years and this girls is changing jobs in a few months so i am not sure if i should just trow everything because of this.

[Interstellar]

Yes, break up with him. And you’re 20, and he’s 20 so the odds are stacked against you. 
You will find somebody else. Wish him the best and move on. 

[d0nnivain]

You mean your EX BF is doing that right?   

When she changes jobs they may stop having lunch but the sexting won't stop.   

You have been together since you were 17.  Now that you are adults this relationship is no longer working for him & he wants to explore who else is out there.  Let him.   Meanwhile after you lick your wounds you go find a mature guy who wants a commitment with you.  Your STBXBF wants to sow wild oats.   

Edited January 18, 2020 by d0nnivain

[schlumpy]

The elephant in the room is that you had to catch him before he would confess. Now he wants you to believe the story he came up with.

I guess you have a decision to make. 

[ExpatInItaly]

He has outgrown your relationship and doesn't have the courage to be honest and break up with you.

Whether she leaves the job or not, he's not committed to you anymore. He would never have gotten so close to her (or any other girl) if he were still invested in your relationship. You've been together since you were 17, and he's evidently getting ready to see what else is out there. Even if he never speaks to her again, it doesn't change the fact that he's grown out of what you two once shared. 

I'm sorry, OP. This isn't something you are throwing away; he is. 

EDIT: I took a look at your posting history. In March of 2019, you posted that you and a guy you were seeing were not in a good place. I take it this was your boyfriend? What was going on a year ago? 

Edited January 18, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[Ruby Slippers]

He doesn't really love you and he'll do it again. It's a lost cause with him. 

[smackie9]

You got me at the title. If he doesn't think what he is doing is cheating, then he really does have issues. Send him packing.

[Noproblem]

6 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You mean your EX BF is doing that right?   

When she changes jobs they may stop having lunch but the sexting won't stop.   

You have been together since you were 17.  Now that you are adults this relationship is no longer working for him & he wants to explore who else is out there.  Let him.   Meanwhile after you lick your wounds you go find a mature guy who wants a commitment with you.  Your STBXBF wants to sow wild oats.   

What commitment, she is not even 21 yet! she is not even legal to drink!

She should focus on building her life and her future.

 

 

Edited January 18, 2020 by Noproblem

[OnlyHonesty]

11 hours ago, Andre_1609 said:

Now, i feel like i should break up with him but we have been together for almost 3 years and this girls is changing jobs in a few months so i am not sure if i should just trow everything because of this.

Look up 'sunk cost fallacy' if you aren't already aware of it. It's not a good reason to stick around.

[JTSW]

On 1/18/2020 at 1:31 PM, Andre_1609 said:

He promised me that he never slept with her and that he never planned to do it but that one night after they went out with her and other co-workers, they were both drunk and after going home he started to sent her some messages, they sexted for about an hour and then he went to sleep and woke up feeling very very guilty. 

And what happens the next time he is drunk?

He will be sexting her again.

On 1/18/2020 at 1:31 PM, Andre_1609 said:

This girls is changing jobs in a few months so i am not sure if i should just trow everything because of this.

It doesn't matter where she works.

It won't stop them texting. They can meet up anywhere outside of work too.

The fact that he spends so much time with this girl shows he is smitten with her.

[elaine567]

He's a horny 20yo man. He likes sex and he wants sex with this girl.
Sexting in this situation is a substitute for real sex, as he thinks it is not cheating or she turned him down.
It is a way of stating his intentions without actually doing the deed. 
Next time she may be more up for it... or they may have already done it...
You need to look at your relationship more practically
He is not your one and only, he is just someone to pass the time with.
You are 20, you don't need to accept the first frog that shows up...

Edited January 20, 2020 by elaine567

[UCanCallMeCrazy]

Surprising that a relationship that started at age 17 is still going 3 years later, but it does happen.

His hanging out with another woman at work and being friendly & drunk with her is not an appropriate thing to be doing.  He says there has been no sex. . . OK, but what has there been ? Kissing, make out session, etc.?

His interest in her is a ticking bomb that will eventually go off.  Being 20 years old, he has not explored ‘the world of women’ enough yet.  So, continuing with your relationship will be tough.

i think it would be best to have ‘the adult talk’ with him as to if your relationship will really last.