chillii Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Well , it's obviously self inflicted , the womans turned into an idiot . Sounds like she's mlc'g to. l actually think he was a bit silly supporting her in the first place she didn't deserve it if she's so indiscriminant and thinks she can just fly of the deep end in her marriage and life but expect no consequences . Maybe he should be telling her a few things she needs to hear from him instead of supporting plain idiocy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Thanks for the summary CautiouslyOptimistic It helps. I keep half an ear open to American news but sometimes feel I have missed a crucial bit as I think we get snippets here in the UK rather than the whole story. I should do my own research really. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 19, 2020 Author Share Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) I think he felt that if he was a good enough ally to her that this wouldn't have a negative effect on their relationship but it did. Let this be a lesson to men who think if they side enough with male bashers that somehow they will be exempt. The guy went to the women's march with her and wore a pink hat but now he seems to have been red pilled for lack of a better term. Edited January 19, 2020 by Woggle Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 Oh jezuz. l feel sorry for him and l can understand how hard it would've been to know just how to handle it . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Banana Bender Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 (edited) Firstly, he's your friend, and to the extent he asked for advice you're obligated to give it honestly, and to support him. That's how friendship works. There's undoubtedly a lot more history to the story than the brief outline you've given, but at the end of the day, they split up and he decided he didn't want to go back. End of story. This thread does NOT call for us to pass judgement on the friend's marriage. The only question here is whether the OP is wrong for supporting his friend. And the answer is a definitive no. Edited January 19, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 16 hours ago, Woggle said: She supposedly is furious at me and blames me for poisoning his mind against her. It sounds like you were just a supportive friend but this woman thought she could run roughshod over her husband & he'd take it. When he didn't, she needed a scapegoat. As long as your buddy doesn't think you ruined his marriage, don't worry about it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tamfana Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 No matter what you or his family and friends said to him, it's his decision so no one else is at fault. No one truly knows what goes on in someone else's relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted January 19, 2020 Share Posted January 19, 2020 You did nothing wrong. If it was the other way around and a guy said to his girlfriend, Hey, did you see what Ashley Judd said today? I can't even look at you. You need to get out and stay somewhere else tonight! I would advise the girl he was abusive and if that wasn't a show-stopper I don't know what is. If that guy blamed me for his girlfriend breaking up with him, I would just think that idiot was doubling down and digging a deeper hole with his complete lack of self-awareness. You are exactly right, he would always be a punching bag. When my friends ask me for advice I always know if I actually bite and give advice, it will come back on me at some point so I only give that kind of advice to someone I strongly feel needs it. If I don't want the wrath of the people involved, I just avoid giving advice. Since the guy acted that quickly, frankly he didn't need your advice and the decision was all his. If he didn't already think that, he wouldn't have ended it so quickly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) Manipulation is such a subtle thing... You can achieve much with the right type of manipulation, but the second certain information comes to light, the second the point of view is changed even slightly... The whole show can come to an abrupt end. You have to understand, abuse is a cyclical thing; those who are abused, are likely to become abusers. His wife, her point of view was manipulated by the information she had digested, to the point where it deeply affected her marriage... Somebody who can be manipulated on this level, is likely to attempt to manipulate others and when she is confronted by logic, by reality, and the manipulation comes to light, she will realize manipulation was her only tool to control her perspective and either two things happen: She accepts reality and logic, which change her point of view, or she gets angry and denies everything. The fact that she is blaming you, is actually kind of scary, because it shows you the level of manipulation she is attempting to employ and the fact that her attempts at manipulation have failed, angers her to no end. Edited January 22, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator off topic Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) No you are not at all at fault. Those suggesting you are happens to be those who always seem to figure out a way to blame men for all poor female behavior. Your friends wife seems to be off, and you did what 99% of us would do when asked by someone we care about advice. Give them the best advice we can for them. Sometimes that advice isnt in the best interest of someone else, in this case his wife. Edited January 22, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/18/2020 at 11:06 AM, Woggle said: My friend is about to finalize his divorce and supposedly his soon to be ex is going around blaming me for getting in his ear and encouraging me him to leave. What happened is that after Trump was elected she turn into a super radical feminist and being very hateful against men. He was supportive of her and thought she just needed to get her rage out but it all hit the fan during the Kavanaugh thing. She told him to leave the house and get a hotel because she couldn't deal with being any men and we was away for almost two weeks. He loved the peace and quiet while away so when she invited him back home he served her with divorce papers. I told him that he can do what he wants but he will be a punching bag again in the future whenever something happens that triggers her misandry again. He is not obligated to take abuse because of events that have nothing to do with them and while I fully support what he is doing he went to me for advice and I gave him my opinion. She supposedly is furious at me and blames me for poisoning his mind against her. If she never made him into the enemy they would still be married if you ask me. Yep, he'd still be married to a moron. LOL - Kavanaugh - if his (accuser) could so much as prove that she and Kavanaugh had ever been at the same Super Bowl, the same World Series game, the same Indy 500... then the world would be far more inclined to believe her. At least Anita Hill could prove she'd met Clarence Thomas... and at least Monica could prove with a photo that she'd met The Big Creep (not to mention added evidence later). Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Don't let it bother you. If my friends want my advice I will provide it. What they do with it is their business. She can claim it was your fault but I suspect her actions were one more brick in the wall she has been building between them. He just had enough. I didn't hear you say she was fighting the divorce. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 Woggle, I didn't just advise my sister to leave her marriage, I actively supported her. Nothing wrong with getting involved when your support is required. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 On 1/18/2020 at 9:01 PM, spiderowl said: Thanks for the summary CautiouslyOptimistic It helps. I keep half an ear open to American news but sometimes feel I have missed a crucial bit as I think we get snippets here in the UK rather than the whole story. I should do my own research really. In my humble opinion the best news source is the business news. I find it has the least amount of spin. The Drudge Report is also a good source with a variety of articles along with the top news stories. Just take everything with a grain of salt. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 4 hours ago, schlumpy said: Don't let it bother you. If my friends want my advice I will provide it. What they do with it is their business. She can claim it was your fault but I suspect her actions were one more brick in the wall she has been building between them. He just had enough. I didn't hear you say she was fighting the divorce. She was at first but now she has accepted that it is over but it is blaming everybody but herself. She says that if he was a true ally to women he should be able to take a little discomfort and that he had no right to live it up during those two weeks while she was going through a PTSD episode. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 yeah... this is why you don't get between a married couple..and if you DO give advice, swear that person never mention your name. lol. so, yeah, she's just not taking responsibility and blaming you... BUT, you kinda put yourself in this situation, so it's kinda on you too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 8 hours ago, Woggle said: She was at first but now she has accepted that it is over but it is blaming everybody but herself. She says that if he was a true ally to women he should be able to take a little discomfort and that he had no right to live it up during those two weeks while she was going through a PTSD episode. I have to chuckle about her talking about him not being a 'true ally to women' and in the same breath saying it was only a two week PTSD episode. She's certifiable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 She is really big on men giving up their privilege and feeling discomfort which is why she is mad he couldn't tolerate two weeks of losing his which is what she calls it. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 Radical feminist women are as offensive as overbearing sexist men. It takes limited emotional intelligence to be either. His marriage to this misandrist nut-job would have ended anyway. Ignore her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 6 hours ago, MsJayne said: Radical feminist women are as offensive as overbearing sexist men. It takes limited emotional intelligence to be either. His marriage to this misandrist nut-job would have ended anyway. Ignore her. That is pretty much what my wife said to her. She told her that she turned into the same thing she claims to be fighting against. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted January 23, 2020 Share Posted January 23, 2020 If someone is shallow or uneducated enough to divorce their spouse over who they voted for, then they're even more ignorant than you thought they were. Here's some news for you: I voted for candidates who didn't win going all the way back to high school. I don't whine or complain when the guy I voted for didn't win, I just said "ah well, it's what it is." And when the person I voted for did win, I don't rub it in people's faces. Why? Because I practice some humility, I'm not always right either. The world has turned into a bunch of narcissistic snobs who scream at you if you're not on the social justice wagon with them. But I digress... As to this divorce, it had nothing to do with you or Trump. They had issues unrelated to you or Trump and their marriage didn't dissolve because of you or him. I also have some news for you, them and everyone who is reading this : The Big DT doesn't answer to you personally! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 23, 2020 Author Share Posted January 23, 2020 I guess so but the election does seem to have awakened something that was deep seeded in her that nobody noticed before. In 2014 I would have said they were an example of a couple that truly loved each other and according to him he never saw this side of her until the last couple of years. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 Woggle, could there be mental health issues at play? I know that if my hubby had a huge personality change, it's the first thing I'd want to rule out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted January 27, 2020 Author Share Posted January 27, 2020 56 minutes ago, basil67 said: Woggle, could there be mental health issues at play? I know that if my hubby had a huge personality change, it's the first thing I'd want to rule out. Maybe but from what I hear she spends almost all her free time on feminist twitter and they radicalize women the same way the incel forums radicalize men. She spends all day online bashing men and marriage but is mad because he left her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 27, 2020 Share Posted January 27, 2020 Twitter is the death of rational thinking. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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