What do younger girls see in older guys?

[Shining One]

The last three women I picked up for ONS were all under 25. Women who appeared to be around my own age were mostly giving me the cold shoulder. I didn't see too many older women out, so I can't gauge their response. It's a stark contrast to my late twenties. Women my own age and younger were generally ignoring me and the vast majority of my sexual partners were in their late thirties, my current age group.

[preraph]

I remember Clint Eastwood all the way from when he was barely twenty doing Rawhide, and I thought his sexiest role was The Beguiled. His spaghetti westerns and Dirty Harry movies are really hard to beat, and I love Play Misty For Me, a very early stalker movie.  And he still makes great movies. He's just a legend, and honestly today's younger generation could use some strong male role models like him. 

 

[Banana Bender]

Firstly, what does any woman (or man) see in any man?  Why does she want to marry?
Whatever she is looking for, its often easier to find in an older man.  Keep in mind, that almost by definition we tend to be talking about a subset of ladies, those looking for a full-time committed relationship.  Women looking for a part-time fwb, somebody to trek the Andes, or help them save the planet, is more likely to go for a himbo.

Secondly, older guys try harder because they need to.  The first thing they teach in sales school is that the best deal is one in which both parties think they got a good deal.  An older guy who realises he's lucky to have a younger woman, will treat her like a queen.

For all these decades of "women's lib", the media now objectifies women more than ever:
Woman are still expected to all look like models.  
Woman are now expected not just to have sex 10 times a week, but to instigate it, enjoy it, and to enjoy getting rogered.
Rather than putting meat & 3-veg on the table every night, they should all cook like Nigella.
And they should achieve all this whilst having a high-paid career that allows them to pay their own way and contribute equally.
End result is that too many young guys spend their time fantasising about finding something better.

Part of it is that guys CAN father children when they are older.  So a lady looking to settle down, marry, and start a family, can happily consider guys over a huge age range, young and old.  And, in knowing this, some guys are not in a hurry to start a family, so it becomes almost self fulfilling.
Furthermore, when ladies do reach this point, many realise that older guys make better husbands and fathers.  They're more willing to spend their spare time with their family, than hanging out or playing sports with their mates.

Edited January 19, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed derogatory comment

[basil67]

Anyway, just how much older are you talking Bender?    When we had our first, I was 29 and hubby was 35.   (His personal cut off age for kids was 36 and we snuck number 2 in when he was 37) He was old enough to be established but young enough to be an active father, more likely to be around for grandchildren and to have healthy sperm.   Is this the type of age range you're talking about?  

Regarding women's lib, it's given us choice.   I nearly killed hubby in the bedroom.  I cook like Nigella because I detest meat and 3 veg (a male flatmate from years ago complained "it's like going to a restaurant every night")  I don't look like a model (my hair is short and functional, I rarely wear makeup and I forget to shave my legs and pits...let alone remember the rest of me.   I didn't have a high paid career, which is just as well because now I'm a full time carer to our disabled child.  And now we have a 20yo daughter who's feminist, refuses to straighten her hair, a bit goth, forgets to shave and buys her clothes at the flea market.   I think you're exaggerating about women having to conform to objectification.

Edited January 19, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Els]

4 hours ago, Banana Bender said:

Firstly, what does any woman (or man) see in any man?  Why does she want to marry?
Whatever she is looking for, its often easier to find in an older man. 

I married a man who is the same age as me, so I personally disagree . One of the most important things to me is the mental and emotional connection, someone who "got" me, and I him. I imagine it would be far more difficult to find that in a person who is in a markedly different phase of life, and who grew up in a different generation.

I have been hit on by older men, and honestly the main gut reaction that I get is revulsion. I think of my dad when I look at them, and that squicks me in all sorts of ways. I suppose it does depend on how "much" older - I think I've been attracted to a man 7 years older before, but that was the limit (and thank goodness it didn't work out).

Edited January 19, 2020 by Elswyth

[basil67]

@Elswyth I once got hit on by an old guy who knew my father - but he didn’t realise who I was.  We’d been chatting for a bit and I asked him if he was part of a particular sports club.  He said he was, so I said “oh, you must know my dad!”   He left very quickly after that.  And yes, I told my dad and he had a good laugh.

[fromheart]

Clint Eastwood in his mid to late 30's.  Over the hill and past his prime by today's standards, apparently.

http://www.media4.hw-static.com/wp-content/uploads/The-Good-the-Bad-and-the-Ugly-Clint-Eastwood-United-Artists-051815.jpg

[fromheart]

5 hours ago, Banana Bender said:

 Women looking for a part-time fwb, somebody to trek the Andes, or help them save the planet, is more likely to go for a himbo.

Secondly, older guys try harder because they need to.

What's disrespectful about saving the planet?  Is environmental pollution 'manly?'   Your looking for someone who doesn't care about your kids future?
And how is trekking for himbos?  Take exercise in nature is a sign of weakness is it?

Most men are going to walk away from you if you have that mentality.  Sorry to be direct, but that's the truth.

Try harder because they need to?  No.  You have to try harder on yourself, on your purpose in life.  With women it then becomes effortless. 
This is what a lot of people don't get. 

[Blind-Sided]

2 hours ago, Elswyth said:

..... I have been hit on by older men, and honestly the main gut reaction that I get is revulsion. I think of my dad when I look at them,..........

This is what I would honestly expect a reaction to be.   AND... I think, at its core, why I asked this question.  I will confess, when I see a woman of my own age, or slight older... I see my mom. (so to speak)   But the other side of this is... most of the women I have been introduced to are 8 to 12 years younger, so it hasn't been an issue.  And the other thing I find strange (or unexpected) a few of them were late 30's, and have never been married, and don't have kids.  I was told one was just situational (LTR gone wrong) and the other was VERY career focused. (She is a lawyer)  

 

Now... for full disclosure, my trigger for this thread came from three points.  The first point is a girl I was introduced to who was married, but didn't have any children.  She is late 30's, but her xH was early 50's.  So... she has a history of liking older guys. (Divorced because he had an A) The second point is another girl, who is late 20's, and had a "Final Fling" with a guy who was 48. It was before she got married, but she was engaged at that time. And the final point is, when I was out with friends recently, I was being very flirty with a girl in her late 20's, and she even bought me a drink. (that was kind of nice) Nothing was going to come out of this, because I'm honestly not ready for anything serious (Thought I was, but last week proved me wrong)  But, since I've seen this a bunch of times in my life... I figured I would ask what you all thought about it.

 

Thanks.

Edited January 19, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[elaine567]

33 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

  I will confess, when I see a woman of my own age, or slight older... I see my mom. (so to speak)  

That is because you are stuck in a time warp. Last time you dated, woman looked a certain way and you are still attracted to that same look.
 

[Blind-Sided]

Elaine... you are absolutely right about that.  AND... it's because my ex was 8 years younger.

[elaine567]

Whether that is a problem for you or not time will tell.
Some older men can attract the younger women they actually want and some just can't. Some are just too far out of the game, some are not physically appealing, some are too rigid and stuck in their ways, like older people tend to be...  etc. etc.
In order to get some sort of a decent relationship they may need to re-calibrate their brain to take stock of the time that has gone by and be more realistic as to what is actually possible to achieve...

[gaius]

The vast majority of 20 somethings I see nowadays just come off as really stupid. I watched 5 minutes of siesta key the other day not knowing what it was and I thought TLC had come up with a special ed dating show, but it was just average 20 somethings. The ones I run into in real life don't seem much brighter.

So what do younger women see in older guys? Perhaps not seeming like they have down syndrome? What the older guys or girls see in the 20 somethings is beyond me though. Unless you have a traumatic brain injury fetish.

Edited January 19, 2020 by gaius

[Blind-Sided]

3 minutes ago, gaius said:

The vast majority of 20 somethings I see nowadays just come off as really stupid........... What the older guys or girls see in the 20 somethings is beyond me though. Unless you have a traumatic brain injury fetish.

That's absolutely great!!!! LOL AND... I think you have hit the nail on the head too.

I have a nephew, and a cousin that fall into this age group, and I have watched them over the years.  When my nephew was early 20's... he was an idiot.  He couldn't really take care of him self, and I don't think he had even mowed the grass.  I kept telling my brother that he needed to make some mistakes to learn.  But something happened about a 1-1/2 years ago.  He finished school, found a job in finance, and got married.  All the sudden, he's an "Adult" and not just a dumb kid.   My little cousin on the other hand... he's not dumb, but he's more focused on building his car, and his other hobbies.  He works hard, but has no interest in moving forward with "Life". (in a traditional way) mind you, most of his friends are that way too.  Based on that... I'm guessing this is what some of the late 20's girls see. They want to get married, have a family, and move on... but the guys just want to still be "Kids".   SO... I'm guessing the comments above about the older guys are more stable has something to do with it.

[stillafool]

15 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

I think the better question is what do younger girls see in younger men? Dating a man your own age as a woman is almost always going to result in the woman dating down.

I think it's only natural for young women to want young men and vice versa.  I certainly wouldn't call it dating down to date a hot young man if I am a young woman.  You are only young once and if you don't date young men when you are young when will you get to experience all that goodness?  When you're old and trying to reach back for what you missed?  I would say young people who have to settle for older people are dating down.

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

17 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I think it's only natural for young women to want young men and vice versa.  I certainly wouldn't call it dating down to date a hot young man if I am a young woman.  You are only young once and if you don't date young men when you are young when will you get to experience all that goodness?  When you're old and trying to reach back for what you missed?  I would say young people who have to settle for older people are dating down.

The thing about dating somebody your own age as a woman is that you can't really expect the maturity level to match up; where as you might want a family, most young men cannot afford to have a family.

A well paying career will always be the most appealing aspect of a man, certainly so when you consider the rate of reproduction in first world countries... About 30% of women in any given first world country will have the desire to reproduce... 

Women wanting to date men their own age is simply a function of social status; men are not inclined to date women their own age, because this is a woman who is trying to manage her image and how she is viewed more so than anything else. Dating a woman your own age is exhausting as a man.

[preraph]

Someone 20 years younger ought to look like your daughter and give you that icky feeling.  

[Piddy]

18 hours ago, K.K. said:

In my opinion, being with an older man, can tend to bring up daddy issues that a certain kind of women might have. A damaged woman searching for approval will do very well with a man many years her senior.

For someone my age in their 60's I would think a woman on the pine box side of 40 would work.  Beyond that age gap and the generational divide might be too much.  A damaged woman could find comfort in an older man.  The maturity and more even keeled nature of having more life experience may be appealing also.

Quote

Speaking in terms of the sexual exploration alone, you’d be hard pressed to find better. Being able to give up control so that she is only concentrated on simply pleasing him in any and every way that he needs and requests is- freeing. It lends itself to fantasies of the sicker persuasion that are neither appropriate nor routinely spoken. He takes the lead. He commands respect and she can merely follow along waiting for instruction. Deliciousness if the right person. Not to mention the other part is that he is older, most likely well established and can make her feel protected and safe. No, of course you don’t have to be a damaged woman to appreciate the complexity of the older man. I’m just stating that sometimes that is the case. 

Well, this just sounds fantastic for any aged man, let alone an older man.  

Quote

 

That was talking about the much older man. A man the same age or only a couple of years older is most likely considered the best choice because of both being in the same general mindset in life. In that case, you just pray that you didn’t get a dud in the bedroom, and roll through life together in the same space, at the same time.

 

They'll be more in common culturally being similar in age.  Life expectancy should be a plus also (growing old together).  You can get a dud in bed at any age though.

Quote

Sometimes younger men haven’t gotten to the point of wisdom that an older man has and although quite cute and mighty hard bangers, they simply can be too flighty, too lazy and way too argumentative. Crazymakers of sorts. . I said some. Not all. 

They each have their appeal. 

Yup, many times with age comes wisdom.  The key to maintaining the hard banging into the senior years is having a high testosterone level.😉  Although they have shots for that also if your deficient in that aspect. 

Yup, young people are more apt to be more flighty and irresponsible.  Too lazy and argumentative equals not good.  Crazymakers would be too much drama.  The older man has far less drama.

For many younger women an older mans positives may out weight the negatives.

Edited January 19, 2020 by Piddy

[preraph]

Well, don't forget that young women are also apt to be more flighty and irresponsible, too lazy and argumentative, too much drama.  In fact that's often the case if they're in their 20s and the guy is over 30, even.  

 

 

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

The thing about dating somebody your own age as a woman is that you can't really expect the maturity level to match up; where as you might want a family, most young men cannot afford to have a family.

A well paying career will always be the most appealing aspect of a man, certainly so when you consider the rate of reproduction in first world countries... About 30% of women in any given first world country will have the desire to reproduce... 

Women wanting to date men their own age is simply a function of social status; men are not inclined to date women their own age, because this is a woman who is trying to manage her image and how she is viewed more so than anything else. Dating a woman your own age is exhausting as a man.

Well plenty of young couples are having children, buying homes and creating a good life.  There is nothing wrong with working together to build a life with a partner you love and are attracted to of similar age.  To some women a well paying career is the most appealing aspect of a man.  Unfortunately what I've seen later on with these women is they start to take the material things they once wanted for granted.  Then feel they've missed out on dating men their own age; so they end up cheating with younger men.  The old "pool boy" will be over soon when the old man goes off to work scenario.  I don't think young women are dating men their age is because of a function of social status as much as they are attracted to their looks and personality.  Young women like good looking men too.  I will say to each his own as far as who they decide to marry; but I know where I live and within my family the young ones are dating other young people and that's who is always on their radar.

[preraph]

Men just can't stop hoping this trend of young women dating in their own age range will stop.  😉

[thefooloftheyear]

Its all relative...

You got guys like  Mike O Hearn who is 50 years old and others like him....Then there are "the rest"  of the fat, bald, old fools that think that some younger woman is going to wet herself over his pregnant stomach, jowls, bad knees, missing teeth  etc..

But there are a fair amount of guys now in their later age that look very good for their age...It takes more work than it did 20-30 years ago, but they are out there doing it..

I don't want to just bash the hell out of the youngsters, but Ive heard enough younger women complaining of guys their age being immature, lazy, soft, etc...I think the "hardness" of some of these older dudes gives them a decisive edge....I also think that with more younger women now not aspiring to motherhood and all that entails, it takes that one detail out of the equation...I know several guys my age with women 20+ years their junior and all seem to be standing the test of time...

TFY

[sothereiwas]

26 minutes ago, preraph said:

Well, don't forget that young women are also apt to be more flighty and irresponsible, too lazy and argumentative, too much drama.  In fact that's often the case if they're in their 20s and the guy is over 30, even.  

This is actually the opposite of what I've experienced, but my anecdotes are not data. Neither are yours. My wife and I have known each other for a bit over a decade and it seems to be working out OK. She's as easy to get along with as any woman I've ever known, and she seems to be OK with being with me; she said "I do" and we're still together. When we met I was well over 2x her age, although since the math changes over time, now I'm just a little less than twice her age. 

I've found women my own age completely unsuitable for anything past casual dating, but others probably see things differently. Good for them. 

[stillafool]

I know.  It's okay to want younger women as a older man but to expect all young women to give up young men completely for older men is a bit ridiculous.

Edited January 19, 2020 by stillafool

[ms.stressed]

For me, older guys, or at least men who have old souls or think like older men...have more of a protective instinct.

 

I guess it depends on the personality. I like being directed and feeling protected. Younger men want a best friend... someone who can chill with the guys and be goofy.

 

Older men want someone to worry over and provide for. I like that feeling. I like having someone fuss over me who I can also call my best friend and lover. 

 

That's what did it for me.

 

Me and my friend got high together one day and we both ended up in jail. Lol. It was pretty funny.

Edited January 19, 2020 by ms.stressed