What do younger girls see in older guys?

[fromheart]

7 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said:

EXACTLY !  This is why I started this thread. right or wrong... I would have expected a 20 something to say "Old Geezer" and not continue to contact me after.

Sure.... But, youth brings physical beauty. And when it's just a meet up on a Friday night... that's what catches the eye. (men or women) But with that said... I wouldn't say I was targeting a younger girl. In this case, she came to me.  Truth be told... the thought beforehand would have been me talking with the 38yo all night.

Thats the way it works in my experience.  I don't actually target younger women, and used to date women my own age.  Then younger women started to choose me. 

Possible theories;

-The stigma of dating younger women, is purely coming from older, jealous women.  It is therefore to be ignored.
-Most of the best women are snapped up before 30.  This trend of women wasting their fertile years and then trying to settle down at 30-40 is nonsense, and the source of much misery.  If she's still a sociopath at 30, she's not going to suddenly get better and be motherhood material by 32.   
-Men get a peak from early middle age, IF they work on it.  This is very attractive to women in childbirth years.

Feminism has been important for the development of society.  However, it also gave power to the insecurities of older women.  If I consider why I sometimes hold back from dating a younger woman who blatantly likes me, its due to older women's insecurities.   You also have to consider that the younger women would face bullying by older women, as we can see in the situation you describe. 

The choices of some young women, are quite literally bullied out of them until they become old miseries themselves. 

[stillafool]

I'm just having a hard time believing that older women are going out chanting about old men wanting young women.  Men have been wanting and doing this since the beginning of time and most older women I know don't give a damn unless it is happening in their relationship.   We have male friends who are dating younger women,  one of them has a significant age difference with his gf.  They come over for cookouts and parties, she's very nice,  respectful and helpful.  Yeah, at first everyone was like "whoa" (both men and women) but after meeting her the women didn't treat her differently but were welcoming.  Look, if you guys want younger women just go for it and stop worrying about what others think.   There is no reason to come to a forum and bash older women just because you want younger.  Maybe your time would be better spent out there trying to get the younger woman you want than trying to convince others of your attractiveness.

[preraph]

Their time would be better spent getting a second job so they could afford to buy the younger women.

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, preraph said:

Their time would be better spent getting a second job so they could afford to buy the younger women.

LOL,  definitely this^ cause you're going to need it.

[gaius]

The only older guy / younger woman couple I've witnessed in real life (that I took notice of) was when I went to visit my mother in the eating disorder wing in the hospital. There was a young girl with a tube up her nose who had anorexia talking to a guy who I thought was her grandpa or dad at the table near us. Until he started rubbing her leg in a sexual manner. What an accomplished stud he was, bagging a younger woman.

Not that every relationship is dysfunctional like that, but acting like you're hot stuff because you're eligible for social security and dating a younger woman is like walking around with a cracker jack power ring and pretending you're really a superhero. And being delusional about how appealing you are just makes it 10x worse.

[Daisydooks]

On 1/18/2020 at 4:26 PM, Blind-Sided said:

Hi All,

This is, more or less, a general question, and age gap in dating.  I know people say "Half plus seven"... or something like that. But something has been coming to mind lately, and that's where you see a younger woman with and older guy.  Lets say... a 20 year spread.   Even I, at one time thought that was strange... but now, maybe not so much.  ok, I'm 47 and needless to say, established in my life. If I was to find a girl who was 27... how bad would that be? If she was done with her education, and had a career started... basically we would be in the same stage in life.

 

The second part of this is... we all know this happens... but truly... what does a young girl see in an older guy? (assuming not a sugar-daddy)

 

I would love to hear the female side of this.

Thanks.

Had I met my fiance when he was in his twenties, we would probably not be together LOL. He partied far too much, lived with his parents, dated around and financially he was a moron who for himself into silly debt because he spent more than he made. He had trouble sticking to one female and seem to always be on the hunt for the next best woman. All self-proclaimed. LOL. By the time he was 35, he had his head on straight, did not drink to excess, had lived alone for a number of years and had better control of his spending, but he also wanted to settle down with one woman and have a family. He valued stability much more as he aged and I found that attractive. We do not have a 20 year age Gap as you have described but he is 6 years older than me. I moved out at 21, went to school and worked and was independent. He would have been the opposite of what I wanted had we been the same age. At 27, 47 would have been way too old but I truly believe that depends on the people in the relationship. It does not affect me one bit so if it works for someone, I am all for it. The generational age Gap would have been far too great for me at that age mind you. So there was a happy medium with finding someone just a little older when I was pushing 30 myself. My best friend is my age (35) and her boyfriend is 47. It works for them, but instead of talking about more kids, they have adopted puppies and are awaiting grandchildren. While she would love to give her 11 year old daughter a sister or brother, being with someone who is 47 has opened her eyes to that being somewhat unreasonable for this relationship. I'm sure if they tried, she could get pregnant, but he does not want to bring a child into the world at almost 50. His kids are 25 and 23. Her daughter is 11. Hope my answer helps, although I'm not in a relationship with someone with this age gap

[stillafool]

When I was young a friend of mine broke up with her bf who was abusive and financially strapped.  In steps an older man who wanted her because she was 24.  He set her up in an apartment, bought her all new furniture for it and took over her car payments.  After 2 months of living in her beautiful apartment, going on shopping sprees, and fancy dinners, she ended up with her ex in the new bed her older man bought for her.  He found out and wanted to kill her and the ex bf.  She had to hide at my place until he calmed down.  This is something that older men/older women have to worry about when dating someone with an extreme age difference.  Most healthy young people are going to desire their own age group at some point.   I don't think 6-8 years is a big age difference.

[stillafool]

TBH, young love is blind.  You are so caught up in the passion and love you would literally walk through hot coals with that person.  You both are young and strong, ready to take on the world for your love.  Young love is exciting.  When you're 60 all that is way behind you and your thought pattern in regards to security is at the forefront of your mind.  Completely different.

[jeff0011]

5 minutes ago, stillafool said:

TBH, young love is blind.  You are so caught up in the passion and love you would literally walk through hot coals with that person.  You both are young and strong, ready to take on the world for your love.  Young love is exciting.  When you're 60 all that is way behind you and your thought pattern in regards to security is at the forefront of your mind.  Completely different.

Even in high school the kid with the nice car got more girls lol. And of course young women want a guy that has money.  if they didn't millions wouldn't be on sugar daddy sites. 

[stillafool]

In HS the kid with the nice car is a young man also.  Probably a hot young man.

[sothereiwas]

This discussion amuses me. So much anger evident just barely under the surface. My wife is over 20 years my junior, we have a kid and live a relatively good life. We get the evil eye from a few older ladies, not everyone by any stretch. Most people are decent nice people, nothing to report. We live in a normal house in a normal town. We save an atypically large amount of money and have slightly lower than typical debt, but other than that we're not abnormal really. 

On topic, science says both men and women do factor in age and beauty when evaluating a potential mate, but that statistically (look it up if you don't understand what this means) women factor in other factors such as affluence, intelligence, and so on whereas men don't care nearly as much about other factors. There are decent theories based on game theory and evolution that claim to explain this, but in the end it is what it is. Having said that, most pairings do tend to be within 5 or 10 years of each other, and extreme spreads are not rare but also not common. 

People are if nothing else, individuals, and therefore each person will have their own preferences, and trying to predict individual results based on group statistics is a fool's errand. 

[sothereiwas]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Probably a hot young man.

What about having the nice car makes him hot?

[stillafool]

I'm just thinking back to my HS days and the guys with the mustangs and vets were usually hot or they were to me.  One thing is for sure they were around my age.

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, sothereiwas said:

What about having the nice car makes him hot?

His looks.

[mark clemson]

Just to be clear, participating on a Sugardaddy site does NOT necessarily mean they are looking for an older man to settle down with. It can simply be extra cash or some nice "life experiences". They might strongly prefer, in many cases, a rich guy their own age if one's available. They may have no intention of marrying ANY older man they meet on those sites.

The idea that all these women are chasing after older men like nuggets of gold doesn't jibe with the statistic that around 75% of couples are within +/- 5 years of their own age.

[jeff0011]

4 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I'm just thinking back to my HS days and the guys with the mustangs and vets were usually hot or they were to me.  One thing is for sure they were around my age.

Pretty much made my point for me.  

[jeff0011]

2 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Just to be clear, participating on a Sugardaddy site does NOT necessarily mean they are looking for an older man to settle down with. It can simply be extra cash or some nice "life experiences". They might strongly prefer, in many cases, a rich guy their own age if one's available. They may have no intention of marrying ANY older man they meet on those sites.

The idea that all these women are chasing after older men like nuggets of gold doesn't jibe with the statistic that around 75% of couples are within +/- 5 years of their own age.

Of course.  Most older men are married or out of the game. 
the available ones are sought after. 

[mark clemson]

2 minutes ago, jeff0011 said:

Of course.  Most older men are married or out of the game. 
the available ones are sought after. 

Hmm. OK, but that doesn't mean that IF they WERE in the game, younger women would be after them.  Perhaps the ones that are wealthy or have high status and/or very well preserved looks and social skills would be sought after.  But plenty would be passed over if they have none of those things.

If that's all you've been saying then we're in agreement.

[jeff0011]

1 minute ago, mark clemson said:

Hmm. OK, but that doesn't mean that IF they WERE in the game, younger women would be after them.  Perhaps the ones that are wealthy or have high status and/or very well preserved looks and social skills would be sought after.  But plenty would be passed over if they have none of those things.

If that's all you've been saying then we're in agreement.

Men of all ages are always passed over.  They don’t get every woman they ask out.  

it’s not like if a 25 yr old guy asks out a 25 yr old girl they are in bed the next day.  You know this. 
 

he can be not her type. To short.  Too tall. Not good looking enough. Crappy car. Not smart enough. Millions of reasons 
 

[mark clemson]

Ok. Your posts above were making it sound like you thought just by virtue of being old a man was sought after. But of course that's ridiculous in most cases. Just like a younger guy he has to "have a lot going for him" etc. Makes sense.

[jeff0011]

Just now, mark clemson said:

Ok. Your posts above were making it sound like you thought just by virtue of being old a man was sought after. But of course that's ridiculous in most cases. Just like a younger guy he has to "have a lot going for him" etc. Makes sense.

Yes.  No man gets every woman.  I personally find it easier now.  

[stillafool]

17 minutes ago, jeff0011 said:

Pretty much made my point for me.  

How did I make your point?  I was a young HS girl dating a young, HS boy with a hot car.  He wasn't the only hot guy in HS that I dated and some didn't even have their own car they used their Dads to pick me up.

[sothereiwas]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

I'm just thinking back to my HS days and the guys with the mustangs and vets were usually hot or they were to me. 

Exactly. Turns out that, like you, a lot of women factor things like affluence into their judgement without even realising it. 

[stillafool]

Just now, sothereiwas said:

Exactly. Turns out that, like you, a lot of women factor things like affluence into their judgement without even realising it. 

You obviously didn't read the rest of my posts.  I also said I dated hot guys in HS that didn't even have a car.

[sothereiwas]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You obviously didn't read the rest of my posts.  I also said I dated hot guys in HS that didn't even have a car.

Factor in means there are going to also be other factors. Science says we're not even necessarily consciously aware of how they steer our decision making boat, but the outcomes can be and have been quantified. This beneath the surface influence is likely why some people will argue so vehemently against their being influenced by the things research says people are influenced by. 

Wait a second ....

How about that.