What do younger girls see in older guys?

[basil67]

2 minutes ago, GingerGal said:

🤣 Working in law enforcement I've met 20 year olds that have MORE life experience than 50 year olds , 60 year olds or even 70 year olds depending on their upbringing, cause of the crappy lifestyle they led thanks to useless parents who in reality should've been sterilized years prior to having kids. It depends on how one defines life experience.

A sheltered 30-year-old which is all around a child does NOT have any life experience compared to a 34 year old who has raised themselves since 15 either. 

A friend's a prime example. 32 & he's more likely to burn his house down starting the stove or boil his hand cooking pasta, can't find the washer fluid in his car with a guideline, and when living in an apartment wanted the landlord to change the light bulb in his unit - really life experienced individual here all cause his mama treated him like he was made of glass. 

 

And I see you conventionally miss the points. Btw basil67 not every 55 year old is a predator seeking some dimwitted 22 year old. It happens in EVERY age bracket. Google it. Plenty of 22-32 year olds being abused & manipulated by their predatory 30-40 something another boyfriends.  It's outright simply offensive to imply both older men & younger women are nothing more than predators & stupid. 

Ginger Gal, you've conveniently missed everything I just wrote.

I said I would not be OK with my child marrying a adult who has no life skills.  I specifically said that I would be OK with a mismatched age couple where she's got her life together.   And of that poor 20yo, how much of her life skills translate to being able to work, provide for and raise a well balanced child?  

[GingerGal]

 

6 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Ginger Gal, you've conveniently missed everything I just wrote.

I said I would not be OK with my child marrying a adult who has no life skills.  I specifically said that I would be OK with a mismatched age couple where she's got her life together.   And of that poor 20yo, how much of her life skills translate to being able to work, provide for and raise a well balanced child?  

No. I didn't miss everything you wrote. You have a bit of a hangup with that one guy as if it's the normality. It's like saying all 33 year old men are careless speed-demons because someone here admits to going 140 in an 80 zone. 

You missed the point that his ideology isn't anything unique to his age. Countless girls ditch their lives for similarly aged men. Cause countless girls are manipulated & abused & isolated by similarly aged men. Countless girls raise dysfunctional kids in dysfunctional families with similarly aged men. 

 

[GingerGal]

41 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Ginger Gal, you've conveniently missed everything I just wrote.

I said I would not be OK with my child marrying a adult who has no life skills.  I specifically said that I would be OK with a mismatched age couple where she's got her life together.   And of that poor 20yo, how much of her life skills translate to being able to work, provide for and raise a well balanced child?  

Where I live & work now as ex-law reinforcement basil there's a bit of a discrepancy between actual men, boy-men, and women. A number of women partner off with older men. It's no surprise when you, or any of the others spouting about bad evil old men, consider the average girl matures mentally faster than the average guy. 

And I'm gonna broach your 22 year old stupid girls & 55 year old predatory men with a situation you probably won't like. A friend of mine was 21 when she married a guy 54. Neither of them have any real education. They do well enough. Better than some who have educations actually due to the fields taken to. Does that stop them from having a healthy loving relationship? No. He treats her like a queen. 

Like I said above just because someone on this forum is a seeming sexual deviant doesn't mean everyone is. 

Edited January 23, 2020 by GingerGal

[basil67]

Yes, I've got a hangup with the scenario where a woman is valued because she has no education.  Thankfully, it's rare.   I don't have a hangup in all the scenarios where the couple is equally yoked in terms of maturity.   As I said earlier, it's situational.   That said, I wouldn't be an old mother, nor would I have children with an old father.  That's not judgement of those who do it, just personal choice.

I have never suggested that the abusive dynamic is unique to a man's age.  Yes, I have focused on older men because the thread is about older men.   If the thread had been broadly about dysfunction, age wouldn't have come into it.

[Tristian]

Folks it appears the original topic has been lost so I'm going to shut this down while i remove a few pages of bickering and find where we took a wrong turn.

If the OP would like to continue the discussion please send an alert on this post and we'll consider reopening after a cool down period.

**ETA** by Robert

Thread re-opened by thread starter request.

Let the on topic posting commence

Edited January 23, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[GingerGal]

On 1/18/2020 at 4:26 PM, Blind-Sided said:

Hi All,

This is, more or less, a general question, and age gap in dating.  I know people say "Half plus seven"... or something like that. But something has been coming to mind lately, and that's where you see a younger woman with and older guy.  Lets say... a 20 year spread.   Even I, at one time thought that was strange... but now, maybe not so much.  ok, I'm 47 and needless to say, established in my life. If I was to find a girl who was 27... how bad would that be? If she was done with her education, and had a career started... basically we would be in the same stage in life.

 

The second part of this is... we all know this happens... but truly... what does a young girl see in an older guy? (assuming not a sugar-daddy)

 

I would love to hear the female side of this.

Thanks.

This is extremely varied, I hope you know, no different than asking what does any girl see in any guy besides the simplicity of sex. No two people have the same desires or criteria. If they did men & women alike wouldn't be constantly commenting/complaining about how hard it is to find someone. 

 

So as someone whose only dated older men, I'm gonna take a "stab" at this for why. 

Now - https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000492864420/265788b72a5cbaa6ce41b4619113e176.jpeg change her hair to cinnamon/ginger reddish curls & reduce the makeup as I rarely use it (and certainly not that much) and you'd have me as the features & eye color are very similar - so it's easy to say I'd strike most guys as attractive. As many know the more attractive one is, the more attention you're bound to get from the opposite sex. A lot of people (man or woman) find this a compliment. I don't. I've far more than enough self confidence to not really care what others think of my looks. 

Besides I grew up in a Catholic Irish family with a grandmother that saw anyone having sex outside of a committed relationship (e.g. marriage, engagement, etc.) as dirty sinners. Loved her to death but she was one extremely tough woman (raised herself & 2 siblings more or less by herself through WWI due to a dead father & a mother turned drunk and 3 kids through pre/post WWII by herself after her husband died in the war) who probably had the "balls" to chase God himself out of the house if he brought an unmarried girl to stay at the place. 

This background didn't hamper my growing up like it does in sheltered religious families. My parents have been to 29 countries between them so between the wide palate raised on (from Russian to Japanese to Moroccan, etc. cuisine) with many of their associates/friends from different cultures (/and why my friends are diverse) & spending the early years intercity you can't exactly say I was raised naive & sheltered.  Besides I am, by nature, a very curious & rather intelligent individual who is extremely self confident & very sociable.

So why the interest in older men?

Because when I started considering dating - as said / indicated above I am good looking - a lot of boys and later even men in university closer to my age sort of saw me as "bragging rights". They got the "hot chick" in school. The girl a lot of other guys have their eyes on. It didn't matter I didn't by any stretch sleep around (I'll be honest, virgin till 28) this "another notch on the belt" mentality was a persistent & aggravating displeasure to someone raised as I was. Sex, sex, sex no real interest in getting to know myself. 

It wasn't all guys, I'll give you that, but it was enough to turn me off men closer to my age. 

With the older men I've dated at least there's some form of respect. The 1st guy (45/28) at least treated me like an actual woman not some "piece of meat" that he could run off & brag to his friends about "bagging". Did he. He might of. But he had far more class than to make it obvious as many 20/30 years can't grasp. 

The last guy, before the one I posted about who befuddled me with his too-forward actions & then apology (as I said in that post most of my association with womanizer's/players is through peers & similarly aged men who mostly shrug their shoulders & move on, they often don't go out of their way to apologize for perceived insult like he did), was 58. I'm 32. That's one hell of a gap. Conversions were wide & varied, ranging from politics (without the more typical name/ism flinging & tantrum throwing of my generational bracket when someone brings up a political topic they disagree with rather than intellectually discuss things) to careers, etc., long before it progressed into sexual. 

Simulating my brain works far more than some hormone-driven douche whose mentality is more - me hot, hot chick = we have sex.

The guy I made a post about here isn't terrible looking for his age & he's reasonably off. If all I was interested in was sex & money & status - as many implied that's the thing to young girls & old men - I wouldn't have told him off/no just told him to tone it down in relation to flirting that was far too forward towards the end when the conversation, as a whole, was hardly offensive.

 

 

[GingerGal]

On 1/18/2020 at 4:26 PM, Blind-Sided said:

Hi All,

This is, more or less, a general question, and age gap in dating.  I know people say "Half plus seven"... or something like that. But something has been coming to mind lately, and that's where you see a younger woman with and older guy.  Lets say... a 20 year spread.   Even I, at one time thought that was strange... but now, maybe not so much.  ok, I'm 47 and needless to say, established in my life. If I was to find a girl who was 27... how bad would that be? If she was done with her education, and had a career started... basically we would be in the same stage in life.

 

The second part of this is... we all know this happens... but truly... what does a young girl see in an older guy? (assuming not a sugar-daddy)

 

I would love to hear the female side of this.

Thanks.

This is extremely varied, I hope you know, no different than asking what does any girl see in any guy besides the simplicity of sex. No two people have the same desires or criteria. If they did men & women alike wouldn't be constantly commenting/complaining about how hard it is to find someone. 

 

So as someone whose only dated older men, I'm gonna take a "stab" at this for why. 

Now - https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000492864420/265788b72a5cbaa6ce41b4619113e176.jpeg change her hair to cinnamon/ginger reddish curls & reduce the makeup as I rarely use it (and certainly not that much) and you'd have me as the features & eye color are very similar - so it's easy to say I'd strike most guys as attractive. As many know the more attractive one is, the more attention you're bound to get from the opposite sex. A lot of people (man or woman) find this a compliment. I don't. I've far more than enough self confidence to not really care what others think of my looks. 

Besides I grew up in a Catholic Irish family with a grandmother that saw anyone having sex outside of a committed relationship (e.g. marriage, engagement, etc.) as dirty sinners. Loved her to death but she was one extremely tough woman (raised herself & 2 siblings more or less by herself through WWI due to a dead father & a mother turned drunk and 3 kids through pre/post WWII by herself after her husband died in the war) who probably had the "balls" to chase God himself out of the house if he brought an unmarried girl to stay at the place. 

This background didn't hamper my growing up like it does in sheltered religious families. My parents have been to 29 countries between them so between the wide palate raised on (from Russian to Japanese to Moroccan, etc. cuisine) with many of their associates/friends from different cultures (/and why my friends are diverse) & spending the early years intercity you can't exactly say I was raised naive & sheltered.  Besides I am, by nature, a very curious & rather intelligent individual who is extremely self confident & very sociable.

So why the interest in older men?

Because when I started considering dating - as said / indicated above I am good looking - a lot of boys and later even men in university closer to my age sort of saw me as "bragging rights". They got the "hot chick" in school. The girl a lot of other guys have their eyes on. It didn't matter I didn't by any stretch sleep around (I'll be honest, virgin till 28) this "another notch on the belt" mentality was a persistent & aggravating displeasure to someone raised as I was. Sex, sex, sex no real interest in getting to know myself. 

It wasn't all guys, I'll give you that, but it was enough to turn me off men closer to my age. 

With the older men I've dated at least there's some form of respect. The 1st guy (45/28) at least treated me like an actual woman not some "piece of meat" that he could run off & brag to his friends about "bagging". Did he. He might of. But he had far more class than to make it obvious as many 20/30 years can't grasp. 

The last guy, before the one I posted about who befuddled me with his too-forward actions & then apology (as I said in that post most of my association with womanizer's/players is through peers & similarly aged men who mostly shrug their shoulders & move on, they often don't go out of their way to apologize for perceived insult like he did), was 58. I'm 32. That's one hell of a gap. Conversions were wide & varied, ranging from politics (without the more typical name/ism flinging & tantrum throwing of my generational bracket when someone brings up a political topic they disagree with rather than intellectually discuss things) to careers, etc., long before it progressed into sexual. 

Simulating my brain works far more than some hormone-driven douche whose mentality is more - me hot, hot chick = we have sex.

The guy I made a post about here isn't terrible looking for his age & he's reasonably off. If all I was interested in was sex & money & status - as many implied that's the thing to young girls & old men - I wouldn't have told him off/no just told him to tone it down in relation to flirting that was far too forward towards the end when the conversation, as a whole, was hardly offensive.

[PrimalInstinct]

I'm a good looking 30-year-old woman. I always get compliments on my looks. Even if I literally go out looking as if I just rolled out of bed - hair everywhere - I still get compliments. 

 

There's a trend on my social media.

One that's resulted in 68 blocked people in the last 3 months. Predominantly guys (friends of friends, acquaintances, even close enough to strangers) my age or younger contacting me, starting a hi-how-you-doing conversation, and then sort of "expecting" things or fishing for availability for lack of better terms. Tonight one even went so far as to ask for "Can I see a picture of all of u". 

On my social media I have very few personal pictures that aren't active (horseback riding, etc.) Most are scenery, relatives, pets. Anyway all of these photos are me well covered up. There's nothing revealing. Nothing to imply I'd be interested in hooking up with random guys, have risque photos to show, or even be of the mindset to show any revealing photos.

And this is just on my social media. 

I've yet to encounter this amount of blatant disrespect with the older guys - such as my boyfriend (12 years) - I've day to day interactions with in real life or through social media given how a number of acquaintances are older (it's just the name of the field). Most older available guys are very respectful. Never had to tell one off. One could even say they know how to treat a good, classy, etc. (all of which by the level of respect I get by men & women I am) woman well. 

[Gold Pile]

On 1/18/2020 at 6:14 PM, K.K. said:

In my opinion, being with an older man, can tend to bring up daddy issues that a certain kind of women might have. A damaged woman searching for approval will do very well with a man many years her senior. Speaking in terms of the sexual exploration alone, you’d be hard pressed to find better. Being able to give up control so that she is only concentrated on simply pleasing him in any and every way that he needs and requests is- freeing. It lends itself to fantasies of the sicker persuasion that are neither appropriate nor routinely spoken. He takes the lead. He commands respect and she can merely follow along waiting for instruction. Deliciousness if the right person. Not to mention the other part is that he is older, most likely well established and can make her feel protected and safe. No, of course you don’t have to be a damaged woman to appreciate the complexity of the older man. I’m just stating that sometimes that is the case. 

 

That was talking about the much older man. A man the same age or only a couple of years older is most likely considered the best choice because of both being in the same general mindset in life. In that case, you just pray that you didn’t get a dud in the bedroom, and roll through life together in the same space, at the same time. 

 

Sometimes younger men haven’t gotten to the point of wisdom that an older man has and although quite cute and mighty hard bangers, they simply can be too flighty, too lazy and way too argumentative. Crazymakers of sorts. . I said some. Not all. 

 

They each have their appeal. 

KK, I'm impressed with your intelligent thoughts on this subject. Not to mention your delicate wording.

[Gold Pile]

Very often what younger women see in an older man, is Gold Pile trying to have fun. Of course older women often find Gold Pile expressing an interest as well.

A decent older man offers emotional stability, security, and the knowledge of how to deal with anything that life throws her way. As a complex young woman she will sometimes lash out. An older man understands (better than a younger man) this and doesn't react negatively. 

Edited January 27, 2020 by Gold Pile

[K.K.]

3 minutes ago, Gold Pile said:

KK, I'm impressed with your intelligent thoughts on this subject. Not to mention your delicate wording.

Oh yea, I remember that. I was hornier than a yard full of dogs in heat that day. 

But thanks! 😬