major_merrick Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 What is attractive in a young woman (cute, clueless, poor, sex-driven) is not attractive in a guy. So women are drawn to men with experience, stability, and resources. Even though my husband is my age, he has some of the attributes of an older man. Stability, income, wisdom, etc... But his parents are also a generation older than mine and just because of that he acts a bit older. Yet he's still young enough to have the energy and charisma of a younger person. I guess in a way, I get the best of both worlds? Of course, it isn't just about men. Younger women are often attracted to older women, and probably for the same reason. Somehow even though I'm in my 30's and definitely have that "mother" look, its like I'm candy to the younger girls. And remembering when I was younger, I often wanted older girlfriends who had jobs and could take care of me a bit. In the end, we all want a nice safe comfy place to curl up at night. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) I'm 67 now, and I've only known one woman who liked older guys, and she had a plethora of mental illnesses. I'm not saying that to be snarky. She's literally the only woman I ever heard who went after old guys. I used to think there was another one, very attractive woman in my office, but then she let me know she and her sister were call girls. It's not a "thing." Edited January 20, 2020 by preraph 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 13 minutes ago, stillafool said: This is all so interesting but I'm wondering - what do people expect younger men to do if they think all young women should be with older men? Just dry up and die? I used to wonder this myself when I was a younger man being completely ignored by all women. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 When have young men ever had it tough to find women to sleep with? Some young men have it tough, yes but not most young men... Young women rarely want older guys, why would they? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jeff0011 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 3 minutes ago, preraph said: I'm 67 now, and I've only known one woman who liked older guys, and she had a plethora of mental illnesses. I'm not saying that to be snarky. She's literally the only woman I ever heard who went after old guys. I used to think there was another one, very attractive woman in my office, but then she let me know she and her sister were call girls. It's not a "thing." You have had different experiences.. Its pretty common. maybe not 25 years. But 10 to 15 is normal. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 It's not common when the women are in their 20s. It's more common after the women are up in their 30s, because then the maturity levels are comparable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jeff0011 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: When have young men ever had it tough to find women to sleep with? Some young men have it tough, yes but not most young men... Young women rarely want older guys, why would they? A. When in high school the senior girls like college guys. The girls who like you are illegal to touch. b. When in college the college girls like guys with cars, careers, money etc. c. After college, the women like older guys again. instead of a relationship with a broke college grad. I am thinking e are talking about relationships. And not just drunken party sex with party girls. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 8 minutes ago, elaine567 said: When have young men ever had it tough to find women to sleep with? Some young men have it tough, yes but not most young men... Young women rarely want older guys, why would they? I completely agree with you but apparently older men don't feel this way. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff0011 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) 12 minutes ago, elaine567 said: When have young men ever had it tough to find women to sleep with? Some young men have it tough, yes but not most young men... Young women rarely want older guys, why would they? It might be hard to believe, but some women are careful whom they sleep with and look for certain qualities. Someone they actually want to date and marry. I also think younger women don't admit to friends it as it might make them look like gold diggers. Edited January 20, 2020 by jeff0011 Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 Michael Cain, almost 40. Clearly in the advance stages of dementia.https://spectatorau.imgix.net/content/uploads/2017/11/michaelcaine.jpg?auto=compress,enhance,format&crop=faces,entropy,edges&fit=crop&w=730&h=486 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 5 minutes ago, elaine567 said: When have young men ever had it tough to find women to sleep with? I did fine....but I can tell you with 100% certainty that there were guys in my group(more than just a few) back then that couldn't get laid in a whorehouse on dollar night...And these are guys that now, some of them millionaiores, happily married. etc and wouldn't give the time of day to those same women that knocked their dicks in back in the day.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 Kitty, trust me, there were plenty of "overgrown children" from my generation too! But to a 20-something woman, guys over 30 seemed too old and boring. I guess it depends on the crowd. Mine certainly wasn't a church crowd! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 23 minutes ago, major_merrick said: Younger women are often attracted to older women, and probably for the same reason. Somehow even though I'm in my 30's and definitely have that "mother" look, its like I'm candy to the younger girls. And remembering when I was younger, I often wanted older girlfriends who had jobs and could take care of me a bit. It's interesting that we see this in some lesbian relationships too, not just hetero as you point out. For example actress Sarah Paulson apparently goes for older women. Attraction is in the mind of the beholder... Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 17 hours ago, MsJayne said: At the other end of that equation is that the middle-aged man likes a younger woman because basically he's a sexist dimwit and he wants a woman he can feel superior to, someone who'll go along with it when he starts big-noting himself, someone who has a lot less life experience and so is easily impressed. Ms. Jayne I actually think the younger woman is superior to the older man. Her youth trumps it all. That's why he'd literally do anything to have and keep her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: .And these are guys that now, some of them millionaiores, happily married. etc and wouldn't give the time of day to those same women that knocked their dicks in back in the day.. Ok but can you really blame anyone for just not being attracted? Girls for some reason didn't find those guys attractive back in the day. What were they supposed to do, date them anyway? Edited January 20, 2020 by elaine567 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: Ms. Jayne I actually think the younger woman is superior to the older man. Her youth trumps it all. That's why he'd literally do anything to have and keep her. depends on how old he is, or how he looks at himself, i think. honestly, younger women are nice to look at... but many times, though not always... when they open their minds... it isn't so... in depth.. or thoughtful.... does that make sense? i don't know how to describe it.... it isn't as interesting? Edited January 20, 2020 by 2BGoodAgain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 1 minute ago, mark clemson said: It's interesting that we see this in some lesbian relationships too, not just hetero as you point out. For example actress Sarah Paulson apparently goes for older women. Attraction is in the mind of the beholder... It's the same with Gay men they want the young ones and do everything to stay fit and young looking to attract them. Basically it's the same with everyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FoxMarble Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) Really it depends on the woman. Some do it because they had no real male role model. Some for the perceived stability. Others, like myself, because they find men our ages more like children who cry or throw tantrums when things don't go their ways. The mollycoddling & pampering by their parents has taught them pretty much nothing about being responsible adults. It's the exact same reason why serious/professional employers would rather have a hole in the head than hire them. And it's the exact same reason why Millennials are the biggest liars about experience on their resumes. No real sense of responsibility. No real sense of accountability. Mama & papa dealt with the meanies (teachers, etc. trying for some discipline) & wiped their noses for them too growing up. With financial stability of a government job/owning a 500k house without mortgage & having an excellent rapport with my father it's not like I need the stability or some psudeo father figure. Personally being well educated, traveled & with some unique job experiences - it's why at 28 colleagues, more or less strangers outside of work, were telling me to write a biography & these were traveled individuals who had worked with homeless & drug addicts & prostitutes in the city streets, etc. so it's not like they themselves didn't have stories to tell - I find the average man around my age (30s) as boring as watching paint dry on a rainy day. The exception to that is as mentioned religious communities, structured backgrounds (e.g. military), or childhoods with absentee parents (e.g. a friend & his construction business, father was in & out of jail & mother was an addict) where they had to grew up, or parents that actually taught discipline, responsibility, etc. & expected grown ups at the end of the rainbow not 6'0" toddlers. Seriously if I wanted a child that I didn't personally give birth to I'd foster one or adopt a puppy either would be easier and more satisfying to house, feed, etc. as they don't have years upon years of getting away with annoying behaviors under their belts. And unlike the so-called adult men in that general age bracket neither the young child or puppy should be capable of looking after themselves not be too spoiled & lazy to do it. Edited January 20, 2020 by FoxMarble Link to post Share on other sites
jeff0011 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) I would say this... Let's say there is an absolutely stunning 25,26,27,28 year old woman. Now who is she trying to attract , and what group is she trying to reach through her social media? Etc a. Hot 18 year old college freshman guys? b. Guys her own age who, have debt and are just starting out? c Guys 35 to 45 who have money, boats, cars, etc. obviously C. Edited January 20, 2020 by jeff0011 Link to post Share on other sites
fromheart Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 4 hours ago, thefooloftheyear said: If you approach it from the other direction, you also see why this sometimes happens...Lets say you are an older guy that has many physical traits of much younger men..General fitness/appearance,, activity level, interests, etc.. If these guys are out there looking, there would be very few women interested in wanting any part of it...They may like it from an aesthetic standpoint, but wont feel very good about themselves if they aren't on the same level physically/athletically.....Most will naturally want to gravitate towards the guy that leads a more relaxed life, instead of the guy that is always on the go and doing activities that guys much younger are prone to do..... Going to have to respectfully disagree. The young women love the fact that I'm athletic and active. A slim body and toned physique is something very rare nowadays. Have a look at the average young man, most of them are fat and unhealthy. Men's health and intelligence nowadays is generally pathetic. If you start looking after your mind and body at any age, your already a very rare and interesting individual. Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) 5 minutes ago, jeff0011 said: I would say this... Let's say there is an absolutely stunning 25,26,27,28 year old woman. Now who is she trying to attract , and what group is she trying to reach through her social media? Etc a. Hot 18 year old college freshman guys? b. Guys her own age who want , have debt and are just starting out? c Guys 35 to 45 who have money, boats, cars, etc. obviously C. who have YOU been dating??? lol.... though, i can't disagree they don't exist... But i usually find women look for whatever it is they think they need, at the time.... sometimes, it's financial security(looks good on paper) b/c they may have known nothing but poverty or guys with no money, for a while, or the last relationship... or they've had the money, but not looking for the love.... or they had the love, now they just want the sex... (shrug)... this applies to guys too.... people want what they don't usually have... and think it's what they want forever... but it usually isn't... eventually, if that's the only reason they get into a more long term relationship(marriage/bf/gf)... it won't last long, or dies a long lingering relationship death...sometimes thru affairs, etc... but it's okay, if that's how they met/connected, too.. people change, relationships change, you grow or you bust.... Edited January 20, 2020 by 2BGoodAgain Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 4 minutes ago, jeff0011 said: I would say this... Let's say there is an absolutely stunning 25,26,27,28 year old woman. Now who is she trying to attract , and what group is she trying to reach through her social media? Etc a. Hot 18 year old college freshman guys? b. Guys her own age who, have debt and are just starting out? c Guys 35 to 45 who have money, boats, cars, etc. obviously C. How about the absolutely stunning 18,19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24 year old, what is she looking for? The age you mentioned late 20s, are the ages when women start looking to settle down. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 6 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Ok but can you really blame anyone for just not being attracted? Girls for some reason didn't find those guys attractive back in the day. What were they supposed to do, date them anyway? No, of course not.... It is odd though how all of a sudden, once they(these guys) got a bit older and got their life and career going, those seemingly same women had all of a sudden woke up and saw these guys as attractive and dateable...All the while they had to watch other guys score women left and right, despite the fact that they really didn't have anything more going for them in the looks department, maybe just more "cool" or had more swagger... You can understand the frustration they had.. TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 49 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Maybe step up their game a bit?? TFY And if not the whole generation of young men should be left without a woman because women in their age group belong to older men? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 13 minutes ago, FoxMarble said: Really it depends on the woman. Some do it because they had no real male role model. Some for the perceived stability This was it for me. I had such a strong father, older brothers and being the only girl; the last thing I wanted or needed was an older man. Link to post Share on other sites
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