wjen Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Me and my partner met in college (10 yrs ago) and in our group of friends there was one girl who I did not like from day 1. Until this day, I do not like her personality, her aura and the energy she gives out. My partner on the other hand considers her to be one of his close friends. Whilst I do not mind them being friends (and have never asked him to stop talking to her) I do not want her to be involved in family activities or any other events that concern me (Christmas Parties, Birthdays etc). My partner is now claiming that I am being completely unreasonably and that I should get over it. How can I explain to him I do not want her in my life.
Mysterio Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 Experiment and do a social event one time to see hoe things are between you and your SO female friend. That way you can gage that the current vibe is negative or not. By the way what do you see that your SO does not?
basil67 Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 This is a fairly extreme stance you're taking. What does she do which upsets you so much? Do others in the group find her as offensive as you do? 2
ExpatInItaly Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 7 hours ago, wjen said: How can I explain to him I do not want her in my life. You already have, by the sounds of it. He just doesn't agree with you. What does she do that you take issue with, exactly? Is she inappropriate with your boyfriend, or vice versa?
d0nnivain Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 If she's part of the social group & you host a party, it's going to be hard to exclude her. As long as you are not being thrown together with her routinely can you find it in your heart to suck it up 2-3 times per year? I mean if you really don't want her in your house, your guy needs to respect that but unless it's more then she's not your cup of tea, try to rise above it & be gracious. You don't have to be friends. You simply keep the peace, smile banally & don't interact with her. 2
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 How long have you guys been together for? The full 10 years? Have you just tolerated her for all these years or what?
preraph Posted January 19, 2020 Posted January 19, 2020 I don't see why she'd need to be part of, for example, family holidays, but certainly any general parties, she should be included. You haven't said what it is about her that she does that you don't like.
JTSW Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) What I'm picking up on here OP is allot of jealousy from you (hence this sub-forum). I'm guessing she is popular in the group, also very attractive and pretty popular with the guys. This makes you feel intimidated and threatened. You are worried your bf will become attracted to her so you want to eliminate her from every part of your lives. Edited January 20, 2020 by JTSW
smackie9 Posted January 20, 2020 Posted January 20, 2020 10 years ago you should have realized she is part of the package deal and should have been a deal breaker for you. They have been friends for many years, and making him kick her to the curb is unreasonable unless she is a bad person causing all sorts of drama in your life...but to just base it on your dislike because of her personality isn't reason enough. This is where you have to make a sacrifice to keep your relationship. We all have to do it sometime or another. So put on your fake smile, and host the holidays, and events graciously. 1
kendahke Posted January 21, 2020 Posted January 21, 2020 I"m curious, too, as to what exactly did she do TO YOU, OP on day 1 to cause your animosity? 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted January 21, 2020 Posted January 21, 2020 On 1/18/2020 at 5:13 PM, wjen said: How can I explain to him I do not want her in my life. that's an easy one: DTMFA
Foxhall Posted January 22, 2020 Posted January 22, 2020 If your not happy to invite the girl to parties and so on I think that is an ok stance from your end, your boyfriend can still have other interactions with her, coffee meet ups or something, but I dont see why he should be pushing her on to you, when he knows you do not enjoy her company, 1
fromheart Posted January 25, 2020 Posted January 25, 2020 Women have a natural tendency to hate one another, its something men can't understand. Try and keep women wars secret from your bf. Maybe chat to your female friends about it.
elaine567 Posted January 25, 2020 Posted January 25, 2020 10 minutes ago, fromheart said: Women have a natural tendency to hate one another... Maybe chat to your female friends about it. LOL! 1
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted January 29, 2020 Posted January 29, 2020 You shouldn't HAVE TO give reasons why you dislike this woman. Your instincts and intuition are picking up on something negative, and that IN AND OF ITSELF is a valid reason for you to distance yourself from her. While you can't stop him from inviting her to participate in hobbies, he should respect your decision to leave her out of special occasion celebrations.
K.K. Posted January 30, 2020 Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) ! Edited January 30, 2020 by K.K. Not needed now
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