Re: SWEETHEART Needs Help!

[bethbonnie]

Hello, I have a slight problem, I went away for 2 weeks and since I got back, my boyfriend of almost 3 months has kinda ignored me. He hasn't come to visit me or talked to me since I got home. I called him when I got home, but he had to get offf of the phone. The problem is; while I was away I cheated on him, I fooled around with another guy. It meant nothing to me. But now that I am back, I have been talking to anoher friend of mine and I think that I am starting to like him. I know he likes me because he told me that he does. He's a really nice guy, but I think I am still in love with my boyfriend. But if i am never going to see him than what's the point in us seeing each other? So anyway, now I don't know if I should just wait for my b/f to come and see me so that we can talk, or just call him up and end it. I really don't know what to do because I still love him, I think... but then there's my other friend who I definetly have feelings for. Please help me, I need all the advice I can get, Sweetheart When you say you 'love' someone, does that include loving and respecting yourself enough to be true to the committment your shaing with them? I believe that a relationship is not only built for two, but MUST include total honesty and trust toward each other. Is there any chance that your now boyfriend may have found out about 'cheating' on him? Is that why he is unable or willing to see or hear from you? Did this other person you were with know that you were seeing someone, and if he did, wouldnt you be silly to pursue a relationship with someone who is willing to betray another man's trust...does that not show you his lack of integrity? First I would try to speak with your current boyfriend and ask him if there is any reason why he is distancing himself from you. If it is because he is aware of you 'cheating' on him...well I will not be surprised if he will make the choice before you do to end his association with you completely. If it is because of any other reason and he makes it obvious to you that he no longer wishes to pursue you and him being in a relationship, then accept it. It would be very unwise and selfish to tell him about 'cheating' on him (ususally people tell of their infidelities to their partners to clear their own guilt..and it can profoundly affect their partner's future ability to trust someone that may be very genuine.) If your now boyfriend wants to continue seeing you and has had genuine reasons for not being able to see you since you have come home...then it will be up to you to decide whether you should continue seeing him, The future emotional guilt from your unfaithfulness may affect the relationship anyway. In any case, the current boyfriend and you have only been involved for a very short time and maybe for all concerned you would do well to be on your own for some time, to give yourself a chance to learn a little more about who you are. We can only really love another in a healthy way when we understand the meaning of loving ourself. Learn from this season of life you are in... and try to realise that nobody deserves to be cheated on, true love and friendship grows and blossoms, on a foundation of love, trust and honesty (doing the right thing toward yourself. and others has the wonderful benefit of a clear conscience... which is the absolutely vital for our peace of mind.......xxx take care, bethbonie .. ps forget about the other guy ... you deserve better..