Have you been so disappointed with your spouse

[wtm78]

Have you been so disappointed in your spouse, the thought of them is repulsive?

You must be thinking, if you have an issue with your wife why can't you sit down and have a good talk? The answer is precisely, I can't talk. If I'm upset with something she has done or not do. I would thought that the right thing to do is to let her know how I feel. As soon as she hears something remotely suggesting that she has hurt me in anyway. All she hear is that I'm blaming her and she is a horrible person. Then she screams and yell defensively, and follow by shutting down, withdrawing into her own world. As much as I give her her space, she takes longer to recover each time. And when she does recover, she behaves like nothing has happened and would not want to talk about the issue. If I insist on addressing the issue again, the same cycle of defensiveness and shutting down will take place. 

Even now 6 months of physical separation, she still says she is very hurt she doesn't want to talk about the past. 2 weeks ago she even ran off, not walk off. Ran! When I want to talk about the issues. I needed to talk about the issues to know if there is anything worth salvaging. But as my counselor mentioned, perhaps that is all that she is capable of handling and the amount of talking is not going to increase her capacity.

I think it's also very unfair for me when she doesn't want to get me a conclusive answer. I ask if getting a divorce is what she wants. Her answer is that she wants to move on and not talk about the past. She is very hurt she needs time to heal. 

Somehow in her recent words and actions, I'm slowly beginning to feel that she has never loved me. Maybe she loved the idea of me (or perhaps it could be anyone else). Our recent interaction made me feel that she only cares about herself and her well being. Even coming to my grandma's wake last week was nothing more than to put up a show. Why do I say that? I didn't inform her of the wake, she found our through her friends who called her asking about me after seeing my post on social media. And she  called and confronted me crying angrily saying. "Why didn't you tell me? What would your family think of me? Like I'm some heartless and bad person?" 

I answered her "So your concern is how would people think of you? No - hi, how are you doing? No - Are you ok?" 

She kept quiet. Didn't admit didn't say no.

She is just a very big disappointment to me. She changed from someone who cared before marriage into someone who only cared about herself. 

My theroy is she just wanted to get married and the idea of getting married. I feel like her real-life version of Ken the Barbie doll. You know whom the little girl can play getting married, changing his clothes and feeding him with food.

And all the things I talked about the future, the marriage where she used to agree with everything. After married, she was like "Oh, I thought you were joking" 

So naturally, I feel that this person really played me real bad. I feel so cheated into this. 

I'm very disappointed and disgusted. 

[notbroken]

Divorce.  Unfortunately,   If you are that disappointed in her and 'repulsed' by her it would be almost impossible to come back from that.   Do you see any other possible path?