GingerGal Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) There's an acquaintance (friend of friends) been curious about for a bit, would seem mutual given some of his actions. We've had face-to-face conversations which later led to a bit of chatting via text. There was a bit of sexual commentary but nothing forward enough to be off-putting. Anyway there was a bit of more-by-accident-than-anything flirting. But I'm not much into casual (which, in retrospect, he seemed more into as there was some but not much engagement on relatable subjects) & after a day or two thinking about it got a hold of him & more or less said not 'easy'. As you can imagine that led to conversations waning. Here's my confusion. He's subsequently apologized for that flirting and for any hard feelings. In proxy experience through friends/relatives (as said not much into casual) guys who are legitimately just womanizers/players shrug their shoulders, tell themselves whatever & move on when told off. Never heard of one apologizing for perceived insult. Edited January 20, 2020 by GingerGal Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 He's not a bad guy. Hence he apologized for what he understood as you being insulted. However, he's not interested in pursing something serious with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 20, 2020 Share Posted January 20, 2020 He is sorry that you were insulted, however, he doesn't want to continue to pursue you because it appears that you are not on the same page as he is -- which is not wanting anything serious and hoping for casual sex. There are women who would be ok with that so he will continue his search. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GingerGal Posted January 20, 2020 Author Share Posted January 20, 2020 (edited) Sorry. I thought it was included in the initial post. It just confuses me due to the simple fact I've done absolutely nothing to imply I'd be interested in causal sex in general & what he's seen of me prior to this back/forth. I hold myself to high standards & it reflects in the way I dress/act. Around here, not to be rude just fact, there's a number of women who are more obviously "easy" (by dress, actions) than to focus on someone like me. Edited January 20, 2020 by GingerGal Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 You haven't blocked him out so it seems as if you feel there is something here of interest to you? Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 mebbe he watches too much porn and natural assumes all women are interested in him? i'm being silly... nothing to overthink here... he may have had a run in with other women where he came on too strong or was misunderstood or misunderstood the situation and he jumped the ball to get ahead of any fall out. move on. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 I think he thought you were probably offended by the "bit of sexual commentary" so he apologized. He is probably used to sexual banter with women who take it lightly. It sounds like he thought you were taking it as a sign or interest. He is not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 You sound very uncomfortable with your sexuality; most men are very comfortable with their own sexuality and when confronted with a situation like this where a guy is being called out on his overt sexual behavior, he feels bad.. Most guys would feel bad in this situation, you come off as innocent in our overt sexual world. With this being said, any guy who is in a relationship with you will still be as overtly sexual as this guy... It is our nature to be this way, some will suppress it, some will not. The way you dress or carry yourself is not going to change the nature of man, but rather simply the way the man acts, you would do well to remember that. Him saying sorry is a reflection of this; is he really sorry? No, but hes willing to let you think he is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 17 hours ago, GingerGal said: Sorry. I thought it was included in the initial post. It just confuses me due to the simple fact I've done absolutely nothing to imply I'd be interested in causal sex in general & what he's seen of me prior to this back/forth. I hold myself to high standards & it reflects in the way I dress/act. Around here, not to be rude just fact, there's a number of women who are more obviously "easy" (by dress, actions) than to focus on someone like me. Guys do this all the time whether women are into it or not. You've actually never had a man have sexual banter with you before? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GingerGal Posted January 21, 2020 Author Share Posted January 21, 2020 (edited) Gotta ask have either of you ever had success with your assumptions of people irl? 6 hours ago, stillafool said: Guys do this all the time whether women are into it or not. You've actually never had a man have sexual banter with you before? Plenty of times. Got no issue with that. Fact being a playful person I enjoy bantering with people be it passing quips or sexual. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Thing is, is I've never engaged in banter with this guy before. As said passing acquaintances. Sure in this back/forth via social media there was sexual banter. No biggie. It wasn't anything extensive nor even excessively sexual. More ridiculous than anything. And just so you know, in case you don't, there's a difference between sexual banter & admission to masturbation in most people's books. 6 hours ago, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said: You sound very uncomfortable with your sexuality; most men are very comfortable with their own sexuality and when confronted with a situation like this where a guy is being called out on his overt sexual behavior, he feels bad.. Most guys would feel bad in this situation, you come off as innocent in our overt sexual world. With this being said, any guy who is in a relationship with you will still be as overtly sexual as this guy... It is our nature to be this way, some will suppress it, some will not. The way you dress or carry yourself is not going to change the nature of man, but rather simply the way the man acts, you would do well to remember that. Him saying sorry is a reflection of this; is he really sorry? No, but hes willing to let you think he is. I'm hardly uncomfortable with my sexuality. In fact I'm pretty damn comfortable with who I am. Confident. As said to afool there's a difference between sexual banter, of which I've no issues with, & admitting to masturbation to what is more or less a complete stranger. Edited January 21, 2020 by GingerGal 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 52 minutes ago, GingerGal said: As said to afool there's a difference between sexual banter, of which I've no issues with, & admitting to masturbation to what is more or less a complete stranger. Yeah, I have no problem discussing or admitting to masturbation either. On 1/20/2020 at 8:30 AM, GingerGal said: Here's my confusion. He's subsequently apologized for that flirting and for any hard feelings. In proxy experience through friends/relatives (as said not much into casual) guys who are legitimately just womanizers/players shrug their shoulders, tell themselves whatever & move on when told off. Never heard of one apologizing for perceived insult. Well maybe you're right he isn't a player or womanizer. Why do you think he's apologizing? You have a better clue than us. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GingerGal Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 1 hour ago, stillafool said: Yeah, I have no problem discussing or admitting to masturbation either. To more or less a complete stranger? Your standards must be on the lower side of things. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 I didn't mean to a complete stranger on the first conversation. Geesh. Again, why do you think he's apologizing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GingerGal Posted January 22, 2020 Author Share Posted January 22, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Again, why do you think he's apologizing? Wherever did I say "I think" he's apologized. He apologized. He wrote apologizing. As, more or less, said in the initial post. As for the "why" he did, if I legitimately knew I wouldn't be asking, would I? Edited January 22, 2020 by GingerGal Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted January 22, 2020 Share Posted January 22, 2020 12 hours ago, GingerGal said: As said to afool there's a difference between sexual banter, of which I've no issues with, & admitting to masturbation to what is more or less a complete stranger. I have to agree with you on that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts