Steve40th396 Posted January 21, 2020 Share Posted January 21, 2020 (edited) Has anyone ever got separated, dated to get your self esteem back or whatever, then realize the one you left was the one you want to get back with? Is that possible? I mean, I am sure it is, but, it seems like you would date to find a new partner, fresh, not issues to trigger you with etc? Edited January 25, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 Are you saying you want to get back with your wife? The one that was moving on but you sabotaged it for her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Steve40th396 Posted January 24, 2020 Author Share Posted January 24, 2020 9 hours ago, JTSW said: Are you saying you want to get back with your wife? The one that was moving on but you sabotaged it for her? Sometimes you need to look at all options. What I sabotaged was not what it seemed. She told me everything, and it was not really much.. But, that is what we agreed on. I do want to get back with my WAW.. But first, I need to be the man I was before the marriage, not a typical tail between the leg husband who thinks her leaving was all his fault. Decisions were made by her to leave, without truly trying to repair the marriage. We have brought many of those items to light recently, as adults.. Its not an easy thing to do, getting back together, especially if dating is involved. I am just asking. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 Who is dating here? You or your estranged wife? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 1 hour ago, Steve40th396 said: Decisions were made by her to leave, without truly trying to repair the marriage. We have brought many of those items to light recently, as adults.. Its not an easy thing to do, getting back together, especially if dating is involved. I am just asking. Not a damn chance I considered it. Once I was out, I never considered reconciliation. I was angry. I was emotional. I was pissed he ruined our life as we knew it. I didnt want to be split up. I wanted him never to have ruined our lives No amount of apologies would have helped. No amount of dating other people or each other again would have helped. No amount of therapy would have helped. What he had with his OW was absolutely nothing. Nothing special. Nothing lasting. Nothing. It became nothing once I blew the affair up and stayed that way. He didnt want her. He wanted to fix us. What made up my mind to leave and stay gone vs attempting to reconcile was my sheer inability to get over it. I would have punished him until the day he died for what he did and didnt want either of us to live like that. I knew it my heart I could not forgive that. He literally threw away 12 years for someone who meant nothing to him, someone he didn't even speak to after I left him and someone who didnt even cross his mind after we split. He literally threw me away for nothing. I have zero ability to see how I could reconcile that. Had he actually cared about someone enough to question our relationship and felt he made a mistake? Maybe. But he didnt even care about this woman. How much did he care about me if he rated her above me for that time? Are you dating? Is she dating? Are you attempting to date one another again? I'm confused, too! Haha 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted January 24, 2020 Share Posted January 24, 2020 On 1/21/2020 at 9:48 PM, Steve40th396 said: Has anyone ever got separated, dated to get your self esteem back or whatever, then realize the one you left was the one you want to get back with? Nope. Dating again reinforced that my decision to leave was the right one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Steve40th396 Posted January 25, 2020 Author Share Posted January 25, 2020 3 hours ago, elaine567 said: Who is dating here? You or your estranged wife? Neither is dating.. I was asking if it were to happen, and you found out. I am the Left Behind SPouse, she is the walk away spouse due to my issues, and her choice. Link to post Share on other sites
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