Long distance boyfriend found new girl after just 2 days?

[BabyGhoul]

Okay so I posted on this forum before about the same situation but before my long distance boyfriend disappeared on me for 2 days. When he came back he broke up with me because I went and talked to my old male friend that I had before I met my ex boyfriend.

While me and him were together we made a promise to each other not to talk to people of the opposite sex while we were together. He was the one that wanted to start that agreement because of his own insecurities, so I complied and did as he wished and I stopped talking to all my male friends for the entirety of the relationship and he stopped talking to all his female friends in return.

When he disappeared on me for two days straight, I thought he was done with me. I thought that was his way of breaking up with me so I went and talked to my old friend for an hour to try and calm down because I was feeling really depressed and I needed support. I tried contacting all of my female friends but none of them responded to my texts so my male friend was my only choice.

When he told me that he wanted to break up because I went and talked to him "behind his back" it honestly broke me because if I knew that me and him were still dating, I wouldn't have gone to my friend for advice and support. Now I'm feeling really bad because I've messaged him a ton apologizing and explaining the situation to him and asking for his forgiveness but he just ignores my messages.

He still has me on all of his social media as his girlfriend and all of his gaming profiles my picture is still his profile picture and he still has his cute lovey dovey bio description about me. I looked on a mutual discord server that we share, and I saw that he was in a call with another girl and that honestly hurt me.

How can he move on so quickly with another girl already? It's only been two days. If he was really over me wouldn't he have taken me off of his social media and gaming accounts? Is he just doing this to torture me?

Can someone tell me how I can win back his trust because I honestly didn't try to hurt him or break his trust and all I want is for him to want me and love me again..please help..thank you.

 

Link to my other post: 

 

Edited January 22, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ExpatInItaly]

This is the same guy you've never met, who lied to you about several things, and treats you like crap?

Honey, this isn't a real relationship and it sure isn't love. You need to do better for yourself and date healthy, mature local guys. This clown is a fantasy, and a poor one at that. 

[basil67]

You've really done yourself a disservice by a) agreeing to not be friends with you male mates and b) apologising for talking to your mates when you had assumed he'd walked away from you.   

Assuming that your contact with your mates wasn't inappropriately frequent, don't give up your friends for any guy, no matter how insecure he is.   And if a guy disappears, don't ever apologise for behaving as you would if you were no longer with him.    If a guy disappears, all you need to say is "I thought we'd broken up".   If you decide to continue the relationship on his return, simply refuse to discuss what you did in his absence further.  "I thought we'd broken up"

You have power.  Don't be afraid to use it.

 

Edited January 22, 2020 by basil67

[TeddyBundy1993]

Bitter words for you young girl knock this man off from your life you'll be better in long run. Hes 35 and trying to flirt with numerous girls online behind your back why would you put yourself in this painful journey. You will get nothing but more lies and heartbreak from this man. Long distance are very hard, and I see there is a good age difference too. Cut him off I seriously doubt he will ever come to meet you even. 

[d0nnivain]

11 hours ago, BabyGhoul said:

While me and him were together we made a promise to each other not to talk to people of the opposite sex while we were together. 

That was a foolish & unsustainable promise.  1/2 the world's population is the opposite sex.  You can't just stop talking to people. 

You are 22 years old.  This guy was never a good match for you.  Let him go & find a real BF locally.  

 

[stillafool]

Because you didn't hear from him for 2 days you thought he broke up with you so you needed support?

[2BGoodAgain]

guys/girls who make such silly rules, make them b/c they are the worst offenders of such a rule.

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, stillafool said:

Because you didn't hear from him for 2 days you thought he broke up with you so you needed support?

Have a gander through her previous thread. It will give more context for the overall toxic dysfunction between her and this online man. 

[basil67]

7 hours ago, stillafool said:

Because you didn't hear from him for 2 days you thought he broke up with you so you needed support?

Why not?  If a boyfriend disappeared for two days, I'd very likely be having a discussion with my friends about it.  

[stillafool]

Did they live together?  If so, I can understand her being worried and concerned but if it was just 2 days NC, knowing me I'd enjoy the break.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Have a gander through her previous thread. It will give more context for the overall toxic dysfunction between her and this online man. 

Okay OP, is this really a relationship?  You haven't seen him and it seems that all he does is lie to you.  You are a pretty girl and can do better than some 35 year old man living in his mom's basement (probably).  Does he have a job?  I think you'd do better to meet a new guy who you can actually see in person.

[basil67]

7 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Did they live together?  If so, I can understand her being worried and concerned but if it was just 2 days NC, knowing me I'd enjoy the break.

While I would likely not bother again with someone who didn't have the decency to tell me that they were taking a bit of time out.  

[Foxhall]

21 hours ago, BabyGhoul said:

Now I'm feeling really bad because I've messaged him a ton apologizing and explaining the situation to him and asking for his forgiveness but he just ignores my messages.

dont humble yourself in this manner, dont give a boyfriend or anyone for that matter power over you.

also no need for having to agree to these ultimatums, 

future relationships on your own terms or a fair bit of give and take on both sides.