SilentPrayer Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 Dear Chicks and Dicks~ I myself am a well rounded woman. With alot of good qualitys, I am understanding, patient, humorous, loveing, kind and most of all tollerant of alot of things. What I don't get...is why do men like you PISS you oFF?? I have a friend BOB (real name withheld) and BOB loves to get me going. In a convo...he likes to pick @ things he knows I am secitive about....and he picks...he knows what piss's me off and does it often. He doesn't do it out of pure EVIL intensions. He actually likes to see me get mad....get red cheeks...get all huffy....he even laughs @ me...and then tries to calm me down. Even when I speak to him online..he says things just to annoy me...to get me annoyed....he acts like a total a**h***....and he is totally rude....and then...after enoug...pokeing...and nagging....I finally get mad. Then...He just laughs...says.."OK.....whats wrong with you"? and signs off. WHY DOES HE DO THIS? HEAD GAMES...? TOYING WITH ME? JUST TO SEE A REACTION OUT OF ME? I really don't get it....Why do men like getting woman mad for the fun of it? I researched it online...and I am coming up with NOTHING. HELP ME OUT!
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 He is just punching your buttons.. Why ?? Because he can.. Learn how to let it roll off your back and he will stop doing it .. Learn how to control your temper ..
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 He is just punching your buttons.. Why ?? Because he can.. Learn how to let it roll off your back and he will stop doing it .. Learn how to control your temper .. I do control my temper...read my posts on here. I can control them really well..he just pushs the buttons that are connected to my heart..and he acts all non-chellant about it all...and then laughs at me..and teases me for getting mad...he tells me to CHILAX..or CHILL OUT...and hes the one who is getting me mad. I dont get it? MY friggin lord...I dont deserve this.
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 -Reaction, and I'm sure you give him one. -For fun, again, reaction. -To keep you on your toes...Meaning, keeping you interested. And I agree 100% with AC. Cuz he can. I actually DO things to bug my husband, know why? Cuz he gives me reaction! It's really stupid stuff, and yes, I know I probably bug the s*** out of him, but it's worth it sometimes because it's funny. Is it evil? Nope. It's fun intended and it depends on how you look at it and handle it. Start playing back and have some fun!
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 -Reaction, and I'm sure you give him one. -For fun, again, reaction. -To keep you on your toes...Meaning, keeping you interested. And I agree 100% with AC. Cuz he can. I actually DO things to bug my husband, know why? Cuz he gives me reaction! It's really stupid stuff, and yes, I know I probably bug the s*** out of him, but it's worth it sometimes because it's funny. Is it evil? Nope. It's fun intended and it depends on how you look at it and handle it. Start playing back and have some fun! How could I play back...I don't do that stuff....I can't see myself doing it at all. I just don't know what to do..he doesn't give me anything to play off of. GIve me some tips?
brittanyjean259 Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 i meen theres a difference between poking fun and just hurting your feelings? what exactly does he say to you?
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 He says things like No I don't want to know....when I have news for him. He is jokeing but it makes me mad Chill OUt ****...that's not what I meant. Why should I care? When I ask about us He says he is jokeing..and not being serious But he pushs me so far..that I start to think its real.. MAKES ME ANGRY!
chadsconfuzed Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 Wow, finally a question I may have been able to help with, and whichwayisup has already given the same opinion. As for how you can play back, if he doesn't give you any fodder, pick something stupid, like something in the way he looks or something. It doesn't have to be deep stuff, just something to get under his skin. Or . . . If, as brittanyjean259 suggests, he's actually hurting your feelings, and you've told him this and seriously asked him to stop, than its probably a good idea to cut yourself off from him. As for that part, I'll have to hand it off to someone else.
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 Most of all...he gets me all mad....and I am talking to him and he says he has got work to do...and BYe If I don't say bye right away..he says Come on..you can do it for once...just say bye.....say bye....come on...SAy BYE allready. that kind of ****...I think he is trying to be mind controling.
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 5, 2005 Author Posted October 5, 2005 Damn All Men to HELL> I am 2 steps away from ordering a mail order husband just to make my life simple...see how far you men push woman these days.
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 OK well you have to decide either way...Let it go and don't let it bother you. That means stop reacting to him. If you stop, maybe he'll stop. If he doesn't then maybe say to him, if you keep on bugging me I'm gonna leave and/or hang up the phone/IM, whatever you are doing with him. The thing is, you have to be prepared to follow through on the threat. I'm not saying dump him, but if this is bugging you as much as it seems - It's not a joke anymore. If he still doesn't get it, then start making small penis jokes, how long he can last in the sack jokes too. Trust me, he'll get the hint and stop! All you have to do is once push him the wrong way and he'll get a taste of his own medicine. I don't know what else to say, except don't lose your humour!
MassiveAtom Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 Maybe he's unknowingly giving you insight into your own personality. It's funny, people do this all the time for each other, but some folks just don't listen. Whatever he says, whatever he does, no matter WHAT it is, says infinitely more about what's going on with him, than it does about what's going on with you. If he tells you "chillaxx beeyatch, that's not what I meant" just shows he's a verbally abusive prick that feels disrespecting you is A-Okay to do. Your continued engagement in that exchange condones the behavior. Your reaction to that kind of drivel shows there's something about you that is susceptible to idiotic behavior. look into what that is. It's fun. and Healthy. Personally, I like to SEE emotions, but I refuse to let someone else have the power to control them. You're letting this guy control you, and somehow he's getting his jollies from it.
amber245 Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 They do it to get your attention, and I think they think it's sexy when you get angry.
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 Maybe he's unknowingly giving you insight into your own personality. It's funny, people do this all the time for each other, but some folks just don't listen. Whatever he says, whatever he does, no matter WHAT it is, says infinitely more about what's going on with him, than it does about what's going on with you. If he tells you "chillaxx beeyatch, that's not what I meant" just shows he's a verbally abusive prick that feels disrespecting you is A-Okay to do. Your continued engagement in that exchange condones the behavior. Your reaction to that kind of drivel shows there's something about you that is susceptible to idiotic behavior. look into what that is. It's fun. and Healthy. Personally, I like to SEE emotions, but I refuse to let someone else have the power to control them. You're letting this guy control you, and somehow he's getting his jollies from it. He does not sweat at me..unless he is saying the word ****! Which is not too often. He has never yelled at me except for once which "seriously" I brought on myself. I did something bad. That has been the only time, he has sworn and yelled @ me in our whole time of knowing one another. He tries to control a conversation all the time when we speak via phone or msn. When we are in person I am in control...not quite 100% but he is not so cocky anymore. It's different in person, he is much more sweater and kind and just a little bit of a goof but when we are apart "like right now" he somehow turns into a prick..likes to be in command...act like he is too busy to talk to me....doesnt get my jokes...takes forever to reply to me....makes fun of things i say...if I am expressing an emotional issue. It just does not make sence...how can a person be so wonderful infront of you then change the moment they are away? He has always been like this since I knew him. I somewhat feel like his defence for being away from me "because he has always been jealous over me" is to be rude to me....or push me away...so that he wont allow himself to feel something over me. In a way that sounds foolish as well.....but he has always did this. Whenever he had to go away on business his attitude went the same "cocky, arrogant, moody, critical". Now were in two separate provinces and he knows I am moving to his very soon. He will probably change as time creeps closer to me being there. I like him alot..and these things would help me figure it out.
Horse Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 A better question is why do you feel compelled to hang out with a guy who enjoys pissing you off? You can damn all men to hell, but you are the one who keeps coming back for more. If he didn't mess with your head would you even be thinking about him right now?
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 I would be thinking of him of course. He was the 1st person I loved, and still do love. I respect him alot, he is an engineer, really smart, wonderful and he makes me relax instantly when were with one another. The probleme that I am haveing is that he is negative, critical, fussy and ignorant. He is a virgo male lol...go figure. I have patience and I am rideing it out for now. TTYL
basscatcher Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 He sounds like a boy picking on a girl he likes. Playground tactics... Boys who like girls typically are bullies to get their attention. Sounds like he didn't grow up.
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 He sounds like a boy picking on a girl he likes. Playground tactics... Boys who like girls typically are bullies to get their attention. Sounds like he didn't grow up. ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????\ I don't think you read the whole post. Were having some problems connecting here and I am seeking advice not comments. (He sounds like a boy picking on a girl he likes.Playground tactics...Boys who like girls typically are bullies to get their attention. Sounds like he didn't grow up) IF you ask me that sounds more along the lines of immature. I was not looking for your 2cents, and it's funny I always seem to get it. Anyhow thanks for whatever kind of INFO you tried to give me. Ps: I may be young...yes....he may be young as well but we have both had to grow up fast. It's how we were raised in one anothers family. Both family's are well off, and more was expected from the both of us @ a younger age then most teens, young adults ect. So yeah, whatever
basscatcher Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 I don't think you read the whole post. Were having some problems connecting here and I am seeking advice not comments. IF you ask me that sounds more along the lines of immature. I was not looking for your 2cents, and it's funny I always seem to get it. Anyhow thanks for whatever kind of INFO you tried to give me. So yeah, whatever I did read the whole post. You made a post so you most likely will get peoples 2cents and advice. I didn't intent to irritate you. By making a comment. I have had similiar experiences with guys. So I know how it feels. I've tried to get guys to stop pushing my buttons too but they seem to enjoy it cause they get a reaction out of me. It's a power play on me. I wasn't attacking you, degrading you or trying to make you feel like your young. There's no need to get defensive.
Author SilentPrayer Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 I did read the whole post. You made a post so you most likely will get peoples 2cents and advice. I didn't intent to irritate you. By making a comment. I have had similiar experiences with guys. So I know how it feels. I've tried to get guys to stop pushing my buttons too but they seem to enjoy it cause they get a reaction out of me. It's a power play on me. I wasn't attacking you, degrading you or trying to make you feel like your young. There's no need to get defensive. WoW, I guess I took it the wrong way. I don't know what to say but sorry. I had figured you were poking fun at me..or us..lol.."me and his situation". ANyhow..sorry...I take it back..I've just been getting alot of criticalness latley...specially from him. I feel like a beaten house wife lol....I whinse at the slightest movement lol. ok ok..bad joke~ I am trying to figure things out here. @ the present time I have 3 older sisters. All of them have graduated from college, have a great job and getting paid over 100,000.00 a year, all owne homes or great apt, all are engaged and happy with a BF/feance'. I feel like some kind of TOOL...I dont know what to make of all of this. He drives me wild..I want him so much..I want to sleep with him...lay with him..touch his body....kiss him...he is so snuggly. Then he starts @ me again....he is so critical. Can I not be anymore perfect? I am a woman, all fingers toes, boobs, cemetrical face...what could he ask more for?
johan Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 It seems like you're sensitive enough that your buttons are easy to push. That's one part of it. Assuming you aren't extra sensitive, then I'd say it sounds like he's likes to pick on you, because you respond. That's a control thing. He can operate you like he has a remote control. He can fire you up at will, he can stop when he wants, and he can end the conversation when he wants. He may not realize that's what he's getting out of it, but that's what it is: control. You should be able to control your feelings better than that. You don't have to get upset or respond unless you choose to. And if you start to get upset, you can end the conversation yourself. You don't have to take him so seriously.
maroon5 Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 wow i fel ur pain. my bf loves to do this to me to get a reaction out of me. its very funny for him.. i like to do the same. but we r not as brutal as u mentioned. ours is very flirtatious. anyways i think u shoudk try to talk to him or have u already done that?
Curt Posted October 6, 2005 Moderators Posted October 6, 2005 I dont know what to make of all of this. He drives me wild..I want him so much..I want to sleep with him...lay with him..touch his body....kiss him...he is so snuggly. Then he starts @ me again....he is so critical. Can I not be anymore perfect? I am a woman, all fingers toes, boobs, cemetrical face...what could he ask more for? The few sentences quoted above prove that he is doing exactly what he needs to do to keep you interested. He's keeping things light and cute ... he's picking at you like he's the guy in highschool that keeps wrestling around with ya and making fun and ... well ... generally getting your goat just enough to keep you thinking about him. On some unconscious level, you are probably respecting that he's not intimidated by you, even though he cares for ya. The thing is, a lot of guys turn into "woman-like" sissies when they are involved in a relationship with the gals they care for. Do you know what happens as a result? It eventually turns the girls off. Afterall, they want a man ... not another "touchy-feely," "girlish" boy. He's doing fine. You want him. You're thinking about him constantly. Curt
johan Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Hey! I missed that part. I dig chicks with symmetrical faces and boobs. I'm going to have to start picking on you, because I'm not bad myself and I'm single now.
HotCaliGirl Posted October 6, 2005 Posted October 6, 2005 Personally, I like to SEE emotions, but I refuse to let someone else have the power to control them. You're letting this guy control you, and somehow he's getting his jollies from it. Hey MassiveA. - long time! That's a good statement - one of the biggest freedoms we all have is to choose our reactions to situations and people, so try not to let his comments get to you. Don't let him control that i.e. you, especially since he's doing it to give you a negative reaction. That's messed up and unacceptable for him to get his fun out of making you feel miserable - and whichwayisup's suggestion to get back at him by making small penis jokes - I don't think that's going to solve it, but I guess it's worth a try since your reaction so far hasn't made him care enough to stop, so maybe you have to act indifferent to his comments and do the same by saying hurtful things to him? that's messed up though....
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