Grassman2017 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 So, yea...if I’m being honest, I’ve fallen for my married “friend.” To make matters worse, she’s moving because her husband got a job in another state. Yesterday, we said goodbye. I’m dealing, but there are some extremely painful moments when I remember I’ll most likely never see her again. My own marriage because is obviously in bad shape. We don’t fight, but we also don’t f***. And whatever feelings I had for my wife are completely gone. At this point, it’s a utilitarian marriage. We take care of the kids, get things done, etc. I know...depressing. My wife also has bipolar disorder, which makes the idea of divorce scary. She’s attempted suicide before. And I worry about a divorce’s affect on my kids. Anyway, having strong feelings for someone and knowing you can never be with them is the WORST feeling in the world, and I’ve decided I’m never going to let that happen again! And the pain of having to deal with losing this person, and going through it alone, makes it all the worse!! I needed to get this off my chest. If anyone’s had a similar experience and would like to offer advice, I would deeply appreciate it! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 (edited) My (E)AP left abruptly for a new job. In my case, the EA had been deteriorating significantly for a few months beforehand. I think having her impossible to contact and thus completely out of your life makes it easiest. She's just not on your mind in the same way anymore. Maybe you can reconnect with your wife once that happens, dunno. Recommend you delete/wipe/etc any traces of it and maybe write her number down on scratch paper with some other random information and delete it from your phone. Then tuck the scratch paper away somewhere innocuous but out of the way. Something like that. So you have it "backed up", but really you don't have access. If you went PA, I feel it's important to tested for STIs before you get intimate with your wife again (if that happens) just for safety. Again, my take is that the more fully and completely she is out of your life the easier it is on you. Your limbic system knows contact isn't possible any more and so "leaves the rest of your brain alone". Believe this made it much easier on me compared to what I hear from some folks, and I'm guessing/hoping it works for you. This may well be a blessing in disguise. Edited January 26, 2020 by mark clemson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts