Ruby Slippers Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 I agree there's the rational explanations... and the emotional reactions. Feelings are often not rational and they don't have to be. His wife definitely screwed up. But part of marriage is accepting your partner's mistakes and figuring out how to get over them. I'd probably tell her I'd appreciate it if she cut out the comparisons and comments on other men. Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 11 hours ago, DKT3 said: Your wife being attracted too and turned on by other men is a matter of nature, its simply an uncontrollable reaction, if you cant except that then relationships are not for you. I believe her error was connecting that attraction to your sex life. I believe that is what you're having trouble with. I'm not sure that your wife is saying the only way I can have sex with you is through him, I somehow believe that is what you heard. exactly. I see women that are very hot, real life, movies, tv, magazines, etc. that does not make me find my wife less attractive. does not make me want to cheat on my wife. this is the same for all men and women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 How can everyone be right at once? - There's truth to primal instincts kicking in here - There's truth to management of our primal instincts being an important skill - There's truth to this being on her (mentioning how attracted she is to a guy who would be hard to compete with physically; feeding or being oblivious to his insecurities; not understanding her husband's emotional needs and state) - There's truth to this being on him (insecurity, or at least how he handles insecurity; also a certain amount of overreaction - no where did it say the guy's actually moving in on his wife, she's just attracted; the guy could have no interest for all we know - pen in company ink philosophy and all that) So, @MajesticHybrid - what's the plan? Do you intend to end your marriage over this? Go sexless (not recommended, at least by me 🙂)? Therapy? Something else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 17 hours ago, thefooloftheyear said: 17 hours ago, DKT3 said: We have evolved past acting purely on instinctual behavior. The feelings that instinct produce are just feelings, how we process and act on those feelings are what separate us from other animals. But that's for another topic. Of course....that's why he didn't club the guy to death... Or maybe more to the point perhaps, the other guy didn't club the OP to death... The perceived "less than" mentality is key here. My guess the OP was proud of his own body, he felt his wife was proud of him too, she was turned on by the sex they had. Now it all seems like a waste of his time... Most men it seems to me, tend to want sex, they often hardly care about the feelings/thoughts of the woman, as it is all about "getting some", what she wants/feels is secondary to his orgasm. That is why some men can have sex with prostitutes as they don't care that she is only doing it with him for money and no other reason. Many men have the ability to shut that truth off. Here, the OP is very concerned about what his wife thinks, he was supposed to be her one and only, her mate, her personal super stud. He now knows she would really rather have sex with the local and the highly accessible, " The Rock" lookalike... Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 I am sure this has already been said I cant imagine it hasn't. I would just sit her down and tell her how you felt by what she said. I think its good she is talking to you but I don't think she really realized just how her comments made you feel. Hopefully you both can work this out. Link to post Share on other sites
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