Why does my spouse always want me to be the bad guy?

[oldtruck]

call the cops about the  dog

sell  the house, move far from any trains

happy wife happy life for the husband

[VioletVelvet]

@Penguins1010

I'm very familiar with trying to have a relationship with someone with communication problems and it won't work. You shutting down because she gets silent/angry when you try to discuss things won't work. I was married for a long time in a relationship like this and believe me length of time married does not denote success. 

When my son was just out of his teens, he said to me, "I may be young but I think the key to a successful relationship is to talk about everything. Even if it's hard, and even if you know it might end up in a fight, you have to talk about it because otherwise it will just get worse." And I said, "You know I don't think you're wrong."

On the house, dogs, train part of this discussion -- losing money sucks but in a year or two the lost money will be forgotten. If the house isn't working it isn't working. But I think you've got far bigger fish to fry. 

 

[Lotsgoingon]

8 hours ago, VioletVelvet said:

"I may be young but I think the key to a successful relationship is to talk about everything. Even if it's hard, and even if you know it might end up in a fight, you have to talk about it because otherwise it will just get worse."

 

OMG, your son is wise!

You know you're in trouble, btw, when not only don't you fight ... but you're AFRAID to openly conflict with a partner ... because you know they'll go ballistic. Major red flag at all times.