Sour_Grapes Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Long story short, my wife developed epilepsy 5 years ago. It has progressed to the point where she has virtually no short term memory. Between the medications, marijuana use and surgeries she has no motivation. She will get up and put our daughter on the bus and go back to bed and sleep until 12:00-1:30 everyday. When she does get up she'll watch t.v. the rest of the day. I've tried cognitive rehabilitation programs, vocational rehabilitation, suggested charity work and just about anything else to get her engaged. But again she lacks the motivation and dismisses all the suggestion from me and the doctors. She seems content with her current situation. She's on disability and can not drive. I've lost any emotional connection with her as I am pretty much a caregiver to her now. We've had countless discussions about this but she does not remember. I'm the type of person who likes to be active and plans ahead so taking this day by day doesn't work for me anymore, especially after 5 years of this. Obviously I can't leave her but don't know how to handle this. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 (edited) Get yourself into a caregivers' support group. They often have them at local hospitals or churches. Find healthy outlets for yourself. While she is safe staying home alone -- albeit depressed & on the couch -- it's OK for you to engage in the world. If her safety changes, look into respite care. Edited January 30, 2020 by d0nnivain 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I agree with dOnnivain and maybe if she sees that you are getting out more it may motivate her to follow. She probably isn't used to you not being home for her so maybe that will wake her up a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I assume the pot use is supposedly helping her with her epilepsy? Do you believe that is effective? because continual pot use could certainly be contributing to her bad memory problems and certainly without fail her lack of motivation. So I would reassess all that if you haven't already. I mean the symptoms you describe sounds so much like pot head symptoms. But if she has to have it for epilepsy and they're sure about that, it sounds like at some point you're going to need to hire some support so you can have a life. Someone to take over some of your duties... Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 And if the marijuana is necessary for her epilepsy, what I just read and of course there's all kinds of opinions out there, since CBD oil would do the same thing and maybe it would do it without the side effects of lethargy and memory loss. Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Oh yes, there’s definitely truth to Afroman’s classic hit “Because I got high”. ‘I was gonna clean my room Until I got high I was gonna find the broom But then I got high.’ Every time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sour_Grapes Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Thank you all! I'm trying to get her to get off the MJ for a month as a test to see if her motivation and memory changes. I do have her on Epidiolex which is a pharmaceutical strength CBD. I also do take care of myself through beach vball and golf. I guess the part I miss most is having someone to share my life with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I’m really sorry about your situation. You are trying to do the right thing and that’s commendable. Much respect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 she's depressed man, take her to an MD 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sour_Grapes Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Thanks but we've been to Psychologist for years, and go to psychiatrist, neurologist and primary care on a regular basis. She's on 4 different meds for seizures and depression (I know all these in addition to the MJ are effecting her motivation). The problem is without the mood meds (Cymbalta and Latuda) is that she has a very bad temper that can get violent. I know I'm in a s***y situation but she has no one else to take care of her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 5 minutes ago, Sour_Grapes said: Thanks but we've been to Psychologist for years, and go to psychiatrist, neurologist and primary care on a regular basis. She's on 4 different meds for seizures and depression (I know all these in addition to the MJ are effecting her motivation). The problem is without the mood meds (Cymbalta and Latuda) is that she has a very bad temper that can get violent. I know I'm in a s***y situation but she has no one else to take care of her. so your wife has zero relatives? that's a shame Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sour_Grapes Posted January 30, 2020 Author Share Posted January 30, 2020 Just now, alphamale said: so your wife has zero relatives? that's a shame A few up in Ohio but her mom is older and lives with my wife's sister (who is also older in her 60's). Her brother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer and is in a home. I send her up there occasionally to get a break but that's only 2 weeks at time a couple times a year. We are way to young to be dealing with these issues!!! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 that's a tough situation SG, I suppose all that is left is to pray to God 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 You are a good guy. Hang in there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 I'm glad you're trying to get her off the MJ. I mean, truly procrastinating and no motivation and memory are the two big effects of it. Just know that the memory thing may stay with her because I'm an old hippie, and mj can definitely cause some permanent memory glitches. Going blank in particular, or forgetting why you went into the kitchen, things like that. And if she's doing it regular on TODAY's strength, jeez, it should be debilitating, so she needs to get unhigh and you should just speak to a seizure doctor about the CBD and whether substituting that will likely work and what he knows about side effects. I mean, this is a subject you can't really get much good info on Googling because it's mostly pot advocates out there promoting it instead of actual medical association things. But ask a doctor who treats her seizures. I mean, taking her off getting high HAS to be an improvement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Exactly. MJ is no wonder drug and can frequently cause more harm than good. The internet is full of potheads claiming all sorts to justify their own addiction... Wean her of it and you may very well get a bit of your wife back... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 30, 2020 Share Posted January 30, 2020 Here is the statement by the American Epilepsy Society: https://www.aesnet.org/clinical_resources/medical marjuana "Recently, important research data have emerged in the form of scientifically rigorous, double-blind randomized clinical trials on the use of a pharmaceutical formulation of purified, highly concentrated CBD for refractory epilepsy. These trials demonstrated that purified CBD is moderately more effective than placebo in the treatment of seizures in both Lennox-Gastaut syndrome (LGS) and Dravet syndrome. However, these trials showed that CBD has more side effects than placebo, and revealed previously un-recognized drug-drug interactions." So sounds like it's barely effective, if at all, and has lots of side effects. Here's the American Medical Association position on it: https://policysearch.ama-assn.org/policyfinder/detail/cannabis?uri=%2FAMADoc%2Fdirectives.xml-D-95.969.xml Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sour_Grapes Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, elaine567 said: Exactly. MJ is no wonder drug and can frequently cause more harm than good. The internet is full of potheads claiming all sorts to justify their own addiction... Wean her of it and you may very well get a bit of your wife back... That's going to be harder said then done. She will find something on the internet to supports her bias. The other day we talked about her giving it up for a month. I even had her right it down. Today coming back from the gym, I brought it up again and she was defensive and said she won't stop. She's been on the Epidiolex for about two months now. Her seizure pattern is pretty cyclical around the end of the month. She had one last month but has yet to have one this month. I don't think she will ever change and will continue to get worse. I've pretty much excepted that. Going back to my original post, I need to find a way to deal with it without it constantly getting under my skin. I need to except that when I come home from work that she will be sitting in that chair watching tv. Edited January 31, 2020 by Sour_Grapes Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Maybe she needs to go into rehab. One way to get her off of it at least temporarily to get a baseline on her would be first chance put her in the hospital and then see if they would cooperate with rehab. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostBF Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 "Maybe she needs to go into rehab." Rehab for pot? Thats funny! I think I would take my doctors advice. " I'm the type of person who likes to be active and plans ahead so taking this day by day doesn't work for me anymore, especially after 5 years of this." "I've lost any emotional connection with her as I am pretty much a caregiver to her now." Maybe you should just divorce her so that she can find a husband that will love her and not mind taking care of her "through sickness and health". WOW! Link to post Share on other sites
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