fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 I’m 45 and look great for my age. I dated this guy who said he was 52. A month later after I was starting to fall for him he told me he is 59! That’s 14 years older!! I’m so hurt and shocked. He looks great for his age but it the lieing and the fact he’s going into... old age... I’m so hurt and confused 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Grrr. Such a juvenile thing to do. I just do that so they can date younger women and apparently don't care if it's only temporary. Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) Age is only a number. 14 years is nothing. The having kids issue has sailed, so what's the big deal? So what if he lied about his age. People lie about things like that. That's a white lie in my book. His age shouldn't matter. It's like lying about your weight. What if you told him you weighed 125 lbs and then you tell him after a month you really weighed 135 pounds. Big deal. You look like you weigh 125 lbs.. Who cares? He looks 52. Much about nothing IMO. Don't let that ruin a possible nice compatible relationship. Age should be way down on the list IMO. Edited January 31, 2020 by Piddy 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 If age is only a number then what's the problem with giving the right age!! I have discovered if these people lie about their age then they'll easily lie about other things as well. One of my ex told me he was 40, one month later he told me he was 45. At the time I excused it thinking it's not a big deal, turns out he lied about many other things through our relationship. 5 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 He shaved 7 years off, but yes it makes a much bigger gap, so much so as to put him at a different life stage as to his trustworthiness, all depends on why and all else about him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 I hate people who lie about their age. If you'RE a 59 year old wanting to date a younger woman than just own who you are!! and give your age. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 13 minutes ago, Gaeta said: If age is only a number then what's the problem with giving the right age!! I have discovered if these people lie about their age then they'll easily lie about other things as well. One of my ex told me he was 40, one month later he told me he was 45. At the time I excused it thinking it's not a big deal, turns out he lied about many other things through our relationship. I agree. Total deal breaker in my book. A liar is a liar. He lied about his age because he knew you wouldn't date him if you knew the truth. A man who lies to trick you and gain an unfair advantage is not a man you can trust or build a future with. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 I also met him and presumed he was from the same town as me, I discovered on the first date he lives in another state 4,5 hours drive. We hung out and had fun for a while while he accommodated himself here in my town in the holidays him saying he wants to move here anyway for work. Then he drove here on Friday nights after work for two weeks just for a moment of my time, like what the heck! I have to get a baby sitter so it’s not like normal dating around the corner... All this doesn’t seem “normal” for me, he just says he’s terribly romantic and only has fallen in love twice... its just all to hard. Sadly I do connect with him but all this behaviour that’s popped up I can’t deal with. Who does that!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 48 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I hate people who lie about their age. If you'RE a 59 year old wanting to date a younger woman than just own who you are!! and give your age. Yeah I feel I was not given the chance or decision to say “no thanks” in which I would have!! I feel manipulated 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 55 minutes ago, SumGuy said: He shaved 7 years off, but yes it makes a much bigger gap, so much so as to put him at a different life stage as to his trustworthiness, all depends on why and all else about him And as he didn’t initially disclose his location as well, being in another state, that’s pretty hard to find out anything else about him!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 You were manipulated. This guy started his relationship with you by manipulating and lying to you. That's no foundation for anything. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 1 hour ago, Piddy said: Age is only a number. 14 years is nothing. The having kids issue has sailed, so what's the big deal? So what if he lied about his age. People lie about things like that. That's a white lie in my book. His age shouldn't matter. It's like lying about your weight. What if you told him you weighed 125 lbs and then you tell him after a month you really weighed 135 pounds. Big deal. You look like you weigh 125 lbs.. Who cares? He looks 52. Much about nothing IMO. Don't let that ruin a possible nice compatible relationship. Age should be way down on the list IMO. I think it is something, In ten years he will be 70. In five years possible retirement. How do I start building a future when there’s hardly anytime! Also I don’t want to be a career if anything, god forbid, happens in the near future! I’ve done enough caring to sink a ship, I need someone to care about me. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: You were manipulated. This guy started his relationship with you by manipulating and lying to you. That's no foundation for anything. Agree, I’m so sad I spent time away from my daughter for him, but at least I know I can date again finally after 8 years. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Yes, he tried to rob you of your ability to consider the real circumstances and make your own informed decision. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Quite frankly, its women who lie more about their age than men do..I'm sure if he's been dating, he could easily share many of those stories with you...The difference is that in this case, you believed he was 52...In many cases I have heard, the women who stated they were a size 4/6 wouldn't fit that if they were put on a deserted island for a year.. I get why you would be miffed.. And if you want to end it, so be it... But there are a lot of us out here that aren't really "typical"....I actually like telling people how old I am and watching peoples reaction....Maybe he is one of us, I dunno..but again, he should have been truthful... One thing to consider.... There is a distinct possibility you "hit the wall" at 50 and he keeps going strong....There are a lot of factors here..If all else is good, I don't see why you cant let it fly, but if you are really hung up on it, then its certainly your right to bail.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Back when I was doing online dating, men lied about their age and their height equally. Height is just comical. Age was just annoying. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 2 hours ago, Piddy said: Age is only a number. 14 years is nothing. The having kids issue has sailed, so what's the big deal? So what if he lied about his age. People lie about things like that. That's a white lie in my book. His age shouldn't matter. It's like lying about your weight. What if you told him you weighed 125 lbs and then you tell him after a month you really weighed 135 pounds. Big deal. You look like you weigh 125 lbs.. Who cares? He looks 52. Much about nothing IMO. Don't let that ruin a possible nice compatible relationship. Age should be way down on the list IMO. You seriously think lying about 14 years is worse than TEN POUNDS??? I had to read that three times. Women can gain 7 pounds in water weight in the days before her period!! Are you being serious!? 125-135 pounds???? Good LORD no wonder we women are so paranoid about our bodies!!!!! OK, really.....are you being serious? 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) Seriously, men suck. I had kindof come to the conclusion that my exH was an ass when he accused me of "letting myself go" if I gained 5-10 pounds (from a size 4-6). Now I see he's actually "normal." Ha. No wonder we develop emotional issues regarding our bodies. Edited January 31, 2020 by CautiouslyOptimistic 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 10 minutes ago, CautiouslyOptimistic said: Seriously, men suck. Ouch...😬 I dunno….Something tells me if the roles were reversed here all the women would be telling the guy to give her a shot...I dunno... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 The age isn't the real problem. It's the lying. Liars lie. About all kinds of things. Not a safe bet. My boyfriend is 55 to my 43. One of his first questions to me was how I feel about dating someone his age. What a novel idea, understanding and respecting that a woman knows what she wants better than a stranger does. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Just now, thefooloftheyear said: Ouch...😬 I dunno….Something tells me if the roles were reversed here all the women would be telling the guy to give her a shot...I dunno... TFY Absolutely not. A liar is a liar is liar - man or woman, liars cannot be trusted. Without trust, you cannot have real love. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Ouch...😬 I dunno….Something tells me if the roles were reversed here all the women would be telling the guy to give her a shot...I dunno... TFY I'm talking specifically about what Piddy said about 125-135 pounds. I don't know a single woman who would criticzize a man on TEN POUNDS.....or even 20. It's insulting to woman to be reduced to being worthy (or called a liar) based on a 10 pound weight discrepancy and shows what most men really have their brains focused on. It's gross. Ten pounds! Edited January 31, 2020 by CautiouslyOptimistic 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author fluffyfluff Posted January 31, 2020 Author Share Posted January 31, 2020 31 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said: Quite frankly, its women who lie more about their age than men do..I'm sure if he's been dating, he could easily share many of those stories with you...The difference is that in this case, you believed he was 52...In many cases I have heard, the women who stated they were a size 4/6 wouldn't fit that if they were put on a deserted island for a year.. I get why you would be miffed.. And if you want to end it, so be it... But there are a lot of us out here that aren't really "typical"....I actually like telling people how old I am and watching peoples reaction....Maybe he is one of us, I dunno..but again, he should have been truthful... One thing to consider.... There is a distinct possibility you "hit the wall" at 50 and he keeps going strong....There are a lot of factors here..If all else is good, I don't see why you cant let it fly, but if you are really hung up on it, then its certainly your right to bail.. TFY I can defiantly see your points, it’s a lot to take in when I wasn’t expecting it. I never tell my weight to people 😂 I’ve never been asked. The maturity dynamic works well for me we get along famously. It’s just well... a lot... Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 If you keep seeing him, I bet you a million dollars you'll uncover more lies within weeks. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: If you keep seeing him, I bet you a million dollars you'll uncover more lies within weeks. Oh, I agree. I can only remember two men I went on dates with from online dating who lied about their age. One walked in with a cane and missing a finger (I never asked). The other was an attorney who had a beater car he said was a rental because his other car was in the shop. Uh huh. Ok. I went on two dates with him, then Googled him to find out all about his legal troubles and being disbarred/suspended (I forget the actual terminology) because of his mental/emotional problems. I'm really good at Internet detective work so "you" can't get by me. I'm actually still friends with that guy on Facebook and he seems happy, although he is totally gaunt and definitely looking his age! I'm not young, but if I was in the dating game I'd have no problem dating an older man. But I would want him to be honest about his age. Old is better than a liar, right? Edited January 31, 2020 by CautiouslyOptimistic 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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