royaljoke4u Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Well its been a year now that I found out that my wife of 26 yrs had a ten month affair, at 1st I freaked out and tryed to kill myself , from that night on my kids found out ,friends found out, a complete imbarrsment for my wife.All of that terriable night ended with her and I having major surgerys. What I am trying to say here is Our family has suffered so much and the OM gets off almost scott free. I did let his wife know some details and have let his inlaws and folks know that he has donw this to us. Sure this is not is first time,he had the nerve to tell me its not my right to get into his familys life and he will take legal action. My problem is I still want to get even and my wife wants me to let it go. My wife and I are doing so well together but if I stir trouble to him she will freak out on me. she states she wants to prtect OUR family.I grew up with the thought if something this bad happens the OM needs his Ass kicked, Whats your take on this? Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 First of all please don't try to kill yourself over this, its not worth it. Also I think you and your wife need to figure out what you really want to do. If you both want to work on saving this marraige then get into some marriage counseling ASAP. If you don't want to work it out then get out of the situation. As far as this other man goes, you need to leave him alone. I understand you're upset/hurt etc, but getting revenge on him is not going to solve anything at this point. The damage has already been done from the affair, so its time to either work it out with your wife and begin the healing process, or you need to move on. Getting back at the other man with only make things worse. Good luck. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Please don't hurt yourself on some damn body is worth it !! Don't you think more of yourself than that? Twp wrongs don't make a right just leave the situation and if it is meant to be she will back if not she never was yours!!! Good luck hope it all works out Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Forgive, and forget. He'll get his, and your wife is and will continue to get hers. Sometimes, you just have to sit back and be patient. In the mean time, don't waste your energy festering over this, it'll age you. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Yes he will .. karma always comes back Moose Link to post Share on other sites
slubberdegullion Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Sure, go ahead and thump the guy. If you are really bent on getting an assault charge and possibly ending up in jail to be a girlfriend of a behemoth named Rocky or No-Neck, then yea... open up a can of whup-ass on him. (Note to the literal-minded: The above is a joke.) Offing yourself isn't an option either. Go see a doctor; there's no weakness in admitting that you're having trouble moving on. You don't have to forgive the guy, at least not yet, because right now it may feel like you're letting the dude off the hook. But in good time you'll realize that forgiveness has precious little to do with him, and everything to do with you. In the meantime, keep on keeping on. Sure, it's tough, but you've been through worse. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 If you want to keep your marriage, do so. And if you do, ignore the OM. My hat's off to you for telling his family. Don't worry about his impotent threats to "take legal action"; he's pissing into the wind and he knows it. If you really must do something else, then send him a letter or email warning him (without specifying a consequence) that he is not welcome on your property. That way you may be justified in kicking his ass if he comes to your home. Other than that, work on your marriage. I know it's tough, but if you want the marriage, that's where you should focus your energy. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 You did the right thing by telling his family. It's the only way to completely end the affair and make sure that it won't start up again. There are consquences to actions and the OM now knows this. Don't let him scare you, I agree with Resdog, he's just blowing smoke on this one. I hope things get better and don't give up. You love your wife and if you feel she's worth the fight, don't ever give up! Link to post Share on other sites
portableversion Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I'd say go for it. Go to the INfidelity and OW/OM threads...you'll see how often it is that men keep sniffing around their mistresses, and in this case, YOUR WIFE is the mistress. There is a very good chance he'll try to get back in her pants. Thus, he needs either an asskicking or a good warning-nothing else will motivate him to stay away. You have to protect what is yours, and by this I mean, YOUR FAMILY. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Don't let OM cost you one more thing....not a busted knuckle, not an arrest record. He's already taken enough from you. He's sooooooo not worth your time. As far as his threats to haul you into court go..... they're empty. It might be different if you were telling lies, but since you're not, I can't imagine that he'd have any case at all. Cheaters ALWAYS go ballistic when they're exposed. You did the right thing. Exposure goes a long way to ending affairs. But...on the off chance he does decide to try and sue you..... PLEASE post us the court transcripts. We always appreciate a good laugh here at LS. "Your honor, the defendant Mr. Royaljoke4u told my wife and other family members that I was having an adulterous affair with Mrs. Royaljoke4u. This has hurt my reputation, and caused me quite a bit of irritation." "Mr. OM, were you in fact having an adulterous affair with Mrs. Royaljoke4u?" "Yes sir, I was but......" {judge bangs gavel and precedes to tell Mr. OM how floridly stupid he is} Anyway, your best bet is to leave OM completely alone. Exposure is accomplished, so there's really no reason at all to interact with him. I'm not a lawyer, but I think it's too late now to plead temporary insanity. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 I know the anger you feel right now, it's not a healthy way to live you life. I have to agree. Let this OM go. You wont gain anything by kicking his a$$ and could possibly end up in jail, he is not worth it. He's def not worth ending your life for. If you want to work on your M make that your main focus, not this jerk of a man. I also felt the same anger you did towards my H's exOW. They were co-workers and started an EA a few months b4 he filed for a D. He claims she had nothing to do w/ the D, we were just both unhappy. A week later she filed for a D from her own H. What a coincidence huh? Anyhow, I was angry at both of them, especially her since she persued him for years. I went through the same feelings as you. I wanted to take H's precious baseball bat to her car, I wanted to beat the he!! out of her and always had dreams of kicking her @ss. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. I probably would of ended up in jail and my H would of been taking care of our children and possibly w/ the OW. NO way in he!! I was going to allow her to come near my kids. I didn't even want her and H talking about them. I couldn't stand her. Thought she was my friend (or at least she tried to be) and then she stabs me in the back and sleeps w/ my H. I wont get into the whole story. I know the hurt, the pain, and the anger your feeling but it's time to let this OM go. I know it's hard, he!! I was still having those thoughts a year after my H's A so I really can't say much now that I think of it. He will hopefully, and I say hopefully, get his one day. I still haven't seen the exOW get hers yet. I know she was dating a guy for 2 years after H broke it off w/ her to work on our M. He broke it off w/ her recently. I can't honestly say if she was hurt or not, but from what I know about her she probably just went on her way and found some other guy to screw. She knew the pain and hurt she put me through and she didn't care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author royaljoke4u Posted October 7, 2005 Author Share Posted October 7, 2005 I know the anger you feel right now, it's not a healthy way to live you life. I have to agree. Let this OM go. You wont gain anything by kicking his a$$ and could possibly end up in jail, he is not worth it. He's def not worth ending your life for. If you want to work on your M make that your main focus, not this jerk of a man. I also felt the same anger you did towards my H's exOW. They were co-workers and started an EA a few months b4 he filed for a D. He claims she had nothing to do w/ the D, we were just both unhappy. A week later she filed for a D from her own H. What a coincidence huh? Anyhow, I was angry at both of them, especially her since she persued him for years. I went through the same feelings as you. I wanted to take H's precious baseball bat to her car, I wanted to beat the he!! out of her and always had dreams of kicking her @ss. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do. I probably would of ended up in jail and my H would of been taking care of our children and possibly w/ the OW. NO way in he!! I was going to allow her to come near my kids. I didn't even want her and H talking about them. I couldn't stand her. Thought she was my friend (or at least she tried to be) and then she stabs me in the back and sleeps w/ my H. I wont get into the whole story. I know the hurt, the pain, and the anger your feeling but it's time to let this OM go. I know it's hard, he!! I was still having those thoughts a year after my H's A so I really can't say much now that I think of it. He will hopefully, and I say hopefully, get his one day. I still haven't seen the exOW get hers yet. I know she was dating a guy for 2 years after H broke it off w/ her to work on our M. He broke it off w/ her recently. I can't honestly say if she was hurt or not, but from what I know about her she probably just went on her way and found some other guy to screw. She knew the pain and hurt she put me through and she didn't care. Thank you all for your advice, Although I would like to whop him or hire someone, it would all come back to me I`m afraid, Why HE WOULD EVER PICK ON A MARRIED WOMEN I`LL NEVER KNOW ! At this point I would like to expose to this wife,child,inlaws,parents all of the Hardcopy in his own words that I have. Let them read the real dirty way he is! IS this legal enough for me to do? Without any legal actions for spreading the truth,,after that I think I could rest,,,I`d leave his child out of it,,but my children found out the night I tried to comment death to myself,,Our family has been thur hell,,Should I? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 I do think you need some help. Not only marriage counselling to help repair the marriage but one on one therapy for you. You tried to commit suicide and your children unfortunately were around...That is more than you can handle, so please talk to your doctor about getting in to see someone professional. They will help you cope and deal with the awful feelings you have right now. Don't kick OM's butt! I know you want to, and yeah, he deserves it! But, the best way of getting back at him is to ignore and not react. His family knows wtf he did and now I'm sure he'll have his consquences...What goes around, comes around... Feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
mopar crazy Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 Thank you all for your advice, Although I would like to whop him or hire someone, it would all come back to me I`m afraid, Why HE WOULD EVER PICK ON A MARRIED WOMEN I`LL NEVER KNOW ! At this point I would like to expose to this wife,child,inlaws,parents all of the Hardcopy in his own words that I have. Let them read the real dirty way he is! IS this legal enough for me to do? Without any legal actions for spreading the truth,,after that I think I could rest,,,I`d leave his child out of it,,but my children found out the night I tried to comment death to myself,,Our family has been thur hell,,Should I? I really don't think it's illegal to expose him to his W, inlaws, or parents, but I would leave the inlaws and parents out of it, and especially his children. I think the W should know, even if you do it anoymously (sp). I never exposed the exOW. Her H was the one that came to me. Reality really hit when he showed up asking me ?'s about it. And even though it was hard to hear what he had to say, and had proof of their A I really did appreciated it. I even talked to her mil and she told me a lot about the exOW (boy, she is a real winner). If you are still thinking about ending your life I really think you need to seek counseling. I hope things get better for you. This man is not worth ending your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Topper Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 I Know how you feel. I was in your position a few years ago. Like you I would also love to get revenge. You need to find an outlet for all that pain and anger. You need to get some professional help and find an outlet for all those emotions. Otherwize this whole thing will eat you alive. Link to post Share on other sites
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