ElizaO Posted January 31, 2020 Share Posted January 31, 2020 Hi! At work, there is a nice man that I would like to know better. He reminds me of my brother actually and he makes me smile when I see him. We have been working together in the same office for five years, and all this time I have been in a committed relationship. I am still in this relationship, although it's not a very happy one at the moment. I spend more time with friends nowadays (old friends from childhood, etc). I have always had many male friends (I am female) and that is totally fine with my partner. The thing is that I really would like to know my colleague better but I realize that he might think that I want a relationship with him if we start talking. He is single, I believe, but I'm not completely sure. During meetings at work, I have noticed that he usually sits beside me or right in front of me, and he smiles and looks at me quite often. Sometimes it's That Look, you know, and sometimes it's really casual. He has initiated lunches together with a couple of other colleagues, but usually we don't eat together. When I am sick he usually sends a Get well soon-message to me, but we don't usually talk or meet outside of work. Sometimes he seems rather nervous when he talks to me, especially when we are alone. He also stands rather close to me sometimes, which seems unusual for him. He is great to talk with, and I really enjoy his company. Is it better just to let it go? I really would love to have another friend to talk things over with and who could come with me to the theater or the like. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 I don't want offend you Eliza but it sounds to me like you want to monkey branch. This doesn't sound like someone who wants a new friendship. Instead you are responding to signals from a single guy who appears interested in you at a time when you are in a low spot with your committed relationship. Sorry, but that's how you are coming to across to me. First off you should reconsider taking up with a coworker. I know these things can work out. I've had friends who met at work but my overall impression is that when things go bad it makes the workplace a stressful experience. Second - don't diminish your integrity by lying to yourself about your current relationship. Either work at saving it or let it go. Don't create a huge drama situation that you will regret looking back on. If you can get free and clear then your new friend awaits you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 On 2/1/2020 at 4:07 AM, ElizaO said: I am still in this relationship, although it's not a very happy one at the moment. How being "Friends" with this man going to help with your unhappy relationship? Help you exit it? Yes. Help you destroy it? Yes. Help you crush someone's feeling and self confidence that you use to love and care for deeply? Yes. Get out of your unhappy relationship first. Female hypergamy at it's finest, always looking to upgrade to someone better. Mother nature says you must, but have a little consideration for your partner's feelings, confidence and self worth and end the unhappy relationship first if for nothing else as a good bye gift. You use to really care for him at one time, show a little mercy one last time. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 You are not happy because your attention, and the attention you are getting from him is pulling you away....because it's appealing to you ATM. Soooooo, how you are feeling is a disillusion. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 On 1/31/2020 at 3:07 PM, ElizaO said: I really would love to have another friend to talk things over with and who could come with me to the theater or the like. Since you already have a boyfriend can't you make a female friend to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
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