Jump to content

FWB vs Sex Buddies


VioletVelvet

Recommended Posts

4 hours ago, stillafool said:

I would imagine one reason being a friend you want to keep and not hurt their feelings if and when you decide to get into a relationship or get another f+++buddy.  Actually they just say Friends with benefits really meaning you're my friend because you give me sexual benefits with no expectations.  Not really a friend. 

You're right, there are good reasons to not have NSA sex with a friend.

Yes, the term FWB often gets used incorrectly I think - if referring to someone who's not really a friend. I'd call that a F***buddy not FWB

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I mean.... It's not like any of these terms are defined in the Webster's dictionary nor in the lexicon of psychiatric terms.

It's kinda free for those in the relationship to call it what they like.

I had a two year relationship in college that I called my "FWB". Did we hang out in the same social circle? Go out to the movies together? Call each other to chit chat about the day? Nope.

Did we have a very candid relationship where we talked about our wants, desires, fears, and insecurities? Yep. Did we talk about deep stuff we weren't comfortable disclosing to our same sex friends - yep. Are they things I would talk to a platonic male friend about? No way.

I suppose he wasn't a friend in the traditional sense in that we didn't go to parties together, or talk about class and work etc (well not much,I actually do recall him talking about work).

But we had a relationship that was perfect for us at that point in our lives. Very fulfilling explorative sex. Intimacy in talking about deep things, revealing vulnerabilities. But always a strong boundary and a clear understanding that we weren't nor did we desire to be a couple.

I cared a lot more about him, and his happiness than a guy I would just F' but it was also very different than romantic love.

It was an interesting experience that really shaped me in some positive ways that I am so thankful for.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
43 minutes ago, RecentChange said:

I mean.... It's not like any of these terms are defined in the Webster's dictionary nor in the lexicon of psychiatric terms.

It's kinda free for those in the relationship to call it what they like.

I had a two year relationship in college that I called my "FWB". Did we hang out in the same social circle? Go out to the movies together? Call each other to chit chat about the day? Nope.

Did we have a very candid relationship where we talked about our wants, desires, fears, and insecurities? Yep. Did we talk about deep stuff we weren't comfortable disclosing to our same sex friends - yep. Are they things I would talk to a platonic male friend about? No way.

I suppose he wasn't a friend in the traditional sense in that we didn't go to parties together, or talk about class and work etc (well not much,I actually do recall him talking about work).

But we had a relationship that was perfect for us at that point in our lives. Very fulfilling explorative sex. Intimacy in talking about deep things, revealing vulnerabilities. But always a strong boundary and a clear understanding that we weren't nor did we desire to be a couple.

I cared a lot more about him, and his happiness than a guy I would just F' but it was also very different than romantic love.

It was an interesting experience that really shaped me in some positive ways that I am so thankful for.

Actually Mirriam-Webster does have a definition! 

"friend with benefits

noun phrase

Definition of friend with benefits

: a friend with whom one has casual sexual relations without commitments

First Known Use of friend with benefits

1997, in the meaning defined above"

 

Yours sounds like the perfect FWB situation. Mine was quite similar. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Friends with Benefits is when a person is actually "friends" with the other party, they run in the same social circle, friends of friends know that person, they are seen out in public and maybe pictures surface on social media, they hang out ..like outside the bedroom. F**k buddies just f**ck, things stay in the bedroom, and never leave the bedroom, they are not really friends, the y don't ever "hang out" on friday/saturday nights with lets say a group of friends or even a party..nothing. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

My understanding is fwb are closer and do more things together and f buddy are more casual. Though there are exceptions and some people use them interchangeably. I feel like there should be something called cuddle buddies, but that’s just me. 

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Suffice it to say that the above mentioned fwb, fbuddies.........they are both half-baked relationships with people settling, and not worth your time. I would not do it.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/1/2020 at 4:57 AM, basil67 said:

I’ve been with my ONS for nearly thirty years.  What category are we?  (Not that I’m judging)

 

Now, Basil, it wasn't a one-night stand if you continued to date.  It was just first-date sex.  

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, preraph said:

Now, Basil, it wasn't a one-night stand if you continued to date.  It was just first-date sex.  

 - Exactly

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/1/2020 at 7:11 AM, Kyra said:

I'm surprised you would consider sex with someone who was just a f***-buddy but not with a friend. That seems odd to me. Can you explain? Perhaps it's because you're not attracted to your friends? It does take a certain kind of friendship I guess

 

Yes, something like that.  If I am attracted to a person, they're not just a friend if I'm having sex with them.  They're a romantic interest.  If I were mad attracted to them and liked them that much, to me, that's a love interest, not a FWB, and if that goes two ways, it's a love match. I agree FWB is a misleading term.  If they are merely an acquaintance that is fun in bed, but not someone I want loitering around afterward because of whatever reason, that's not really a "friend."  That's an f buddy.  

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
On 2/1/2020 at 7:54 AM, VioletVelvet said:

I actually know a woman who has had the same FWB for over 10 years. 

That just sounds like a longterm affair.  A shorter one of those would just be a "nonserious boyfriend."

Edited by preraph
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...