Allupinnit Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 2 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said: Well unfortunately, I have to see her at least 2 days out of the week because not only is she the president of the club i'm in but she's also a TA in one of my classes i'm in. That means I have no choice but to stay in contact with her because if I ever need any help with a project, she's the person I have to talk to. So I have to suck it up and just ignore her; i'm pretty sure she's thinking the same thing about me. Dude, don't ignore her. If you guys make eye contact, just say a friendly hello and go about your business. Ignoring her is childish and just going to make your situation 100x more awkward. Treat her as if you would anyone else in the club - fake it til you make it. Unfortunately that's what happens when you decide to hit on someone you have to see on a regular basis. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuitarGuy7 Posted February 5, 2020 Author Share Posted February 5, 2020 1 hour ago, Allupinnit said: Unfortunately that's what happens when you decide to hit on someone you have to see on a regular basis. I wasn't even hitting on her. Just trying to be friendly. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Your lizard brain probably meant to - but regardless, the key here is her perception. What she THINKS you were trying to do is what shapes her perception of you and your behavior. It seems like that's not sinking in just yet - that she probably misread your intentions because of how you acted and what you said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuitarGuy7 Posted February 5, 2020 Author Share Posted February 5, 2020 5 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said: Your lizard brain probably meant to - but regardless, the key here is her perception. What she THINKS you were trying to do is what shapes her perception of you and your behavior. It seems like that's not sinking in just yet - that she probably misread your intentions because of how you acted and what you said. You have a point. It doesn't really matter what I think my intentions are, it matters what SHE thinks my intentions are. Because at the end of the day, as much as we like to think we are good at reading people and situations, things can get misinterpreted. An example might be if a girl is hugging me and I interpret it as interest but in reality, she's just a naturally touchy person and doesn't see me that way at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 The other side of all of this, one sperg to another, is that you also have to watch out for predatory women. I ended up marrying and procreating with a man who was so bad for me and pretty awful to me, because my own awkwardness made me feel probably pretty close to the way you feel when stuff like this happens. I thought I was probably doomed to be alone forever. I considered being a nun. And he showed SO MUCH INTEREST in me. And then he took me for some kinda ride. And I'm like, a literal genius guys (or was - each child I gestated made me subsequently and permanently dumber), so I should have known better. Oh, hello, gaping blind spot in social/emotional awareness. Please kindly bite me, as I see you have already taken the liberty of doing so. Good day. 🧐 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 On 2/3/2020 at 9:44 PM, GuitarGuy7 said: I’ve been starting to ignore her; and if she talks to me, I’m judt going to give her a taste of he own medicine. The book my customer was quoting to us a few days ago is 'From Anxiety to Meltdown: How Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Deal with Anxiety, Experience Meltdowns, Manifest Tantrums, and How You Can Intervene Effectively' by Deborah Lipsky. When you use an expression like 'give her a taste of her own medicine' you are expressing your frustration, but you see how others will interpret that ( negatively ) by the responses here. If this girl is going to be a teaching assistant and club president then she needs to learn how to handle social situations better just as you do, but what is important is you focus on you and your social development. The only person you can change is you. If you keep your distance with her except where you have to deal with her ( and keep that to a minimum of practical conversation exchanges, not trying to be friends ) that gives her a 'comfort zone' to adjust to you and whatever it is about you that is making her anxious. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 There is also how close are you when you talk to her or someone. That personal distance is a thing most people don't consciously register. anything less than a good a meter or 4' can be too close, it is a personal space factor and can be a creepy factor. Just how close people stand to each other can say a lot. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GuitarGuy7 Posted February 5, 2020 Author Share Posted February 5, 2020 Guys, stop replying to this thread. Help me out with my next post. Link to post Share on other sites
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