sweetsurrender Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I've been kicking it with this guy for over a year now. We've been long distance friends, we live an hour apart. We had already known eachother before we exchanged numbers and immediately confessed that we'd both liked eachother beforehand just never said anything. Two weekends ago, I was in town and he took me to the movies and talked in the car after the show outside my hotel. We were talking about his ex, and I made a comment that it was messed up how she did him. He replied back, none of my homegirls like her. I thought that put me in the same category as his homegirl. I was like, "Homegirl?" He told me I took it the wrong way, he didn't mean me. But by then, I was hurt. He gestured for me to kiss him bye, and I didn't. I just got out the car and walked away. The thing is, we don't act like homies at all. We made out the first time I went to see him after going out to dinner with his family. He's always been the person who seemed like he liked me, I think more than I have shown my feelings with him. We tell eachother we miss the other, he will make time to talk to me, he surprised me at work once when he was in my hometown...basically our relationship has been friends that have not entertained anything more b/c we both are always busy and we live a distance apart. I always thought that we'd be a couple if somehow, someway, we were closer in proximity. Anyway, after our date and his comment I sent him an email about how I felt. I gave him a few days to respond and I got none. A few days later I saw he sent me a forward thru email. So I texted him to see if he'd read my email. He replied Yes. I then replied, well i'll take the hint that since you didn't respond you don't intend to respond. He texted me back, no not right now. I gave him few more days cuz I know he was touring. Still no response. A few days ago, I sent him some light hearted joking messages asking what he was up to, and I didn't know we wouldn't be speaking, and he did respond back that he was tired and busy. Last night, I left him a message on his vmail, asking him to respond to my 10,000 word essay of an email I sent, even if it was just a word or a sentence saying what he thought. He never called back. I know he's leaving today to tour for the weekend again. Why is he avoiding the topic? I'm not asking to be his g/f, just want to know if he likes me and feels the same as I do? Is it possible, that he's won't call until he's ready to talk about this. It would be different if we didn't kiss or be all affectionate in public, but we are? He more than I. I miss him so much. If I woulda known he'd react this way and be all silent, I would've waited until I saw him the next time. Please help me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetsurrender Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 This is really bothering me. Why is it that guys after they've been hurt, run from relationships with women they know they are interested in all to hold on to the hurt of a past breakup/f*up. The thing is with me though, I just want him to say, Yes. I like you too. And one day after some things get straight maybe we can be together. I've fallen for a guy who I've been kicking it with long distance for over a year now. I finally realize how I feel and send him an email, and he hasn't responded yet. That was a week and a half ago. I know he likes me. Was I supposed to know that I was the girl he likes, but never had intentions of being with cuz he's scared I'll f* over him too? We texted eachotehr a couple of times a few days ago, light conversation, but I know he's not calling me cuz he doesn't want to talk about the email. Men talk about women having their guards up. But what about men who do the same? It's totally unfair...I miss him so damn much! Link to post Share on other sites
Juliet2 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 It seems you are getting excuses and avoidence. I think actions speak louder than any words he could tell you. I think you know deep down you have your answer (without a word spoken by him on the subject) even if he is mildly into you...how he is treating you is cold and careless. Find a more worthy honey who cares about your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
missmolly Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I agree with Juliet. If you went out of your way to express your concerns to him in a massive email and he hasn't made any effort to respond to it, what would happen if you REALLY needed him in the future. If he was worth it, he'd take a chance on you. Link to post Share on other sites
jadedalways645 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Yeah, I know it seems juvenile but when feelings come into play it can be a tricky thing. I've done the same thing and you get hurt and the first instinct is to hurt them back. But I would always disappear for a minute then when I got myself back together, I would return. But it's hard for some guys (myself included). Maybe he is like me and doesn't really get feelings but when he does it's intense and when you play with those, you feel betrayed. My problem was my thinking made me think this is just another girl who will just toy with me then when they find someone else, they will be gone. But there is no universal truth so everybody is different. If he has a shred of maturity and there really was something there, he will return. Trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sweetsurrender Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 I know this whole him not calling situation has just opened my eyes to something that i could have never imagined him doing. I thought it was such a simple task to read my email and respond, there would've been no bad response if he wasn't feeling it b/c I know how busy he always is and I'm trying to get myself back on track myself. I just wanted to be an adult and address my feelings toward him so he could know how I felt and v/v. I didn't intend on going any length of time without us speaking. It's so funny, b/c I never knew he even had it in him to avoid me. But, you have to test a person to really see all of their edges. I've even put myself in his shoes and thought about how I'd react if someone who liked me but I was only interested in as friends sent me an email expressing their feelings and caught me off guard, would I just ignore/avoid them. The answer is straight up, NO! I would call them as soon as I could to discuss it b/c for no other reason, it's their feelings and I wouldn't want to put that off being important to them. But, men and women are obviously different. I know that he is busy and it's been a week, it feels like longer but when I thought about it it's been a week today. It just mind boggles me how he could treat me so random when we were friends more than anything else. And Oh My God! If I'd given in to him and had sex with him and he did this to me, I would feel so hurt and used right now. It's obvious that he doesn't want to deal with this convo for his own reasons but what about not thinking about yourself and talk b/c I want to talk about b/c it's important to me, your friend, the person who you claim you miss so much and the person who you don't want to move to GA b/c your trying to move closer to me so we can try something out. I question everything he's ever said to me. How could something so simple to me be so complex for him? I'm not calling him though, JADED, thx for the male perspective. You are right, he will call. I am so confused, b/c I know I meant something to him, I know it, even thru him not calling I have no doubts, and I know that he will call. But, by then, I'm sure I'll have an attitude with him. Every day he doesn't call my understanding decreases exponentially and my disappointment/anger grows by the same amount. If I hear something, I will definitely let you guys know. Thx again! Link to post Share on other sites
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