Insta tragedy

[ari365]

So, recently my bf has started to follow these Instagram models, and at first it didn’t bother me because, I’m a bi female so I follow a few myself. But it has gotten to the point where his following list is almost completely filled with these types of accounts. I watched his following count go from 60 something to nearly 100 within a few hours.

Another thing is that, he’s literally dedicating his entire day looking for new ones to follow and liking photos, whenever he’s not with me. No, he’s not commenting on their photos or whatever, it’s just the fact that he spends all day on Instagram looking at this stuff and hardly anything else.

I feel it’s also important to note that this isn’t the first time I’ve had to be concerned about him being infatuated with other women. (He previously thought messaging someone for nudes was acceptable.)

I just don’t know whether to be concerned or upset at this? Is this in some way disrespectful?? Please help, thank you!

[JTSW]

Hell yes you should be upset and concerned about this.

It's highly disrespectful and hurtful.

He has an addiction to other women and this is never likely to stop.

Messaging other women in a sexual manner is a form of cheating.

I can guarantee that he is physically cheating too.

Ditch this guy.

[preraph]

All I can tell you is that under no circumstances would I even stay with a person who was on Instagram all day, much less whose sole pursuit was looking at models. He sounds pretty vacant between the ears.

[ElecLibre]

This is a major warning sign, he is getting accustomed to looking at these women all the time and it normalizes the behavior in his mind the more he does it.

[mark clemson]

Looking at women is normal. Looking at women all day is not. One can debate whether porn addiction is a real thing, but all day sure sounds like an addiction of some form.

As the SO, you decide what boundaries are acceptable to you. If the messaging is ok with you, it's ok with you. That said, I suspect it would not be at all ok with many, many people. Many would consider it cheating and grounds for ending the relationship.

I don't know if he's had a physical affair (PA) or not, but if you let boundaries start to slip too much, eventually they might start slipping even more.

If dating is try outs for a marriage or LTR, well, I can tell you right now, I don't think this is the wagon you want to hitch your star to...

[Silver_star]

He sounds sleazy. His behavior/actions speak volumes about his character. I think given opportunity to cheat he would take it, if he has not already.

 Even if he was single, asking for nudes to instagram strangers is creepy and pervy as hell. 

[preraph]

All my life I've seen women, including myself, trying to not rock the boat with some guy and not setting boundaries about that type of stuff, trying to be "cool" and one of the guys about it.  That will get you nothing but guys who sleep around and think it's okay with you or don't even view you as more than a friend.  Guys don't respect someone who acts like they think it's okay when they're on their worst behavior, because they assume the worst about your own behaviors.  

[basil67]

13 hours ago, ari365 said:

it’s just the fact that he spends all day on Instagram looking at this stuff and hardly anything else.

Bigger question is why you'd be with someone who clearly doesn't have a job or do anything productive.

[PinkFlamingo]

I try not to judge people's hobbies, even when they strike me as weird or boring, to each his own, but looking at hot girls on Instagram all day long? He really sounds dumb.