Clementine2020 Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 Hi, I have been in a gay relationship with a guy for almost 1 year! We met two years ago, started dating for one month then he told me he can't do it, we stopped contacting for a while then got back as friends! He used to flirt with me when we were friends, I asked him if we would be together one day and he said not and never! Then I started to move on and decreasing contacting with him, However, he started chasing me and after many months he shocked me that he loved me and wanted to be together! We started a relationship, It was my first but it was not his first! It was not amazing relationship but it was good, and once he told me that I was the best guy he had ever dated and that's I was the most one he loved and the most one who understood and took care of him and his issues and insecurities! A year later, he asked for a break because he said he was not feeling well to be in a relationship , and the break lasted four months with no intimacy at all, he said he was not feeling well to be intimate with anyone(including sex), but he used to cry so much if I stopped contacting him in the break phase, or if I told him that we wouldn't be friends in case we broke up, he was insisting too much on the friendship cause he didn't want to lose me!! After 3 months of the break, I told him that I need a final decision from him after maximum one month because it's too much, and I told him that I won't be able to contact with him again in case we broke up, he cried and agreed to give a final decision after a month. However, he started to be cold and mean, and he started to hurt me and make me cry so much by his words and behaviors. At the end and after one month, he said he wanted to breakup, I cried a lot and begged him too much for another chance, he refused but finally he agreed, And after two day , I found him with another gay guy (they might be dating or just hooking up and I am not sure if it's serious ) and we fought then he dumped me, I begged and cried too much and I contacted him two weeks after the breakup to get him back, he said it's over and we will never be together again! and he said that he started seeing others and he said "I am different person now, I can't be with neither emotionally nor sexually , and stop making me feel guilty and throwing your garbage on me, I am having a new life and I don't want any garbage in it" I was so shocked by what he said, I told him sorry for bothering and I promise you will never hear from me again! then I went NC(NO CONTACT) three weeks ago and still doing it! Last week he posted a song on Instagram which I sent to him on our last day together, and he posted a video on Instagram too saying that he misses someone, he is not sure if he will see them again, and he loved them so much and had good time with them!! I am sure he doesn't want me back, but I don't get his point from such things! I mean the Instagram stories thing! Any advises? I want him back so badly and sometimes I think to be friend with him to get him back(Especially because he is really into being friends cause he doesn't want to lose me completely ), while other times I think it would be better going NC! And why you think he posted such things when he doesn't want me back? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 Stay away from this guy. He's hurt you over and over again, there's no reason to believe he will do any different in the future. He might want to see if he can get you back again, purely for his ego. He's proven he doesn't care how his selfishness hurts you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted February 4, 2020 Share Posted February 4, 2020 I agree with FMW. This guy just reels you in when he wants company and adoration and then drops you again. He is not a good guy. You deserve so much better. He sounds very manipulative and unkind. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 5, 2020 Share Posted February 5, 2020 Yeah, it sounds like this guy can't figure out what he wants. He may have some of the traits of a narcissistic personality disorder. Do yourself a favor and move on. If he tries to reel you back in once again, resist the lure. Find someone who's emotionally healthy for you instead of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Clementine2020 Posted February 5, 2020 Author Share Posted February 5, 2020 Thanks for your reply! Do you think he might come back one day? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 If he has narcissist tendencies it's very likely he'll come back. Google "narcissist hoovering" (spelled with 2 o's that's not a typo). Hoover was once a very popular brand of vacuum cleaner... Link to post Share on other sites
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