He went back to his wife after a year together !

[hajk]

1 hour ago, texasgreeneyes said:

Hey Becca! I’m new to posting here and read through all of this thread not too long ago! I had a few questions for you, but was wondering if there’s a messaging feature on here? 

Hi Texasgreeneyes, I believe in order to send/receive private messages, you need to have at least 50 posts and your user account has been 30 days.  If you don't want to wait, you can also pay for premium membership to gain instant access to send and receive private messages for new members.

https://www.loveshack.org/subscriptions/

[sandylee1]

15 hours ago, Beca L said:

Thanks Sandylee for all your comments. I pretty much agree with everything you have said and my counsellor also came up with a similar conclusion. XMM also admits that what happened with his own parents severely affected him and is one of the reasons why he's desperate not to divorce and cause the same problems for his own sons. I can understand that however his boys are 19, 23, 25 and all live away from home and support themselves. He was 16/17 when his mum left and still at school. I don't think they would be affected in the same way as he was. 

In regards to your comments about my children being teased at school. I don't think kids at school realised that he'd left his wife for me. Other kids just commented that your mum is going out with Mr .... !!! and this was embarrassing. My kids don't really know that we had an affair, they just know we had a relationship then he went back to his wife. They are still young my children and I don't think they know or understand everything. However I accept that in some ways I have not been the best role model and I have learnt a big lesson that I won't repeat.

The whole thing is a terrible mess and still causes me pain. It's been 14 weeks NC and yes now schools are closed it will be easier but also its hard knowing he's isolated at home with her. I wonder how they are coping ? I wish I could just forget him but I feel terribly let down and deceived. The rejection eats away at me and I can't understand how after all his declarations of love to me he still remains with her. Anyway it's only been a week, maybe as the time goes by I may start to make progress. September is a long way away so hopefully time will be on my side. 

Thanks again. How are you coping with isolation ? were you in an A ? are you in NC? 

Let's hope the schools reopen in September. 

I just read your comm about feeling rejected...that's after a one year relationship and the period before he left her.

 

Imagine how rejected his wife felt after 3 decades of marriage and 3 kids. 

 

I'm not invalidating your pain..but affairs tend to come with pain and not just to the OW or the BW. His kids felt pain when they saw their mother hurt. Your kids would have felt the same too.

 

The best way forward is accepting equal responsibility for it, not thinking through the consequences for all, learn from it, forgive yourself and don't let this define you.

 

On the point of him having gone through the teenage years...many single mothers feel the same. They will not date a man with younger kids if they have teenagers,  or teenagers if their own kids are older. 

 

They either have to deal with a pain in the neck Ex wife and custody battles...or the typical teenage years. 

 

For your kids,  it was not only having a man spending a lot of time in their home,  but this man is also a teacher at their school. 

 

The whole thing had too many challenges from  the beginning,  but neither of you were in the right place to see it.

[Ellener]

On 2/5/2020 at 11:23 AM, Beca L said:

I think their family are a little screwed up and I most definitely dodged a bullet. 

So walk away and forget about them all now. 

[Beca L]

On 3/28/2020 at 5:02 AM, texasgreeneyes said:

Hey Becca! I’m new to posting here and read through all of this thread not too long ago! I had a few questions for you, but was wondering if there’s a messaging feature on here? 

Hi,

Sorry you can't message me. You can ask me questions on this thread if you like. 

[JTSW]

On 3/28/2020 at 5:02 AM, texasgreeneyes said:

wondering if there’s a messaging feature on here? 

There is but you have to be a member for a certain amount of time before you get that feature 🙂