Any one ever just give up?

[JS17]

Do you think that some people were just not meant for some things in this world? Sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time and I should just give up on some things that I want.

[Woggle]

Keep trying. Things will come eventually.

[LucreziaBorgia]

Sometimes you have to see it this way: those things you want in your life, and your insistance on pursuing them even when they aren't working out for you - are the very things that are preventing you from stumbling along the things that really will make you happy in life. Those open doors are right behind you. It is hard to see open doors behind you though, when you are banging fruitlessly on the firmly shut door right in front of you.

 

You have no way of knowing yet what those things are that will make you happy in life, but you won't know for as long as you cling on to those things that aren't making you happy.

 

Never assume that what makes you happy is the opposite of what is making your life unhappy. For instance, if you are looking for a committed, long term relationship with a great guy and you aren't finding it where you are looking - you won't find it in a bunch of short term meaningless hookups either. Keep looking for what you want - just look for it in different ways and in different places.

[JS17]

Sometimes you have to see it this way: those things you want in your life, and your insistance on pursuing them even when they aren't working out for you - are the very things that are preventing you from stumbling along the things that really will make you happy in life.

 

I think I'm just kind of questioning a lot of things in my life right now. I've never been one for failure, it just never used to be in my vocabulary. Now I'm trying to figure out the best way to accept that there are things that I wanted for my life (not just a relationship) that I can't have. I'm tired of putting so much energy into and trying for things that I can't have. Do you just give up hope? Do you give up trying if you just can't do it anymore? Is that the best way to deal with things?

[NTB]

DANG...

 

LB are you like a head doctor or something i swear sometimes i just like reading your responses to threads.......

i feel i am not worthy to read your words...

[lindya]

Every time you feel like giving up hope and manage to pull yourself through those feelings you'll get stronger and smarter. Perhaps you just deserve better things than the things you've been wanting for the past while.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. Do you just give up hope?

2. Do you give up trying if you just can't do it anymore?

3. Is that the best way to deal with things?

 

It depends on how you see it. These sound pretty bleak. But... lets turn it around a bit.

 

1. Giving up hope for futile things allows you to build motivation to look for new things.

2. Giving up trying for things you can't seem to get will allow you to devote that time to different pursuits.

3. The best way to deal with things is to try to see those demons that are standing in your path and blocking it as angels turning you away to find a better path.

 

'Giving up' doesn't mean lying down in the path and allowing yourself to waste away. 'Giving up' means you walk away and look for a new path. Depression will mire you down and send you back on that unhappy path time and again - because for as unhappy as it makes you, it is familiar and sometimes there is a great comfort in even the most miserable of comfortable things.

 

You literally can't know yet where your happiness lies yet. When people say life is full of surprises, they aren't kidding. All you have is the path you travel and thus far it hasn't led to happiness. Time to take that unknown and sometimes frightening road less traveled, so to speak.

 

You never know - you may well look back on this a long while from now and be very thankful that you were forced to 'give up hope' - because had you not, you wouldn't have found that happiness that you didn't even know you were looking for.

[dcsmom97]

LB -

 

Your advice is so dead on! JS, you need to listen up girl! Keep trying!

[ReluctantRomeo]

Do you think that some people were just not meant for some things in this world? Sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time and I should just give up on some things that I want.

 

Awwww honey

 

Yes, sometimes I've given up hope. Often allows a more realistic hope to emerge later. Sometimes whatever I'm looking for has happened just after I give up hope

[slubberdegullion]

Sometimes it's best to hold two opposed viewpoints at the same time. It's difficult, but you may find that it helps.

 

1. Never give up. No one who wanted anything bad enough ever got it by throwing their hands in the air and tossing their dreams to the winds;
   
2. Know when you're beaten. No point in rushing headlong after your dreams if there's no possible chance you can make it. Refine your goals and dreams and use your previous experience as a learning tool.
   

 

Yes, they're conflicting opposites. I suppose the key is to know when to use #1 and when to use #2. And if you figure it out, you'll be the first.

[Lil Honey]

I think it depends on how you've persued the things that you want. A person might take one huge step and when it doesn't work out, he/she continues to take huge steps that don't seem to work. That's a waste of time and energy. In a lot of things, it's the process of getting from Point A to Point B that makes the difference, so small steps (that can be valued and appreciated) may be the way to get to your goal. Taking a different route could make all the difference, too.

 

Sometimes simply just changing your focus (not completely giving up but merely setting the idea aside for awhile) can give you new perspective or give you "time to breathe" before trying again. I say this, because it seems that when a person is LOOKING for a relationship (for example), it doesn't happen, but when they forget about it, someone special just bumps into him/her. The same thing goes with some couples who can't have children. They will set those goals aside and start the adoption process and suddenly they get PG.

 

I DO think that some people are meant to have things that others don't. Each of us has a different life, personality and choices. As much as I'd like to have a few million dollars laying around, I know that that isn't my lot. Not only that, but having a few million dollars doesn't mean I'll be happy. I see a lot of actors, sports personalities and models that are rich, but aren't happy.

 

There are people out there that have what they have because of what they've done. I know for a fact that I wouldn't do what some people have done. I don't want what they have, if it means that I can't sleep at night or look at myself in the mirror. A lot of what you have and don't have comes down to who you are as a person.

[alphamale]

Do you think that some people were just not meant for some things in this world? Sometimes I feel like I'm just wasting my time and I should just give up on some things that I want.

Are you in another one of your temporary self-loathing states of mind, JS17? Cheer up

[whichwayisup]

Are you in another one of your temporary self-loathing states of mind, JS17? Cheer up

 

Alpha at his best!

 

JS, whatever it is that has you down, just know things will get better. They always do.

 

LB is wonderful and I can't add too much to anything she's said, so listen to LB!!!!

 

Hugs!

[JS17]

Thanks everyone for your responses. I saw my MSW today and she thinks that I've been running around trying to take care of my mom and now everything is just hitting me. It really sux having to go through all of this alone and let's face it, my life wasn't really sunshine and roses before all this happened.

[NTB]

well your not alone that is why you have LS don't worry things will start looking up for you

[Outcast]

Oh sometimes you get tired, yes. Doesn't mean one gives up entirely and forever, but it's no crime to take a break from striving sometimes and allow yourself to just be idle and languish in laziness for a bit.

 

It may be that you're after the wrong things but it may also be that you've been under a lot of stress and your system's trying to get you to take it easy for a while and regroup. By all means revisit your goals and see if they are still dear to your heart.

 

And once you've rested, you can go back to aiming for your dreams.

[FataMorgana]

JS, whatever it is that has you down, just know things will get better. They always do.

 

LB is wonderful and I can't add too much to anything she's said, so listen to LB!!!!

 

Hugs!

 

I'll second that as well. Just take it one at a time and before you know it things are under control again.

 

And ....seems I don't know how to give up

I have one of those fridge magnets with "NEVER EVER GIVE UP" on it... present from a good friend that knows me too well.

 

Hugs.

[RecordProducer]

I think it depends on how you've persued the things that you want. In a lot of things, it's the process of getting from Point A to Point B that makes the difference. Taking a different route could make all the difference.

 

Sometimes simply just changing your focus (not completely giving up but merely setting the idea aside for awhile) can give you new perspective or give you "time to breathe" before trying again.

 

I agree with this. For example, if you're talented for something but don't seem to be able to move from the starting point of pursuing career in it, perhaps you should try different ways of achieving your goals instead of giving up completely.

 

If you can't seem to find the right man, try different approaches (change your style, appearence, manners, criteria, behavior, looks; move in different circles, meet new friends, try new hobbies and activities). Meeting the knight is a matter of patience. But also if you keep meeting the same profile of people all the time, it's time for you to change your environment of search and possibly your personal approach to the matter.

 

In the professional world, hard work leads to success. But having the right connections and learning from people is invaluable as well. Sometimes you need to make one step backward in order to go 10 steps forward.