leighmc Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I figured I would post here before doing anything. We have been broken up for 3 months and I have been doing NC for 4 days. Although, I have tried to contact him he never responded previously. I decided I would stick to NC. Well, he just sent me a text message and said "hi, how's it going?" Should I respond with just a simple fine or should I ignore it? I want him back back he doens't want me back, so we had decided to be friends. Being friends is too hard on me which is why I wanted to do NC. Any advice for me will be appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 Although, I have tried to contact him he never responded previously. Should I respond with just a simple fine or should I ignore it?QUOTE] Don't reply. Not for a few days at least Never replying is rude in my book... delaying for a few days or even a week is fine. If he catches up with you, just say you were busy and doing other stuff. And *be* busy and doing other stuff. Makes you way more interesting. Develop the "I can't hang around waiting for that banana to make up his mind" philosophy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 I think you are right. I do want to respond and tell him that my life is just fine without him but yet it would be nice to ignore him like he ignored my previous attempts to contact him. I'm afraid that if I do respond, i'm going to be back to feeling the same way I was a couple weeks ago. This is all so confusing. I wish he would either take me back or leave me alone. I'm tired of feeling these emotions for him and just want to move on with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
francis Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 i agree, delay response for at least a few hours. waiting a day to reply to a text message is a bit 'staged' and unnatural. a few hours means you're not waiting by your phone, but is a little more realistic than a few days which suggests you've been mulling over a constructed response. respond in a closed way that does not leave him open to reply. the text message will bug you until you do respond. so send it, and mentally draw a line under that communication. keep it simple, something like, 'doing good. thanks'. end of. that's polite, mature, sensible, controlled. and then, forget all about it. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 My advice is why bother? There's been plenty of discussion on this board about this topic, but in short be honest with yourself. If he broke it off and it was not mutual and you still harbour feelings for him (and only you know this) Why would you answer him back? To reopen a old wounds and memories. He's probably curious and surprised that you haven't been a slobbering idiot and calling him up left and right.. so now his ego is saying what's up with that? If he loves you..forget all that "how's it going?" crap? At this point for you it's GOING PERFECTLY FINE, correct. So if he can't write you something more in the lines of "I miss you terribly and was a fool to let you go, please forgive me." along with flowers! What and WHY do you care about his feeble and lame "how's it going?" That's cheap in the approach towards you. His contacting you does not mean you are at his beck and call? (is that the correct phrase) So don't behave all honoured like he's doing you a favor! There's nothing wrong in life with demanding and respecting that you be treated like a Queen, a Princess or Star! I'm beginning to learn from all the posters here on this thread that we think because someone e-mails us or contacts us that's equivilent to a receiving a lottery ticket..when the only thing these cheesy pulling your strings contacts are basically them throwing you a bone. Also ask yourself would you treat anyone you love the way your ex treated you. Although, I have tried to contact him he never responded previously. Hmmmmm? Link to post Share on other sites
brittanyjean259 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 wish i had known all this b4 ever always coming back to my ex...or talking to him...just makes things easier on them even if they do love you...thats how they get so much will power ...hate mind games! Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 5, 2005 Author Share Posted October 5, 2005 You guys are great!!! I haven't responded and exactly 1 hour after he sent the first text message, he sent me another. It said the exact same thing as the first but I guess he is just making sure I get the message. He knows that I still love him and want him back. He also knows that I have met someone else and am trying to move on. For all he knows i'm with the new guy right now. He knows my work schedule and that I will be going to work in an hour. If I don't respond then he will know i'm ignoring him and that i'm not just "busy". Would it be so bad if he knows i'm ignoring him? I don't want to waste my time on him anymore if he isn't going to give us another chance. Link to post Share on other sites
off2sea Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I can't urge you enough to ignore it and any further txt msgs. I went through this a few weeks back, responded, and all it did was cause a setback. Shut your phone off or put it away as soon as the desire hits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 Update!! I finally replied to his text today. All I said was "sorry i've been busy, i'm fine and you" He replied "sex was great with you, we should try again sometime!" Ok what the hell am I supposed to say to that? He has another girlfriend and all, and he knows I'm seeing somebody. Is it just another try to make sure I still "want" him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 he just sent me another text. This time he said " I was just kidding" Why did he say that in the first place? I was finally doing fine, he was out of my mind! I have met 2 guys who i'm casually seeing, no sex is involved with either and now he pulls this ****! I don't understand!! Link to post Share on other sites
legrtova Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Update!! I finally replied to his text today. All I said was "sorry i've been busy, i'm fine and you" He replied "sex was great with you, we should try again sometime!" Ok what the hell am I supposed to say to that? He has another girlfriend and all, and he knows I'm seeing somebody. Is it just another try to make sure I still "want" him? Oh, what a jerk! I think he is playin mind games. I would do NC and stick to it. , it's time for you to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 He is playing you! Dont have any further contact with him he sill just cause you emotional damage. He obviously has insecurity issues and needs attention. My advice = Stay well clear and wish his new girlfriend luck (she needs it!) :) Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 I still haven't replied to either of the messages. Should I? Even if it is to tell him he's a jerk? He makes me so mad cuz he knew I wanted him back and as soon as I started sticking to NC he does this. I wish I would never have replied! Now my mind is thinking that if I did have sex with him maybe we would get back together. I know a relationship should not be based on sex but he's got me all confused now! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 So why consider replying now when you regret replying to the last message? Save yourself heartache Leigh and dont answer him - If you do he will let you down, make you feel bad and you will regret it even more. He is doing this for attention - Dont give him any he does not deserve you!!! Good luck with any choice you make Link to post Share on other sites
legrtova Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 He is not worth your time. I have a feeling that if you do send him one, you will regret it and will be thinking about it all day. I'd say forget it, forget him and move on. Don't give him that power over you, YOU be the one who doesn't reply. You don't owe him anything and by replying you will just make him think that he is in control again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 ok ok good you guys have some good points! I'm not going to reply and i'm going to stick to NC for sure this time, even if he sends me another message! Thanks everybody! Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 His remark about the great sex indicates that he's playing with you. This very very obvious. He knows you still like him and that you're having a hard time getting over him, so reminding you about sex even though he knows you're trying to move on means he's either wanting to lure you into his bed again, but of course without any intention of really getting back with you, meaning he's trying to use you to satisfy his physical needs, or he's a social idiot with zero clue how to get an ex-lover back, which is possible but still less likely than the first option. I'd ignore him. Unless he makes a serious attempt to get back to you, you're warned of his intentions. I believe he's only out to have sex without any attachment with you, so I'd strongly recommend you that you stay away from him till you hear some vows of commitment from him. Don't meet him alone at his or your home. Don't let him get close to you and just remember, he's trying to mess you up for very selfish reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
legrtova Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 Hang in there! It's hard at times when you really miss him, but try to stick to it. IT really helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 I'd ignore him. Unless he makes a serious attempt to get back to you, you're warned of his intentions. I believe he's only out to have sex without any attachment with you, so I'd strongly recommend you that you stay away from him till you hear some vows of commitment from him. Don't meet him alone at his or your home. Don't let him get close to you and just remember, he's trying to mess you up for very selfish reasons. I agree 100%! He's probably realizing what he lost now but he's saying all the wrong things. He's just making me hate him and I really think if he wanted to get back together, i'd say no. I've met some really great people since we've been broken up, i've been working on getting physically fit and overall my life looks good right now. I love everybody here at LS, it's great to post here and get other peoples perspective before doing something you might regret! Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I wish i listened al took notice of what i have been advised lol Good luck hon and keep us informed Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 I just got another message from him. I never replied to his messages. This time he said " so i guess this means no sex, how about a blowjob?" What the hell is he trying to do to me? I really want to ask him that. Should I? I just want advice before doing anything Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo dont do it You are driving him nuts he does not know where he stands and now he is depending on humour to get you to respond - His next text will say 'are you ok? or are we not talking anymore?' IGNORE HIM!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author leighmc Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo dont do it You are driving him nuts he does not know where he stands and now he is depending on humour to get you to respond - His next text will say 'are you ok? or are we not talking anymore?' IGNORE HIM!!!!!!!!!! It is so hard for me to ignore this because I do/did want him back. He is definatly going about this the wrong way though. Thanks for the advice and I will do my best to ignore him. I know if this wasn't my situation I would advise someone to do the same. It is hard taking your own advice but hearing it from someone else really helps. Link to post Share on other sites
loony Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I just got another message from him. I never replied to his messages. This time he said " so i guess this means no sex, how about a blowjob?" What the hell is he trying to do to me? I really want to ask him that. Should I? I just want advice before doing anything DO NOT ANSWER!!!! He's a real bastard! His next text will say 'are you ok? or are we not talking anymore? Exactly! You're in control of the situation, so enjoy it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 GIRL POWER!!!!!!! You can do it babe - Be strong!!!! If you answer you will so regret it 0 Let that mfer beg lol Link to post Share on other sites
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