chicky_cherub Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 hi guys, i came accross this site as i was searching for 'paranoia in a relationship' because i think i am paranoid.... ive been with my bf for nearly 8 mths, we live 2gether and were gr8!! its just hes a typical guy - in other words, he cant express himself emotionally...and when i have a problem, the natural thing to do is communicate this problem with him...but its like talking to a brick wall, seriously... he always thinks im having a go at him, and ultimately thinks its all his fault...im not trying to have a go at him.... ok, example...hmm, so many, and the worst thing is, it seems to be the same sh*t over and over again...its the only fights we have really... and this is where paranoia comes into it... im obsessed... i always have this feeling in the back of my head that he is going to cheat on me, or that im not good enough. i know i need to love myself first before i can love others and before others can love me...maybe i need to do that first... i try and not think about it until something happens... wen we first met...like 2 wks after we started dating and then 2 mths after we were together i cheated on him...physically...and i told him cos i couldnt keep that on my conscious. maybe thats why he thinks that 'sms' and 'online' chatting to other girls 'sexually' wasnt an issue for him in those days... because i caught him out twice...on the computer i read chat logs and they were very convincing that hed cheated on me...he denied it, well said he didnt do it and i want to believe him and get past it but the truth is i dont think i can, its always going to be in the back of my head argh!! ive spoken to him about it since and made it very clear that i wasnt sure about us at that time and that im more in love with him than ever and that i wouldnt do anything to hurt him ever again, and i mean that, and he believes me, and as a result, hasnt done anything to hurt me, because he knows how much that hurt me wen i found out... so its all good...were soo in love but i still get paranoid...sms from this giirl hes been talking to for ages but never met...she msgs him nearly evry day and i tried to explain to him that althou he just sees it as it is...a friend msging him....she may like him more than that...and so i was 'making up senarios' which he started yelling at me for. so i give up, i dont know how to communicate with him without making up a senario or apparently 'assuming' things. and i know this issue wont be solved until i can get thru to him. and his answers most of the time are 'i dont know' or 'no i didnt' and i keep 'blabbing' and he gets more frustrated because i dont get the answers i need. sorry this is so long, hope to get some views from you guys!! -chicky_cherub:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
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