Am I overreacting - is he cheating?

[assertives]

2 hours ago, rainfall said:

And it’s scary how you think a kid (under 3) should grow Up with a crack dealer baby sitting. 

I didn't say anything of that sort. It's a narrative you added on your own. If you truly cared about that under 3 year kid, have objective evidence that the kid is growing up under horrible conditions, you should have called cps regardless of whether you managed to determine if your husband is 1) cheating and or 2) cheating with her.

[JTSW]

Op i think you have become unwell.

Early on in the thread you were pretty level headed, but now you have become somewhat bitter and revenge driven.

It is not healthy and you seemed to have lost focus.

You are more intent on pushing this other woman than your husband, but he is more to blame if there is something going on.

You are so intent on hurting this other woman by having her child taken away from her for your own satisfaction but you're not thinking of what you will be doing to the child.

He/she is only 3 years old and would be terrified being taken away from his/her mother and placed with strangers.

Yes, i agree, the environment the child is living in is not good, but he/she may not see any of that going on.

He/she wont even understand at that age.

I strongly urge you to take a step back and think on this one. 

You wouldn't just be hurting this woman, you'd be hurting her small child.

 

 

[rainfall]

23 hours ago, assertives said:

I didn't say anything of that sort. It's a narrative you added on your own. If you truly cared about that under 3 year kid, have objective evidence that the kid is growing up under horrible conditions, you should have called cps regardless of whether you managed to determine if your husband is 1) cheating and or 2) cheating with her.

I’ve never meet the kid. I honestly don’t care either way, but if she’s going to take the most important thing in my life I was going to return the favor. the more I think about it I know my husband doesn’t like kids and this would ensure they would never actually be together if we did split up. And yes I’m 1000% sure he would never be with a woman who had a kid. (A serious relationship). He likes the freedom that comes with no kids. 

so as long as she has the kid she would never be anything meaningful to him. I’ll still divorce him and get revenge on her, but I’ll find other ways. 
 

Still nothing on the gps, but now isn’t exactly the time when people are going out. So we will see I guess. Things with us have been amazing lately, and I want to know he didn’t cheat. Part of me thinks he just loved the attention and part of me still thinks he was cheating. I’ll figure it out soon. 

[Negotaurus]

2 hours ago, rainfall said:

I’ve never meet the kid. I honestly don’t care either way, but if she’s going to take the most important thing in my life I was going to return the favor. the more I think about it I know my husband doesn’t like kids and this would ensure they would never actually be together if we did split up. And yes I’m 1000% sure he would never be with a woman who had a kid. (A serious relationship). He likes the freedom that comes with no kids. 

so as long as she has the kid she would never be anything meaningful to him. I’ll still divorce him and get revenge on her, but I’ll find other ways. 
 

Still nothing on the gps, but now isn’t exactly the time when people are going out. So we will see I guess. Things with us have been amazing lately, and I want to know he didn’t cheat. Part of me thinks he just loved the attention and part of me still thinks he was cheating. I’ll figure it out soon. 

Taking a child away from a mother as revenge. Wow. Incredibly vile. 
Half of the things you say on this thread are not confirmed as truth, how on Earth do you have such insight that the child is living with a crackhead? What third party did you hear that from? It’s just an excuse. It’s obvious you don’t care about the child, we all see that. Have some class and don’t threaten to take away a CHILD from its MOTHER as revenge. That is HORRIBLE. 

Edited March 18, 2020 by Negotaurus

[JTSW]

3 hours ago, rainfall said:

I’ve never meet the kid. I honestly don’t care either way

OP get help.

Even if your husband isn't having an affair, he might walk away from this cold heartless behavior of yours.

No-one should EVER do that to a small child just out of revenge.

That's just sick.

[assertives]

Oh we know you don't care. That much is clear. That innocent 3 year old kid is just a tool in your revenge plans which is the part that was scary.

Thing is, you think are doing this to "destroy" that woman's life assuming she'll be miserable or devastated. What if she doesn't care if her kid was taken away by cps and is.. actually happy because it's one burden less? I mean, you said she's "trash". Your revenge isn't going to feel that good anymore if she's happy the kid's gone. And.. with the kid gone, wouldn't that negate that "he'll never be with a woman who has a kid" part? 

Anyway, you are not thinking straight, and all your posts have spiralled into several pages of incoherent and warped thoughts. You honestly need help and seriously seriously consider the steps you are going to take if you "still want to spend the rest of your life with your husband" when you continue to find no evidence of him cheating.

[Negotaurus]

3 hours ago, assertives said:

Oh we know you don't care. That much is clear. That innocent 3 year old kid is just a tool in your revenge plans which is the part that was scary.

Thing is, you think are doing this to "destroy" that woman's life assuming she'll be miserable or devastated. What if she doesn't care if her kid was taken away by cps and is.. actually happy because it's one burden less? I mean, you said she's "trash". Your revenge isn't going to feel that good anymore if she's happy the kid's gone. And.. with the kid gone, wouldn't that negate that "he'll never be with a woman who has a kid" part? 

Anyway, you are not thinking straight, and all your posts have spiralled into several pages of incoherent and warped thoughts. You honestly need help and seriously seriously consider the steps you are going to take if you "still want to spend the rest of your life with your husband" when you continue to find no evidence of him cheating.

Even if the mum is heartbroken and the OP gets to hurt people, she will have to spend the rest of her life knowing that she was willing to drop so low for revenge. She lets her husband and another woman completely destroy her dignity and turn her into a heartless monster. She will only hurt herself further if she goes through with her threats.. Terribly sad. 

[rainfall]

8 hours ago, assertives said:

Oh we know you don't care. That much is clear. That innocent 3 year old kid is just a tool in your revenge plans which is the part that was scary.

Thing is, you think are doing this to "destroy" that woman's life assuming she'll be miserable or devastated. What if she doesn't care if her kid was taken away by cps and is.. actually happy because it's one burden less? I mean, you said she's "trash". Your revenge isn't going to feel that good anymore if she's happy the kid's gone. And.. with the kid gone, wouldn't that negate that "he'll never be with a woman who has a kid" part? 

Anyway, you are not thinking straight, and all your posts have spiralled into several pages of incoherent and warped thoughts. You honestly need help and seriously seriously consider the steps you are going to take if you "still want to spend the rest of your life with your husband" when you continue to find no evidence of him cheating.

I already said I’m going to leave the kid with her. Let her know she’ll never truly have my husband (even if we don’t work out). I have other ways to get revenge.  If it’s just her chasing him then I’m going to only worry about revenge on her. The stuff some of you people would allow others to do to you with no problem amazes me. 

[rainfall]

The way I see it, I only get one life. If someone destroys mine it is my right to return the favor as long as I don’t break the law. Thankfully from what I hear she’s on the path to destroying her own life. And I started this thread and the thought of cheating wasn’t on my mind at all. It was certain posters here that got me suspicious and thinking about him cheating. 
 

but like I said earlier things have been great with us. He’s not going out (even to his friends house) so I guess I’ll keep listening to my voice recorder. Although I’ve been staying up way to late spending time with him so there isn’t much the past few days. That’s good though because I can maybe get through everything. 
 

[Negotaurus]

11 minutes ago, rainfall said:

The way I see it, I only get one life. If someone destroys mine it is my right to return the favor as long as I don’t break the law. Thankfully from what I hear she’s on the path to destroying her own life. And I started this thread and the thought of cheating wasn’t on my mind at all. It was certain posters here that got me suspicious and thinking about him cheating. 
 

but like I said earlier things have been great with us. He’s not going out (even to his friends house) so I guess I’ll keep listening to my voice recorder. Although I’ve been staying up way to late spending time with him so there isn’t much the past few days. That’s good though because I can maybe get through everything. 
 

It is also your right to choose the honourable way. 

[rainfall]

2 hours ago, Negotaurus said:

It is also your right to choose the honourable way. 

Yeah... I’ll pass on letting some trash steal my life. If he’s cheating she will have her payback. I’m not going to roll over and let some worthless girl who will never be anything in life ruin my life without getting revenge. If I’m wrong and he’s not cheating I still hate her for trying to steal my husband. I’ll work on the things with him, that let things get like this, if it’s truly just her trashy butt trying to steal a married man. I’m not going to just let her do this with nothing happening.

 Women like her deserve what they get: 

[JTSW]

8 hours ago, rainfall said:

Yeah... I’ll pass on letting some trash steal my life. If he’s cheating she will have her payback. I’m not going to roll over and let some worthless girl who will never be anything in life ruin my life without getting revenge. If I’m wrong and he’s not cheating I still hate her for trying to steal my husband. I’ll work on the things with him, that let things get like this, if it’s truly just her trashy butt trying to steal a married man. I’m not going to just let her do this with nothing happening.

 Women like her deserve what they get: 

Do you have any idea how bitter and immature this sounds?

 

[Baman]

11 hours ago, rainfall said:

 And I started this thread and the thought of cheating wasn’t on my mind at all. It was certain posters here that got me suspicious and thinking about him cheating. 

The title of your thread, started by YOU is:

Am I overreacting - is he cheating?

[elaine567]

26 minutes ago, Baman said:

The title of your thread, started by YOU is:

Am I overreacting - is he cheating?

IIRC the first thread the OP started was more about him staying out late.
Cheating was suggested by members so rainfall then started a new thread called "Am I overreacting - is he cheating?"
Threads merged into one.

[rainfall]

12 hours ago, elaine567 said:

IIRC the first thread the OP started was more about him staying out late.
Cheating was suggested by members so rainfall then started a new thread called "Am I overreacting - is he cheating?"
Threads merged into one.

Yep.... this. I never suspected cheating until it was brought up and I started my snooping. It’s why I tried to have 2 threads since each issue was different and him staying out late had been resolved for the most part. 
 

 

[rainfall]

So I’ve decided I’m just going to get trash girl fired. Her job is looking to cut people bc of everything and the one time I went out when she was there she admired to occasionally stealing some money. (Never anything big In her words , “ oh you know just enough to buy a 6 pack a day”. I have 2 people who are willing to back me up and her job has cameras so it will be easy for them to find. So she can be jobless and just live off her free government money she is so proud of. Sorry not sorry , but if you go after my life and try to destroy it I will fight back. 
 

now if she’s sleeping with my husband I’ll have to think of more, but this will hopefully teach her to 1. Don’t steal from your employer and 2. Don’t go after married men. 
 

and idk if anyone disagrees. She will get what’s coming to her. 

[Negotaurus]

4 hours ago, rainfall said:

So I’ve decided I’m just going to get trash girl fired. Her job is looking to cut people bc of everything and the one time I went out when she was there she admired to occasionally stealing some money. (Never anything big In her words , “ oh you know just enough to buy a 6 pack a day”. I have 2 people who are willing to back me up and her job has cameras so it will be easy for them to find. So she can be jobless and just live off her free government money she is so proud of. Sorry not sorry , but if you go after my life and try to destroy it I will fight back. 
 

now if she’s sleeping with my husband I’ll have to think of more, but this will hopefully teach her to 1. Don’t steal from your employer and 2. Don’t go after married men. 
 

and idk if anyone disagrees. She will get what’s coming to her. 

I would be scared of myself if I thought like you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 
 

You’re dropping just as low as the people you’re judging. 

[JTSW]

Just now, Negotaurus said:

And idk if anyone disagrees. She will get what’s coming to her. 

You have lost it.

You are talking like a scorned teenager.

You are a grown adult so you should start acting like it.

Conducting all this 'revenge' is going to come back and bite you in the ass.

There will very likely be some dangerous repercussions like someone associated with her might come after YOU for revenge for what you did to her.

You're not thinking clearly and you are going to end up putting yourself in allot of danger.

You may end up worse off than before.

Edited March 20, 2020 by JTSW

[stillafool]

More than likely all of this so called revenge will boomerang back to OP.  It never fails.

[assertives]

I thought part of your "criteria" of her being "trash" is because she's not working/never want to work because she can get government money? And then now you are trying to get her fire so she can live on unemployment? That makes no sense at all.

In any case, if she was really stealing, and there is solid evidence, she will get fired with or without your help. If she didn't do anything, and was just talking s***, you finding people to corroborate your lies to frame her is going to look very bad on you. Add to that "she-destroyed-my-life-so-I-have-every-right-to-do-the-same-to-her-even-though-I-have-no-evidence-my-husband-is-cheating-with-her-or-is-even-cheating-at-all" narrative is just going to make you look/sound crazy and earn you (and those 2 friends) the reputation as someone who's words cannot be trusted.

What goes around, comes around, and like you said, there will be karma. But karma is impartial and goes both ways, she will pay for the things she did, but you would too. But I guess you've already weighed your options and have decided this will be all so worth it and you'll so I guess.. good luck?

[basil67]

45 minutes ago, assertives said:

I thought part of your "criteria" of her being "trash" is because....

Calling another girl trash (or skanky or bipolar or whatever) is a strategy some women use to insult others in order to build themselves up.   Those who receive such labels don't actually need to meet specific criteria to be called such names.

[stillafool]

Another thing OP, if you do all of these horrible things to her for revenge have you ever thought this might make your husband feel sorry for her and want to comfort her.  In other words, it might bring them closer and make you look like the wicked witch of the west in his eyes.  Not a pretty picture.

[schlumpy]

How is the gathering of evidence working out? Anything that is tipping the scale one way or the other? Make sure you follow the evidence. Don't allow your biases to shape what you hear and see. If there are multiple explanations for what you assume is suspicious behavior then choose the simplest explanation or the one most likely first until you find evidence that points in a different direction.

It's very important that you do not allow your fears to influence what you find out.

Be scientific. Good research scientists attempt to disprove their hypothesis as well as provide evidence in support of it because they are after the truth.

[JTSW]

This has the potential to really blow up in OP's face.

She could end up greatly disliked for her actions and may actually push her husband closer to this woman.

[SummerDreams]

It's become obvious that the OP doesn't need our advise anymore and she has made her decisions so I see no reason to repeat the same things over and over again.