Am I overreacting - is he cheating?

[basil67]

rainfall, do you see the similarities between you and this other woman?   She doesn't care about hurting you and you don't care about hurting her innocent child.  Often, those we dislike most are the ones who have similar traits to us.  And the two of you seem to be peas in a pod.

[rainfall]

37 minutes ago, vla1120 said:

Wow. I’ve been away, getting my district ready for remote learning. You’ve been busy seething with a hatred that hurts no one but you. Have you even talked to your husband about the fact that you do NOT want him communicating with this woman or it’s going to ruin your marriage? Have you asked him to block her? Have you told him the two of you need marriage counseling because your imagination is about to destroy your marriage? 

Calling an innocent 3-yr-old child her “spawn” is insulting and cruel. 

I predict this is NOT going to end well for you. Hell. At this rate, if Karma has anything to say about it, you might end up with COVID-19. Or maybe you’ll bring it home to your husband with his underlying health conditions and you’ll find out in the end he was faithful to you. That would make one hell of a harlequin romance novel.

i hope you get a grip and stop this nonsense. Place the blame where it belongs - squarely on your husband for entertaining the idea of liking the attention he gets from this woman. Stop beating around the bush about it and get your arses to counseling!

I have never hated anyone as much as I hate this trash girl.  I’m going to refer to her and her spawn as I see fit. Trust me this is nice. What I say to My friends is 100 times worse. If I get corona I’m f anyway. I have my own health issues. (Asthma has always been mid, but it’s been bad this year for some reason). 
 

 

28 minutes ago, basil67 said:

rainfall, do you see the similarities between you and this other woman?   She doesn't care about hurting you and you don't care about hurting her innocent child.  Often, those we dislike most are the ones who have similar traits to us.  And the two of you seem to be peas in a pod.

I doubt making her lose her job will hurt her kid. She can go live with her mom 20 hours away. I’m nothing like this trash girl. I’ve worked for every thing I have.i have a college degree, an amazing job, car I paid off in 3 years, I graduated high school, no kids, and I don’t chase married men. 
 

she works 20 hours a week ; lives of welfare, no car and doesn’t know how to drive, no desire to even finish high school, likes guys in commitment relationships. (Her ex was with a girl before they hooked up. They weren’t married, but they’d been dating fo 5 years. So she’s a home wrecker. 
 

 

[rainfall]

My thing now is even if he’s not cheating is that really the kind of man I want. He saw what this was doing to me. He saw I started smoking , drinking, not eating or sleeping again. 
he cared more about his who than his wife and that’s crap. I messaged the guy he got mad at me for talking to. I miss him as a friend and apparently how im feeling doesn’t matter  

[basil67]

26 minutes ago, rainfall said:

I doubt making her lose her job will hurt her kid. She can go live with her mom 20 hours away. I’m nothing like this trash girl. I’ve worked for every thing I have.i have a college degree, an amazing job, car I paid off in 3 years, I graduated high school, no kids, and I don’t chase married men. 
 

she works 20 hours a week ; lives of welfare, no car and doesn’t know how to drive, no desire to even finish high school, likes guys in commitment relationships. (Her ex was with a girl before they hooked up. They weren’t married, but they’d been dating fo 5 years. So she’s a home wrecker. 

There's more than one way to wreck a home and you're doing the other.  Peas in a pod the both of you.

[IndigoNight]

I have been the scorned wife. I had so many things running through my head about what I'd do to that woman. Then, I realized it was my husband who betrayed me.

I actually sympathized with you, until you decided you didn't care how the child was hurt in this melodrama. Children are off limits, period!

If you asked my ex husband he would tell you that I have a cold, and blackened heart. For him, I do. However, I would NEVER make a mother with a young child suffer, or homeless, for ANY reason. That is wrong on so many levels.

Your man is supposedly cheating on you, and all you can talk about is destroying the mother of a young child. 

You've made up your mind. Just be ready to suffer the consequences of your actions. 

Edited March 25, 2020 by IndigoNight

[JTSW]

12 hours ago, rainfall said:

My thing now is even if he’s not cheating is that really the kind of man I want. He saw what this was doing to me. He saw I started smoking , drinking, not eating or sleeping again. 
he cared more about his who than his wife and that’s crap. I messaged the guy he got mad at me for talking to. I miss him as a friend and apparently how im feeling doesn’t matter  

Get some therapy and fast. 

You are a walking bitter train wreck. 

You have completely lost it. 

The only one who stands to get hurt in all this is you. 

[preraph]

This is a very personal fight.  I can't stand people who just roll over and let things happen to them that affect their entire existence.  But again, it's not all about her.  Your husband is who is responsible for not betraying you or causing you undue worry and grief, so he's actually the bigger culprit.  

[lana-banana]

Not to interrupt the extremely normal and chill and proportionate reactions you're having, but props on repeatedly expressing your intent to cause harm to someone from a device that can be traced to your ownership and/or residence. Best of luck with your cunning plans for total revenge.

[preraph]

If she gives the employer information that gets her fired (which it may not), and there's actual proof, then she doesn't have anything to worry about.  She just needs to stay within the law on this.  

[rainfall]

22 hours ago, S2B said:

Stop drinking. Cut back on the smoking and start eating right and working out!

your toxic habits are affecting your ability to think logically about all the crap around you.

help yourself!

Yeah I’ll pass on working out when there’s a virus out there.... 

22 hours ago, basil67 said:

There's more than one way to wreck a home and you're doing the other.  Peas in a pod the both of you.

But see mine is deserved. She is stealing and her employer should know, especially since I heard that they are losing money and might have to close. 

10 hours ago, JTSW said:

Get some therapy and fast. 

You are a walking bitter train wreck. 

You have completely lost it. 

The only one who stands to get hurt in all this is you. 

Nope.... this trash girl will get what’s coming to her. She went after my husband. She did this to herself. 

9 hours ago, preraph said:

This is a very personal fight.  I can't stand people who just roll over and let things happen to them that affect their entire existence.  But again, it's not all about her.  Your husband is who is responsible for not betraying you or causing you undue worry and grief, so he's actually the bigger culprit.  

If he’s cheating he’ll pay. Already looking into different places to live when this virus crud is all over. Not exactly a time to be moving out on my own. In 2-3 months I’ll have enough saved (hopefully) and I’ll know. We are in a shelter in place so he’s not going anywhere and I’m probably hurting my health, but I’m staying up late so she can’t watch him play games since we play all night. She gets mad and goes to bed bc he ignores her. We will see tonight bc I’ve slept 5 hours the past 2 days. So I’m going to bed early tonight and I’ll let my voice recorder do the work. 

9 hours ago, lana-banana said:

Not to interrupt the extremely normal and chill and proportionate reactions you're having, but props on repeatedly expressing your intent to cause harm to someone from a device that can be traced to your ownership and/or residence. Best of luck with your cunning plans for total revenge.

I really don’t think me saying I’m going to turn someone in for stealing is illegal. I don’t plan to do anything to physically harm her or her spawn. If she gets evicted bc she doesn’t have a job that’s her fault. Shouldn’t steal money if you don’t want to deal with the consequences. But glad you think stealing is ok. 

5 hours ago, preraph said:

If she gives the employer information that gets her fired (which it may not), and there's actual proof, then she doesn't have anything to worry about.  She just needs to stay within the law on this.  

Yep this.... it’s 100% legal to turn someone in for stealing when you have proof. And her apartment requires her to have a job. If she doesn’t tell them she lost it she’ll get evicted and fined. So I’ll just make sure I give them a call to make sure she followed the rules. If she tells them they give her time to find something. If she doesn’t she gets evicted... so the second one will be all on her. 
 

like I’ve said everything I’ll be doing is legal. She is the one who is doing illegal stuff. And I’m not even messing with her for some of it. Maybe one day I will, but for now having her lose her job is enough. 

[rainfall]

18 hours ago, IndigoNight said:

I have been the scorned wife. I had so many things running through my head about what I'd do to that woman. Then, I realized it was my husband who betrayed me.

I actually sympathized with you, until you decided you didn't care how the child was hurt in this melodrama. Children are off limits, period!

If you asked my ex husband he would tell you that I have a cold, and blackened heart. For him, I do. However, I would NEVER make a mother with a young child suffer, or homeless, for ANY reason. That is wrong on so many levels.

Your man is supposedly cheating on you, and all you can talk about is destroying the mother of a young child. 

You've made up your mind. Just be ready to suffer the consequences of your actions. 

I told you I’m not going to make her lose the kid. I’m not going to ignore my revenge on her just bc she has a kid. Kids aren’t a free pass to be a home wrecking trash person or try to be one. 
 

She should make better life choices. Kids don’t give you a free pass to sh whatever you want. Sorry, but if she can’t find another job it’s on her. No minimum wage job calls to check references. 
 

and I’m pretty sure my only consequence will be relief knowing she’s suffering and feeling the pain caused me. 

[basil67]

53 minutes ago, rainfall said:

I told you I’m not going to make her lose the kid. I’m not going to ignore my revenge on her just bc she has a kid. Kids aren’t a free pass to be a home wrecking trash person or try to be one.  

None of us can 100% predict the consequences of our actions.  Not even you.  

Edited March 26, 2020 by basil67

[preraph]

Just realized that the employer may feel they have to give her one more chance. And if the employer really likes her, they may just ignore the whole thing. 

[BaileyB]

19 minutes ago, preraph said:

Just realized that the employer may feel they have to give her one more chance. And if the employer really likes her, they may just ignore the whole thing. 

I would absolutely ignore the whole thing - the opinion of an angry, irrational, and vengeful woman would have no credibility with me.



 

[BaileyB]

9 hours ago, rainfall said:

I’m pretty sure my only consequence will be relief knowing she’s suffering and feeling the pain caused me. 

You need help OP. You have lost your way. Your responses are very disproportionate to the situation. 
It’s not normal to want to cause harm another person and feel no remorse. 

[preraph]

Well they may ignore it, but if they don't at least go see if what she said is true with the tape, that wouldn't be very responsible. 

[IndigoNight]

9 hours ago, rainfall said:

I told you I’m not going to make her lose the kid. I’m not going to ignore my revenge on her just bc she has a kid. Kids aren’t a free pass to be a home wrecking trash person or try to be one. 
 

She should make better life choices. Kids don’t give you a free pass to sh whatever you want. Sorry, but if she can’t find another job it’s on her. No minimum wage job calls to check references. 
 

and I’m pretty sure my only consequence will be relief knowing she’s suffering and feeling the pain caused me. 

If you make her lose her job, and welfare, what will happen? She will likely be homeless, and so will the child! 

Go confront the woman that you are convinced is sleeping with your husband. If you do ANYTHING that harms the child, by making it homeless, or no food on the table because mommy lost welfare, YOU are a worst homewrecker than she could ever be. No child should suffer the sins of their parents, yet so many do. You have a chance to prevent it for this one child. 

How about you kick your husband out for cheating? If he is cheating. At least he can fend for himself. Put the blame where it goes, on the cheating spouse. Save your venom and hatred for the man who wronged you. You have no clue if he lead her on, or if anything even happened. Get the facts straight before seeking revenge on a single mother. 

Lots of men, married or not, prey on single mothers! They buy them food, and toys for their children. Maybe even pay a bill or two. They use them until it is time to move on. It's more common than you think. Don't believe me, do the research. I have.

[SummerDreams]

The OP has not even asked her husband not to interact with this woman which would be the simplest thing to do. She behaves as normal as possible so she has a reason to take her revenge. There is zero communication or trust with her husband and she is pretending she will leave him after the revenge. She won't. 

[BaileyB]

2 minutes ago, SummerDreams said:

The OP has not even asked her husband not to interact with this woman which would be the simplest thing to do. She behaves as normal as possible so she has a reason to take her revenge. There is zero communication or trust with her husband and she is pretending she will leave him after the revenge. She won't. 

I agree. The problem here is not the other woman... who isn’t actually even “another woman.” 
Unless I have missed something, you haven’t even found any proof that they have done anything inappropriate. Which is another reason why you need to step down.

Edited March 26, 2020 by BaileyB

[Buffer]

Hey Rainfall, how are you doing?

buffer

[rainfall]

 

14 hours ago, BaileyB said:

You need help OP. You have lost your way. Your responses are very disproportionate to the situation. 
It’s not normal to want to cause harm another person and feel no remorse. 

yeah... I’m pretty sure it is normal to want to harm a trash girl that is after my husband. I didn’t realize how many people allow people to just walk all over them. 

13 hours ago, BaileyB said:

I agree. The problem here is not the other woman... who isn’t actually even “another woman.” 
Unless I have missed something, you haven’t even found any proof that they have done anything inappropriate. Which is another reason why you need to step down.

I’m not going to step down until this piece of trash is out of our lives. He’s already talking to her less and hardly texting her. Now I just need her to pay for what she did to us. 

49 minutes ago, Buffer said:

Hey Rainfall, how are you doing?

buffer

Exhausted and stressed. But I’ll be ok. I’m just glad I’m working all of my jobs and able to pay my bills. Hubby might not have a job soon so should be interesting if he is cheating: there’s sooooo much voice stuff to go through and I don’t do my side delivery stuff enough to get through all of it. So I have hours and hours I haven’t listened to. GPS isn’t a thing since we have a shelter in place in my town. 

[rainfall]

13 hours ago, IndigoNight said:

If you make her lose her job, and welfare, what will happen? She will likely be homeless, and so will the child! 

Go confront the woman that you are convinced is sleeping with your husband. If you do ANYTHING that harms the child, by making it homeless, or no food on the table because mommy lost welfare, YOU are a worst homewrecker than she could ever be. No child should suffer the sins of their parents, yet so many do. You have a chance to prevent it for this one child. 

How about you kick your husband out for cheating? If he is cheating. At least he can fend for himself. Put the blame where it goes, on the cheating spouse. Save your venom and hatred for the man who wronged you. You have no clue if he lead her on, or if anything even happened. Get the facts straight before seeking revenge on a single mother. 

Lots of men, married or not, prey on single mothers! They buy them food, and toys for their children. Maybe even pay a bill or two. They use them until it is time to move on. It's more common than you think. Don't believe me, do the research. I have.

Not my problem if she’s homeless. Her ex will get custody of the kid and it will probably have a better life. I don’t know how he hasn’t tried to yet, but I don’t know much about their relationship except he dumped her because she had a miscarriage and told her she wasn’t fit to raise any kids. 
 

and my husband would never buy anything for a kid. He doesn’t like kids and has told me from day one if I want kids we have to end things because he wants a child free life. I don’t see him changing for this disgusting piece of trash. But I’m probably not going to have to even do anything to get her fired. From what I’ve heard where she works is cutting hours and she’s going to get cut off almost completely because she refuses to work weekends or nights. So I’ll just sit back and wait for her employer to cut her hours to the bare minimum so they don’t have to give her unemployment. So we will see how she does on 3 hours a week. I’ll be happy with that. Her apartment requires 15-20 I think 

[rainfall]

2 minutes ago, S2B said:

So you won’t agree to working out at home during this virus epidemic...

does that mean you will quit drinking, smoking and start at thrash eating right?

I like sleep so I’ll keep drinking. And my eating is all over the place since people in my town are still buying everything so I’m eating what I can get. 
 

and I’d rather spend time with my husband vs working out. I’m not going to let this trash girl Steal him. She’s going to lose everything if it goes the way I think with her losing her job. And best part is I did nothing to cause it. She deserves so much worse, but I’ll take jobless and homeless. 

[JTSW]

On 3/26/2020 at 2:29 PM, SummerDreams said:

she is pretending she will leave him after the revenge. She won't. 

Because he will leave her after her psychotic behavior. 

She will end up hurt, alone and hated by all. 

She will be the one to lose everything. 

[JTSW]

11 hours ago, rainfall said:

I like sleep so I’ll keep drinking.

I take it you don't like your health then. 

You really need therapy.