ChatroomHero Posted February 22, 2020 Share Posted February 22, 2020 2 hours ago, sk1977 said: I don’t. I’ve never smoked. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. Never tried, never wanted to try. It is alarming me, that is why I decided to break up with him. It just was/is really hard for me to accept the reality of it all. I think I was in denial. To a point I still am, but less so. I couldn’t believe he could possibly ever do drugs/steal. He is smart, funny, thoughtful and kind, and he looks and behaves completely healthy. He has a job. He also has an amazing family that I got to know. Also, I have never been exposed to drug addiction neither in my family or circle of friends. So, I didn’t know all the horror stories. But thanks to this community of people here, who care enough to respond and give me a glimpse into the lives of addicts and their loved ones, I can see much clearer now. Thank you everyone! At least you get the point it looks like. The reality of it is pretty unreal and it's hard to 'get' or accept. My ex was my biggest fan and was 'devoted' to me more so than anyone else I have been with. What helps you face the facts really quickly is when she would do something so kind, thoughtful and caring for me that I was like wow...then a couple of weeks later find out that on that same day she stole something from me and borrowed my car without me knowing to go do drugs at her dealers and then drove my car high as a kite. You can't rationalize that someone's mind would work like that because unless you are an addict you won't be able to logically rationalize their thought process. As long as you are aware, you can at least make a decision without being blindsided. Good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 Are you very lonely, OP? I ask not to be unkind, or insensitive. I ask because you very much need to address what it is inside you that would even attempt to justify sticking around. Are you worried you won't find another man? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 18 hours ago, sk1977 said: he looks and behaves completely healthy. He gave you the look but it didn't last long before you caught him. There is nothing healthy in a man sweeping you off of your feet while hiding from you he's a hardcore addict, lives in a transition house, is daily tested. He lied to you from day 1 of your relationship how healthy is that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 The one ironclad, don't ever break no matter what rule when it comes to dating should be don't date junkies. Everything else has a time and place you might compromise on. But even if they're in recovery or 10 years sober or whatever, don't bother. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 On 2/20/2020 at 10:49 AM, sk1977 said: but after talking to his family member, turned out he was telling me only about 20% of the whole truth IMO, this seems like it's the last nail in the coffin... With all that has happened the ONE thing you should expect and he should be giving is full on honesty.. so this is a quick glimpse into your future with him if you don't make a CLEAN break.. If you do break up make sure there is no friends stuff.. make it a clean break as he will always be pulling something.. BTW.. have you checked to see if he took anything of yours when he cleaned your house ? also.. you might want to pull a credit report on yourself and do another one 6 months from now, you can do them FREE, there are 3 main agencies so pull one on 2 agencies now and then use your last free one in 6 months. I have been around a drug addict before and nothing is safe.. computers, SS number, Credit Cards,.. nothing.. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 OP did you finally dump him? I'm sorry but he knew he was on the chopping block so he did the chores and paid for dinner to smooth things over. Manipulation is just as bad as lying. He made sure you would feel guilty enough not to breakup with him. He still has a problem, and recovering addicts shouldn't be in relationships...the bad behavior is still there and you now have to sufferer from it. That's complete bull$%^& and you should send him packin. Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 if you just met him and he is also not your husbend why he even have acces to it? its your own fault. beside if he cant take money there is sure no reason for you to give him acces to it.🙄👀 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 "he looks and behaves completely healthy." -- That is what everyone said about Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, etc. . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 I broke up with him. I know four and a half months is not enough time to really get to know someone, but I did fell in love with him and it’s really heard to see your dreams and hopes shattered. Feeling heartbroken. thanks everyone for your support! 7 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 Well I know you did the right thing. It is so hard when we get our hopes up and then we have to go back to having little hope again. We always need some sort of dream or hope on the horizon ti keep us motivated. But you will be just fine, and hopefully the next guy will be on the up-and-up. Just think of it as clearing your runway for landing! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 You did the right thing OP. Borrowing money without asking is really STEALING money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 28, 2020 Author Share Posted February 28, 2020 18 hours ago, S2B said: Did he ever pay you back the money he stole? he did 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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