Gaeta Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, sk1977 said: Yes, one time. It was $20, because he forgot his wallet at home. So why not just ask you instead of defrauding you? I know why, he gave it a first try to see if you'd notice. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Yeah, the more I think about this, the more it stinks. He could have easily called or texted to ask permission to withdraw the money from your account. He didn't even tell you after he did it!! You had to discover it on your bank statement and confront him about it. He admitted he felt entitled to take the money because you gave him your PIN. NOT OK! I agree! Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 So much nope. Dump him. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Never give any man access to your bank accounts unless you're married to them. Also don't loan them money. Maybe suggest he get a second job. There are plenty of them out there. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 12 minutes ago, stillafool said: Never give any man access to your bank accounts unless you're married to them. I'd change it to "Never give anyone access to your bank accounts unless you're married to them. " 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, sk1977 said: Thanks you to all who responded! I really appreciate your thoughts. I don't know if this makes any difference, but he did say he will give me the money back this coming Friday when he gets paid. Love sucks. No, that makes no difference--in fact, that's not even the point. It's the fact that he felt entitled to go into your money and take what wasn't his to take and then look you straight in the face when you gave him $100 and said nothing. Every time he looked in your face after he did that, he knew he was lying by omission by keeping quiet about it. Edited February 6, 2020 by kendahke 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 1 minute ago, kendahke said: It's the fact that he felt entitled to go into your money and take what wasn't his to take and then look you straight in the face when you gave him $100 and said nothing. Every time he looked in your face, he knew he was lying by omission by keeping quiet about it. yes! You are right. I agree. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 1 hour ago, sk1977 said: I gave him the card myself. He offered to go get me something from the store while I was getting ready. So, that's when he withdrew the money. Johnny on the spot he was. Cancel the card after you read this. Cancel all of your credit cards, too while you're at it. He most likely took pictures of your card(s), knows the 3 digit code and the pin to one. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Thievery aside... even if you could overlook that due to whatever circumstances, I'd be so frickin' leery of a guy who could spend "thousands" on me and my kids over a small handful of months, and then suddenly be strapped for cash until payday. He sounds incredibly financially irresponsible AT BEST. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 He made unwarranted assumptions. His earlier response sounded more defensive than truly apologetic. As another poster said, how does a person spend thousands on you and then suddenly NEED $20 because he's strapped for cash? I, personally, have to wonder what he does with his money and how he makes the money he does. He did violate your trust. Be cautious and this will continue to create some friction in your relationship b/c he now feels undermined by your questioning and current cautious behaviour. What does he do? Anyway, you have known him for only 4-months. I suspect there is much more about him to discover and it involves his finances....find out more before falling love after only 4-months and planning to capitulate to him. Good luck! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 20 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said: Thievery aside... even if you could overlook that due to whatever circumstances, I'd be so frickin' leery of a guy who could spend "thousands" on me and my kids over a small handful of months, and then suddenly be strapped for cash until payday. He sounds incredibly financially irresponsible AT BEST. What? You have kids and he took $100 out of your account????? OMG I hope you aren't planning on seeing this guy again he does not care about you or your kids. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 1 hour ago, sk1977 said: I gave him the card myself. He offered to go get me something from the store while I was getting ready. So, that's when he withdrew the money. He offered to get you something, ok I get that part BUT who's idea it was he'd use your card? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He offered to get you something, ok I get that part BUT who's idea it was he'd use your card? I asked him if he wanted me to give him cash to pay for a few grocery items I needed. Usually he would just pay for something like this, but I thought I'd ask to be considerate. He then told me he was short on money this week, because he didn't fill out his time sheet correctly and didn't get paid for entire week. I rarely carry cash on me, so at that point I gave him my card. I know, not the smartest move, but things were going so well, we met each other's families. I thought I had a future with him. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 OP, at just four months, you have no real clue yet what his character actually is. This is out of sync with what you thought you knew about him, I realize. But you have to keep more perspective and understand you two are still in the very early stages. You don't know him as well as you think you do; nobody can, after such a short time together. It sounds like he's been laying it on thick and building up lots of false intimacy with you, and this could well be a calculated attempt to gain your trust so he could attempt to do exactly what he's just tried - steal from you. I would not be so quick to believe his story about timesheets, either. Something tells me that's not the whole truth about why he's so short on cash he stole from you. Whatever his motivations, you need to get rid of him. He's dishonest, untrustworthy and disrespectful. People like him are dangerous to your emotional (and financial!) well-being. 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: OP, at just four months, you have no real clue yet what his character actually is. This is out of sync with what you thought you knew about him, I realize. But you have to keep more perspective and understand you two are still in the very early stages. You don't know him as well as you think you do; nobody can, after such a short time together. It sounds like he's been laying it on thick and building up lots of false intimacy with you, and this could well be a calculated attempt to gain your trust so he could attempt to do exactly what he's just tried - steal from you. I would not be so quick to believe his story about timesheets, either. Something tells me that's not the whole truth about why he's so short on cash he stole from you. Whatever his motivations, you need to get rid of him. He's dishonest, untrustworthy and disrespectful. People like him are dangerous to your emotional (and financial!) well-being. thank you so much for your perspective on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 I don't believe his time-sheet story either. If there is one thing people pay attention to it's their time sheet, specially when they live paycheck to paycheck. I do payroll, I have for years, people don't put down they worked lets say 15 hours instead of 40, that doesn't exist. What does exist is payroll department making mistakes, that yes I'd believe but that's not his story. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 I dunno, having done payroll entry myself for a couple of years, I'm not as quick to call him a liar for the time sheet story. Our guys would have to punch in in the morning (physical ink timestamp on their sheet), then go out in crews, fill out their time sheets with job site info, AND punch another ink timestamp in the evening when they got back, before going home. It was not unheard of for an ENTIRE CREW to completely forget to punch out in the evening, or to not fill in their hours and a job site. I had to call guys up fairly regularly while I was doing the data entry because thing would be blank or not add up right. But it doesn't matter if his story is true or not! Even if it's true, he should have asked to borrow money! I can't even IMAGINE "borrowing" like that from someone after knowing them for four months. That's insane. Who does that??? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Change your PIN number right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I don't believe his time-sheet story either. If there is one thing people pay attention to it's their time sheet, specially when they live paycheck to paycheck. I have to remind my son's support worker to put his time sheet in. And when he was employed by someone else, they told me that he's not the only one who forgets to submit them. Edited February 6, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: Change your PIN number right now. yep, I did that right away when I found out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 Probably not enough just to change the PIN. If he has the info that's on the card, he doesn't need the PIN to use the money in the account. You have to have that card completely deactivated and not connected with that account at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sk1977 Posted February 6, 2020 Author Share Posted February 6, 2020 Just now, Kitty Tantrum said: Probably not enough just to change the PIN. If he has the info that's on the card, he doesn't need the PIN to use the money in the account. You have to have that card completely deactivated and not connected with that account at all. yes, I did cancel the card too the following day. Thank you! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 16 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said: I had to call guys up fairly regularly while I was doing the data entry because thing would be blank or not add up right. Exactly. If something is off l call them to confirm. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Exactly. If something is off l call them to confirm. But if the reason they forgot to fill out their time sheet is because they were chomping at the bit to run out the door and get started on their vacation/camping/hunting trip and don't pick up the phone when you call them, and don't call you back... sometimes they have to wait until next period for their full pay. 😜 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 6, 2020 Share Posted February 6, 2020 (edited) 25 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said: I dunno, having done payroll entry myself for a couple of years, I'm not as quick to call him a liar for the time sheet story. Our guys would have to punch in in the morning (physical ink timestamp on their sheet), then go out in crews, fill out their time sheets with job site info, AND punch another ink timestamp in the evening when they got back, before going home. It was not unheard of for an ENTIRE CREW to completely forget to punch out in the evening, or to not fill in their hours and a job site. I had to call guys up fairly regularly while I was doing the data entry because thing would be blank or not add up right. The reason I doubt his story is not because it sounds generally implausible that payroll mistakes can be made. Not at all, actually. It's because he didn't bother to let her know what happened and ask for extra cash first. It's also because he didn't let know immediately after he took the money, either. Might payroll have made a mistake? Sure, it happens. Is that why I think he was short enough on cash to steal from her? No. I don't think it's that simple, or he likely wouldn't have been so devious to begin with. Edited February 6, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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