Ellener Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) I already wrote about a man who I really really connected with, and I already cut off contact with him because despite having my number and my obvious affection ( also his ) for over a year he never called, we never dated. He's a workoholic. His wife died 14 years ago and it's still the first thing he talked about. I really like and am attracted and he's the most compatible physically I have met in post-menopausal years ( hope that makes sense to non-post-menopausals...) but...until we meet in private as a date or relationship- how can I know what's going on with him? Anyway another guy started writing to me via OLD match.com, what I realised right away is it takes a little time and space to create the same level of interaction then attachment for people our age. I don't want to jump in and out of sexual encounters, and if I did, well I would not be doing it with men in their late 50s and 60s...and as soon as I write that it looks way too superficial for who I am! Second ( Saturday ) date is tomorrow at an art installation. Edited February 7, 2020 by Ellener spelling Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) Good luck on your second date! im not certain it takes more time for connection at our age, maybe just we realize what we thought was deep at 20 really isn’t Edited February 7, 2020 by SumGuy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ellener Posted February 7, 2020 Author Share Posted February 7, 2020 Thanks SumGuy (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) What I am finding is I am meeting special lovely people through OLD ( AND BEING SELECTIVE ) but that doesn't necessarily mean we are the lifelong connection I am looking for. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 I know. At first I thought it was odd, especially when believe we both found each other attractive and could have a fun conversation. Maybe just enough of a difference not meant to be romantic but not enough that couldn't be friends. Not that a first meet ever turned into a friendship, really more do to lack of time than anything else. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, Ellener said: Thanks SumGuy (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) What I am finding is I am meeting special lovely people through OLD ( AND BEING SELECTIVE ) but that doesn't necessarily mean we are the lifelong connection I am looking for. Nah of course not , that person is the rare one out of the best , that everyone hopes to meet . Anyway , good luck and hope you have a nice time . Edited February 7, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 Go at your own pace. I guess the first guy just isn't ready and may never be. Some older men start to value companionship more, and some are still just wanting to find sex. You might try joining a local club such as Eagles or VFW or whatever and volunteer to pour the drinks there or something and you'd meet some people locally. Our local Eagles lodge has a nice sound system and pool and became a hangout for 30-somethings and has been for some years, which kind of ruined it for the older folks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 4 hours ago, Ellener said: Thanks SumGuy (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) What I am finding is I am meeting special lovely people through OLD ( AND BEING SELECTIVE ) but that doesn't necessarily mean we are the lifelong connection I am looking for. I found mainly decent men for the most part (I'm 35 now) so it wasnt all bad, but just no real connections until my fiance. Not bad guys, but just not clicky! Hahahaha 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted February 7, 2020 Share Posted February 7, 2020 Just re your first paragraph there, I have an acquaintance who enjoys talking to women online, can speak for hours on skype and the likes ,but has no desire to physically meet the women, I knew him better a number of years ago and he was very outgoing then, but nowadays while still friendly he tends to avoid too much people contact, sometimes he texts me saying "why can I not bring myself to want to meet any of these women" I do say-"well you are just happy as you are buddy." a change of mindset takes bravery and perhaps 40 pluses lose a little of that. anyway your man's situation probably quite different, but good luck with the latest date, hope it goes well. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 8, 2020 Share Posted February 8, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Daisydooks said: I found mainly decent men for the most part (I'm 35 now) so it wasnt all bad, but just no real connections until my fiance. Not bad guys, but just not clicky! Hahahaha Yeah l did to mostly back when , met mostly some very decent women , but yeah , that stuffs about a lot more than just someone decent. Just on fox's , yeah in a way , and that bravery def' effects a lot of women too later on which l'd think is a lot to do with the same complaints we see all over from guys finding women that just won't act either. But me , l'd think the main thing people get that way and l noticed a lot of it ending up out there again after marriage myself , is they just can't be bothered dealing with it all anymore too , going through all the bs to just end up nowhere , lotta time and effort for nothing or maybe ending up involved again for yet again it just doesn't work out and things like that. l know for myself if things didn't work out with my gf now , don't think l could be bothered again either unless someone ideal happened to just fall into my lap.. Edited February 8, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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