my ex gf has come back again.

[grayeyes]

so ill keep this shortish. anyways , my ex left me a year and a half ago. roughly. i loved this woman to death, but she was suffering from some clear signs of bipolar and possible narcissism even extreme anxiety but thats still no excuse. she left me twice in the long time we were together. ive seen some serious patterns with her. she tends to "copy cat" her friends personalitys. and the type of people she hangs out with are either dominant females ( ones who are bitchy , use men, think their s*** dont stink) or ass kissers ( ones that just agree with anything, even if its morally wrong, like a bunch of lil followers). keep in mind there were points in our relationship that were great, where she realized what she was doing and cut these people out of her life. but the moment they started coming back in , she would act out, its like jimminy cricket whispering evil in her ear and her believing it.

ok back to the story, so the first time she left me for another man, it was like her friends were trying to break us up. and she listened. they were setting up her dates. keep in mind we have a child together as well. i tried hard to make things work and keep us together, BOTH times she left me. but both times her mind was made up , or so she said.

i stayed single for about 2 years, kind of in shock but you know the saying fool my once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. so i kind of was at fault for thinking our love was real.

about 9 months ago i asked her why she did everything she ever did to me. and she said she never really loved me and always felt that there was someone else for her. that was heart breaking , but i set down our relationship that i held on to , and walked away from it n have not looked back. 

well now i met this new girl , like i said its been two years, i havent even had sex or gone on dates, ive had lots of interested women, but ive always blown them off because i just get this gut feeling and remember how my ex treated me.

anyways, i met this red head woman, and shes different, extremely pretty, not even the type of girl i usually go for. or have ever even been with. 

and shes crazy about me. like texting me till 3 in the morning crazy. not that its a bad thing.

my ex messaged me saying that shes miserable and that she has no one to talk to , and  a whole bunch of other crap, basically saying that she wants to meet back up and talk. and probably try and get back together a 3rd time. keep in mind, i never thought she would ever come back , thought it was literally impossible and i cried alot over her. what a waste.

now obviously im not going back to that s***, i never will,  it was a night mare, minus the good times. which only lasted maybe a year out of almost 8 years. 

the thing is , i do feel bad for her, i feel like this pity, like " you got what you deserved" yet at the same time " i wish i could help but its impossible, you betrayed me twice"

i think its hard just because we have a child. but i find it just so strange, the moment i meet a new woman, there she is but  yet in the 2 years i a was broken and couldnt sleep for months n months, she was no where to be seen.

i think this new woman could be the one, we click so well, its just a weird good feeling that im getting.

anyways, just thought id share this post. maybe hope for some or what ever you would like to comment. i personally am going to be polite and tell my ex " im sorry this is happening to you and i hope you can find peace one day"  and ill leave it at that.

 

 

[Marc878]

You’d be smart to block the x on everything. No other woman wants an x the mix in any way, shape or form.

 

[preraph]

^ This.  Do NOT let this woman poison your new life and relationships.  She never did love you and she doesn't even know who she is.  Block her so she cannot meddle, because she will.  

[zeyta]

3 hours ago, preraph said:

Do NOT let this woman poison your new life and relationships.  She never did love you and she doesn't even know who she is. 

I agree with this ^....But if you have a child together, you cant just cut off contact and block her. Just try to keep it as minimum as possible, only child related talk and stuff, and let her deal with her own problems. Do not tell her anything about your dating life or your happiness, do not make her your friend. You are only responsable for the kid's needs and that's all. 

Any other conversation topic, not related to your kid, just cut off or try to keep as minimum as possible.

 

[scooby-philly]

Agree with the previous posters. Do not talk to her about anything related to your personal life. Not work/career, love-life, family, etc. Just let her go. I'm a big fan of the saying "people dig their own graves". While she may have mental health issues, bi-polar disorder can be treated with medication and counseling and most importantly - the effort put in by the individual. If she doesn't have opinions, values, or a mind of her own then that's not something that's related to the bi-polar. That's another mental health issue all together. Keep things cordial and strictly relate to your child. And a piece of advice - no more fathering of children with people with mental health problems.

[Highndry]

What are you doing, man? She cheated on you and dumped you twice and you have a new, beautiful woman interested in you and you're still available for that old skank? Good lord, tell her to fawk off and only contact you if it's about the kid.

[schlumpy]

On 2/8/2020 at 1:58 PM, grayeyes said:

anyways, i met this red head woman, and shes different, extremely pretty, not even the type of girl i usually go for. or have ever even been with. 

and shes crazy about me. like texting me till 3 in the morning crazy. not that its a bad thing.

my ex messaged me saying that shes miserable and that she has no one to talk to , and  a whole bunch of other crap, basically saying that she wants to meet back up and talk. and probably try and get back together a 3rd time. keep in mind, i never thought she would ever come back , thought it was literally impossible and i cried alot over her. what a waste.

 

i think this new woman could be the one, we click so well, its just a weird good feeling that im getting.

 

 

 

There is a long term scientific argument in biological and behavioral sciences and that is the Nature or Nurture argument. How much of what we are is prewired into our brains and how much is a learned behavior? I used to think maybe 20 percent prewired but over years I've had to up that percentage to around 60 percent. Too many people I've know over the years are prisoners of their own minds and natures.

You sir are a model prisoner.

You say you won't go back but you are still talking to her and allowing her to push your prewired buttons? Why did experience have so little effect on your long-term behavior?

You find a new women and because she texts you till all hours of the night you assume she's really into you? She sounds a bit unstable to my way of thinking.

I suggest you tell your new girlfriend your thoughts about your EX. That should short out most of the prewiring in your brain and keep you safe - albeit alone.