Lamp82 Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 Had my first call with a girl I’m pursuing the other day but it wasn’t the best in term of moving forward. It wasn’t exactly bad in terms of any clashing but i didn’t get a chance to elevate the conversation because it was over in five min so it was a little bland. I’m thinking that might have been my fault because she may be the type that needs challenging straight away. It ended with her closing the call and saying “she’ll text me” which was 4 days ago. I’m thinking should I leave it to her to contact me or should I treat it as my mistake due to being to cool and initiate with a little more engagement and directness? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 I'm guessing this is someone you met on OLD, but have not yet met in person? What do you mean by "elevate" the conversation, exactly? Ask her out, or? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamp82 Posted February 10, 2020 Author Share Posted February 10, 2020 22 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: I'm guessing this is someone you met on OLD, but have not yet met in person? What do you mean by "elevate" the conversation, exactly? Ask her out, or? No not OLD we’re aquatinted in the real world but only met but only slightly through being in the same area and having local businesses. and yeah ask her out and engage her emotionally about her or me an her etc. Rather than have a bland conversation that gives no answers or pulls her strings so you can gauge interest and build rapport Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 She told you she would text you. She hasn't in 4 days. That says it all. Saying that, I've always been one to try and fail, as opposed to never try at all. So yes text her, only once with something short and to the point - ask her out for a date on a specific day. No pointless back and forth chit chat. If she makes any sort of excuse or says she will 'let you know' then you do not contact her again, unless she contacts you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 (edited) She blew you off. It's the don't call me, I'll call you thing. Edited February 10, 2020 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted February 10, 2020 Share Posted February 10, 2020 2 hours ago, Mystery4u said: She told you she would text you. She hasn't in 4 days. That says it all. Saying that, I've always been one to try and fail, as opposed to never try at all. So yes text her, only once with something short and to the point - ask her out for a date on a specific day. No pointless back and forth chit chat. If she makes any sort of excuse or says she will 'let you know' then you do not contact her again, unless she contacts you. 43 minutes ago, smackie9 said: She blew you off. It's the don't call me, I'll call you thing. you needed to ask her out on a date ln that first call. not that she would of said yes but girls get turned out by a man that if afraid to ask them out. which definitely lowers the odds of a woman saying yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamp82 Posted February 11, 2020 Author Share Posted February 11, 2020 11 hours ago, oldtruck said: you needed to ask her out on a date ln that first call. not that she would of said yes but girls get turned out by a man that if afraid to ask them out. which definitely lowers the odds of a woman saying yes. I could’ve gone straight into it but didn’t expect the call to finish in five minutes usually I can’t get them of the phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 19 hours ago, smackie9 said: She blew you off. It's the don't call me, I'll call you thing. It is looking this way, but I would give it one more shot and ask her out. What is the worst that can happen? She says no, like it looks she has now. If she says yes for a free feed you have the foot in the door again... Give it one more crack!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 You call to make a date. If you get off the phone without a date, it's usually over. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 7 hours ago, Lamp82 said: I could’ve gone straight into it but didn’t expect the call to finish in five minutes usually I can’t get them of the phone. So it was her who cut the call short? What did you talk about? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 I would not call her. Her ending the call & promising to get in touch but failing to do so is a sign that she's not interested. Since you do know her IRL, if you run into her somewhere you can engage in person. Start with polite banal small talk & judge her response. Unless it's enthusiastic & flirty as opposed to cool & polite, this my be a non-starter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamp82 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 On 2/11/2020 at 11:23 AM, ExpatInItaly said: So it was her who cut the call short? What did you talk about? Yeah she cut it short but just small talk really; like I said I didn’t even get the chance to elevate the conversation to challenge her or get her excited as it was only 5min Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lamp82 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 On 2/11/2020 at 3:09 PM, d0nnivain said: I would not call her. Her ending the call & promising to get in touch but failing to do so is a sign that she's not interested. Since you do know her IRL, if you run into her somewhere you can engage in person. Start with polite banal small talk & judge her response. Unless it's enthusiastic & flirty as opposed to cool & polite, this my be a non-starter. I called her anyway... I know the whole sit an wait for her to contact you routine but I had a feeling this situation would be better handled with another call and ended up lining up a date for next week 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Glad it worked out. Have fun on your date. Link to post Share on other sites
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