bradt93 Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 I have a hard time socializing, I have bipolar and aspergers. I'm still a virgin at 31 and for 13 years I've never had a serious relationship with a woman. I just have to wonder are women repulsed by me, what is wrong with me? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 You're neuro atypical and women have a hard time connecting with you, and possibly reading you. Is your bipolar being managed well? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 I wouldn't worry about it man, just hit the gym, self improve and continue living your life; no you are not an incel! Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 1 hour ago, bradt93 said: I have bipolar and aspergers. I just have to wonder are women repulsed by me, what is wrong with me? I don't think women are repulsed by you, I think it is more of a scared or guarded feeling. You are a tall, large man that is awkward (or presents as awkward), thus they are keeping their distance. Humans give a wide berth to something they are afraid of. My advice is to work out, get lean, trim and muscular, then watch how other men talk to women. Because you are "bipolar and have Asperberger Syndrome" at 31, you are a little behind in basic social development. Go to a bar and just observe and learn how other men interact with women. It is going to take some time, but just take "mental notes'. After a good amount of time of watching and learning, imitate their behavior and techniques. Keep in mind, you will be rejected (many times, all men have)... you can't get angry if you are rejected, you take it in stride and try again. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 If one is celibate involuntarily, that meets the definition. In general, any man who defines outlier of what women are generally socialized into as an attractive man will experience a thinner dating pool and the result will be fewer dates, more difficulty finding a compatible mate and sexual intimacy. Women aren't necessarily repulsed, rather aren't attracted. There is a difference. IMO, work on social interaction and non-romantic relationships first. Then watch what men who are successful with women do. It might seem unnatural. That's OK. In time it all melds together. If dx'd with psychological issues, continue treatment. Your personal health is the gift that keeps giving in life. Other humans come and go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2020 Author Share Posted February 11, 2020 3 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: I don't think women are repulsed by you, I think it is more of a scared or guarded feeling. You are a tall, large man that is awkward (or presents as awkward), thus they are keeping their distance. Humans give a wide berth to something they are afraid of. My advice is to work out, get lean, trim and muscular, then watch how other men talk to women. Because you are "bipolar and have Asperberger Syndrome" at 31, you are a little behind in basic social development. Go to a bar and just observe and learn how other men interact with women. It is going to take some time, but just take "mental notes'. After a good amount of time of watching and learning, imitate their behavior and techniques. Keep in mind, you will be rejected (many times, all men have)... you can't get angry if you are rejected, you take it in stride and try again. Why do you think I'm "large"? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 @bradt93 In a previous thread, you shared your height, weight and a picture of yourself. To have a normal BMI, a 6 foot tall man needs to weigh around 180 pounds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2020 Author Share Posted February 11, 2020 9 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: @bradt93 In a previous thread, you shared your height, weight and a picture of yourself. To have a normal BMI, a 6 foot tall man needs to weigh around 180 pounds. I think I look fine and I do work out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2020 Author Share Posted February 11, 2020 Since I was 18, I've never attempted to really approach a woman, because of my social anxiety so I hope that answers your question a little bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 11, 2020 Author Share Posted February 11, 2020 At least Happy Lemmings was honest with me when he said the women on here thought I was unattractive when they saw my pic on my profile. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 11, 2020 Share Posted February 11, 2020 OP, I tried some of the advice regarding the superficial stuff decades ago while a virgin. Did all the appearance and money stuff. Didn't make any difference. By watching other men I learned to be less polite and less measured and more impulsive and take more risks, not totally reckless or endangering people but getting out of my comfort zone of always being safe. It was during that period I learned the value of not approaching relationships as a math problem, rather more like art or music. I learned the art of smooth talk and schmoozing and got to enjoy it whether it worked or not. My dad was a poor role model for the women of my generation, he was too measured and gentlemanly, part of that greatest generation that survived the war. I had to unlearn all that stuff. It was useless for mating. Grandmas loved it though. Whatever you do though, do it for yourself, not to get laid or get a girlfriend. Women come and go. Anyway, there are very few people posting here who were virgins at your age; I'm one of them, strong religion influence. It'll work out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 One thing I noticed though is that a lot of women don't like blonde hair and blue eyed guys. I always see them with men who have dark hair and brown eyes. Very strange. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 It's okay, I know what the majority of women on here think of my pic and it's not good, I never should've posted it. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 How many times have you worn a fedora or used the term ‘betabux’ in the last month. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 28 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: How many times have you worn a fedora or used the term ‘betabux’ in the last month. I think you have the wrong thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 On 2/11/2020 at 8:35 AM, bradt93 said: I have a hard time socializing, I have bipolar and aspergers. I'm still a virgin at 31 and for 13 years I've never had a serious relationship with a woman. I just have to wonder are women repulsed by me, what is wrong with me? I wouldn't say they are repulsed by you.... Maybe just not the top pick what they are looking for? For the most part to meet someone new for what ever reason there is some socializing, it might be small talk on a crib break at work or a lineup to get a beer at the local pub, it might be a good looking girl out of your league or the bloke that works beside you, practice small talk and a few jokes, even fun dry humour. What ever it takes to catch the persons attention and leave them wanting more. Virgin at 31.... Yes and I have a cat, that will NOT help you in getting laid!!! Don't dwell on that, it is NOT helping (stop being the victim). Here is where I should be saying there is a girl for each of us, we just have to keep looking, but that is the biggest lie going!!! There is not, even if the population was say heavy populated in females there would likely be some males without mates. It is called hypergamy and millions of years of evolution has made women this way. Humans may not have survived without it!!! Spend some time and look up the broader meaning, it explains a lot. Also look up and concentrate on values in hypergamy that you can control and work on. Life is not fare!!! Get that into your head!!! Most women are looking for there best mates in hypergamy, if you can't play by nature's rules you will stay a virgin (unless you pay for it). AWALT, sometimes I can not sugar coat the truth. If you have never looked this up I have given you heaps of hints for hours in Google. On 2/11/2020 at 12:23 PM, carhill said: If one is celibate involuntarily, that meets the definition. In general, any man who defines outlier of what women are generally socialized into as an attractive man will experience a thinner dating pool and the result will be fewer dates, more difficulty finding a compatible mate and sexual intimacy. Women aren't necessarily repulsed, rather aren't attracted. There is a difference. IMO, work on social interaction and non-romantic relationships first. Then watch what men who are successful with women do. It might seem unnatural. That's OK. In time it all melds together. If dx'd with psychological issues, continue treatment. Your personal health is the gift that keeps giving in life. Other humans come and go. Yes, I like this!!! 10 hours ago, bradt93 said: One thing I noticed though is that a lot of women don't like blonde hair and blue eyed guys. I always see them with men who have dark hair and brown eyes. Very strange. I have not looked for your photo, so I don't know.... A friend I grew up with had blonde hair blue eyes maybe 5' 5" never had many GF's in school, anyway out of the blue he asked this girl to marry him, we didn't even know they were dating at the time.... She was a little shy when we met (mouse) and they kind of kept to themselves..... 20+ years later I go back for a visit and they are still together, both their kids are late teens early 20's. He has a really "NICE" retirement savings, local job that pays the bills and is picking up work for a home business. His wife flowered and is now "Drop dead gorgeous" at nearly 50..... We talk share trading for hours as that is there hobby as in my own. Never discount anyone!!! I was pleasantly surprised in the changes of some people in the 20 years that I had not seen them. They may not be playmate material now but might be down the track. Some people may not seem very smart when you first meet them but with opportunity may prove to be a real asset with finances. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 On 2/10/2020 at 4:35 PM, bradt93 said: I have a hard time socializing, I have bipolar and aspergers. I'm still a virgin at 31 and for 13 years I've never had a serious relationship with a woman. I just have to wonder are women repulsed by me, what is wrong with me? Is it really that all women reject you, or is it that you're rejecting more approachable women out of hand and approaching women who might be more selective? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bradt93 Posted February 13, 2020 Author Share Posted February 13, 2020 I said hi to one of the women in my class today and she smiled and said hey back. I'm going to do what you guys have said, small talk. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 👍 Way to go! Link to post Share on other sites
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