Eire111 Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 (edited) Just looking for some advice please sorry for the long mail, me and my ex gf broke up in December, Limited contact mainly my side,Monday I text her to collect the last of my stuff. She said she it was too painful to see me and would post it too me. We got into a text fight with her saying some hurtful things but in between them was I would have married you in the morning etc how much she did love me and then insults again, went on for a few hours then last night I get a text from her saying we are never getting back together and saying I hope you mam is doing okay (she is not well at the moment), I hope I won my custody battle (in court between break up with an ex) etc etc. The break up was so stupid its comical, we had a row one day and she asked me to leave which I obliged she didn't reach out for a few days and then when she did it was about collecting my stuff and on that day I spoke to her friend who said my ex told her it was over . I stupidly downloaded a dating app the next day to see if she was on it and half out of ego/hurt. I honestly deleted it after I set it up as I new how stupid it was (her friend seen me on it) for the few hours I was on it and she is accusing me of cheating on her ( I do understand her point of view). Since the break up I have been trying to win her back, she won't talk to me at all, so I text her Monday trying to explain it, she replied I have listen to everything you have to say but am not changing my mind, I would have married you in the morning you blew it. I am normally a secure confident guy, even when I found out my ex-wife had an affair and left me for a married man I took it in my stride, without sounding big headed I can have my pic of woman but this girl I love for her soul not her looks. I have done all the mistakes begging explain promising etc etc and I know it doesn't work first time I lost emotional control. Here is my two part question she keeps telling me she is heartbroken she loves me but won't get back with me, would have married me, struggling to get out of bed etc etc. however mutual friends tell me she is out ever weekend, posting on social media about how happy she is etc etc. Should I give her space for a few months and reach out, while I continue personal growth or am I been played as a back up plan etc Edited February 12, 2020 by Eire111 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 Yes. Give her at least three months of space. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eire111 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 Cheers Mrin We have been split up for two months with contact, do i start three months from now or one more month Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 Breakups are pretty bad. We call them breakups because they are broken. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 It looks to me like she was looking for a reason to breakup and then the fight. Did she start it or did you? Everything afterwards was just grist for the justification mill. You are a in love with quite a actress. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eire111 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 Cheers Schlumpy, I am wondering the same thing, all her friends are recently single grass is greener syndrome. Fight was petty and could have been resolved tbh. I just wish she would be honest and say she wants to be single or whatever is going on in her head Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 What was the fight about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eire111 Posted February 12, 2020 Author Share Posted February 12, 2020 Nothing major, I got bad news about my mam that day. I wanted to talk to her when she put her child to bed, I went back on fags after the news and was going to tell her why but she found them in my car before I got a chance she launched into me and then asked me to leave, I wanted to stay and talk to her but my head was in a bad place with the news so left then was hurt she didn’t reach out that week granted she didn’t know what I wanted to talk to her about, and when she did reach out four days later it was to collect my stuff. I misread the situation and thought she was with someone else Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eire111 Posted February 13, 2020 Author Share Posted February 13, 2020 (edited) Hi looking for some perspective and a lot of advice on what to do please Me and my ex broke up mid-December over a complete misunderstanding, she dumped me very little communication but when there is it's on my side. I had to text her Monday to ask to get the last of my stuff and asked could we meet, she said no and she would leave it at the door or for me to post, we were texting with a lot of insults been throwing at each other mainly her side and in between them her saying she would have married me in the morning, how much she loved me etc. She is still angry with me but still cares for me, she emphasised the fact a few times how she would have married me in the morning and how the two years with me were the best years of her life but its over for her. I did try reach out to her too much in the past two months and pushed her further away, long story short we had a row and she asked me to leave on a Monday then on the Thursday of that week she asked me to come collect my stuff and I rang her friend to see what was going on (her friend told me my ex said it was over), so on the Friday I downloaded a dating app half to see if my ex was on it as we were making plans for the future and then to be told it was over didn't make sense to me and half out of ego/hurt I was on it for about twenty mins and had plans to delete it as I knew it was stupid been on it, my ex was on it on a fake profile and seen me, she hasn't spoke to me since. I did all the usually mistakes begging pleading over texting etc. which has made it a lot worse and I can't believe myself I done it as I am usually able to control my emotions and am secure and not needy and she loved that about me I never needed her but wanted her and am embarrassed now as to how I handled it So on Monday she was accusing me of cheating on her how i was a pig etc etc. I explained my side of the story to her on Monday, to which she replied I have now listened to your side of the story and I am not changing my mind and telling me to take care of myself etc. So my question is do I leave her alone for a few months and try reach out as she is still angry but does love me and I love her or how do I play this Edited February 13, 2020 by Eire111 Link to post Share on other sites
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