Is there any hope of salvaging this relationship? THANK YOU!

[JTSW]

On 2/19/2020 at 2:41 PM, MaxxNY said:

In the mean time Im sitting here like an ass**le trying to figure out how to make things work. 

Don't.

Just let it go.

I feel like i know who this woman is.

There is another poster here on the forum, also in NY and had the exact same issues with a European woman.

She was highly manipulative and nasty (like this girl).

She made him feel like everything he did and said was wrong and she blamed him for everything.

He saw sense and put an end to it and you should do the same.

[MaxxNY]

2 hours ago, JTSW said:

On 2/19/2020 at 9:41 AM, MaxxNY said:

In the mean time Im sitting here like an ass**le trying to figure out how to make things work. 

Don't.

Just let it go.

I feel like i know who this woman is

Wow, are you saying it could be the same person? Who was the op?

[JTSW]

1 hour ago, MaxxNY said:

Wow, are you saying it could be the same person? Who was the op?

I'll see if I can find his post. 

Where is this girl from? 

[MaxxNY]

On 3/10/2020 at 12:31 PM, JTSW said:

Where is this girl from?

Netherlands 

[JTSW]

I will tell you what i told this other OP.

If things are difficult now then it'll be a whole lot worse later on if you end up getting married etc.

She is very manipulative and controlling and this wont get any better.

She will eventually alienate you from friends and family until you're bending to her will completely.

[MaxxNY]

8 hours ago, JTSW said:

She will eventually alienate you from friends and family until you're bending to her will completely

I hear ya, relationships tend to get tested over time, so its important to start "ahead" of the curve. The funny thing is that before our fallout the dynamic was reversed and she was the one that craved to be submissive. 

[MaxxNY]

I have been in NC for almost a month. On one hand Im contemplating reaching out to her to see how she is with all the craziness going on. On the other hand Im thinking, is there a point...?

Edited March 20, 2020 by MaxxNY

[JTSW]

Don't do it. 

[ExpatInItaly]

On 3/20/2020 at 11:01 PM, MaxxNY said:

I have been in NC for almost a month. On one hand Im contemplating reaching out to her to see how she is with all the craziness going on. On the other hand Im thinking, is there a point...?

No, there really isn't. 

[MaxxNY]

Thank you both, I'm continuing with NC. I hope everyone is doing well considering current circumstances 

[jolehno]

I just read your first post and couldnt stop myself from writing you this. Let her go! I was married for 16 years, (first marriage) to what at the time I tought was the most loving girl I have ever meet, boy, was I wrong!! She behaveded just like your girl,what I mistakenly tought was deep love for me, ...and after she got pregnant, had 16 years of pure hell. Dont make the mistakes I did.

[MaxxNY]

On 3/31/2020 at 10:23 AM, jolehno said:

I just read your first post and couldnt stop myself from writing you this. Let her go! I was married for 16 years, (first marriage) to what at the time I tought was the most loving girl I have ever meet, boy, was I wrong!! She behaveded just like your girl,what I mistakenly tought was deep love for me, ...and after she got pregnant, had 16 years of pure hell. Dont make the mistakes I did.

Jolehno, thank you for that warning. I appreciate that. What was she like if you dont mind sharing?

[dangerous]

On 3/25/2020 at 12:47 PM, MaxxNY said:

Thank you both, I'm continuing with NC. I hope everyone is doing well considering current circumstances 

Clearly you haven't gone NC because you said she texted you, then deleted and you questioned her. Just go NC!

Everything the others have told you is true. I have been with women like this, it is not unique.

Move on. Full stop. 

[Ashley89]

On 3/3/2020 at 1:57 PM, Watercolors said:

That is the precise problem with online communication. The deception factor is higher if your main conduit of communication is text messaging or emailing. Even video chatting is not as reliable as spending time with each other in person. Remember the days of yore, when there was no voicemail, no cellphones, no emails or text messages. If you liked someone, you went out on physical dates, talked to each other on the phone, or wrote each other letters. 

Unfortunately, you learned quickly who she really was, when she came to visit you and created all that drama with her temper tantrums. That's who she really is and she gave you a glimpse of her true character. I joked earlier that you two were like Ross and Emily from Friends. But you were also in a very 90-Day Fiancé scenario where you two barely knew each other. 

This is a good article about which online venues to use for online relationships. The take-away from it, is that genuine people are more honest on social media websites and tend to lie more on dating websites. And disingenuous people will just lie across all medial platforms. 

Stick with NYC. You're bound to meet your "Rachel" there. But if you do want to date someone who already lives abroad, don't doubt or second-guess yourself like you did with this young woman who clearly was not a very rational person. Always trust your gut. Your gut never lies. 

Exactly! Online communication can be SO deceiving. Meeting someone for five minutes will tell you more about them than weeks of chatting over an app. And yes, let's be honest, all of us lie , even those small lies when we want to make ourselves look better on Tinder or so.