thromback Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 This is going to be long sorry.. Ok so this girl I've known since I was 9 liked me over the summer. I liked her but not like a real lot. We hooekd up about four times over the summer. When she asked what we were or whatever I said I wanted to see what happends. She gets invovled with a guy for a week then came back to me an apologized. She got angry because I was supposed to go to her field hockey game and hangout with her at night and I couldn't. After that she's been way colder and said she loves me but she doesn't want to ruin our relationship as friends. She awlays asks me to hangout and says I love mike on her away messages. Thing that gets to me is sometimes like shell be all over me and sometimes shell get mad if I even hold her hand. I'm wondering what I should do to get her to like me more and trust me more we hangout alot but just as friends now . Link to post Share on other sites
Author thromback Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 can I get a bump?? I wanted to knwo what I should do I like her alot Link to post Share on other sites
JS17 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 It doesn't sound to me like shes ok with just being friends with you. It sounds to me like she has some very strong feelings for you and you've sent her some hardcore mixed signals which has been hurting her. I don't understand why you would do something like trying to hold her hand if you're not interested in her romantically. I think you need to decide what you really want. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 sometimes shell get mad if I even hold her hand. That can't be good right there. If a girl you were interested in was holding YOUR hand, would you get bothered and angry by it? Of course not...(although the situation is slightly different for girls and guys I admit) Sounds like you were only half-heartedly interested, she got the impression you weren't into her and tried to move on. So you missed your chance essentially, the window of opportunity has passed. Now since you can't have her anymore, you start to like her and wonder why you didn't take the opportunity in the first place. Don't keep hanging out with her as 'friends' you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 exactly Blue.. And also, I don't see anything that would signal that she's into you. Maybe a little, but probably not enough to want to go out with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thromback Posted October 8, 2005 Author Share Posted October 8, 2005 That can't be good right there. If a girl you were interested in was holding YOUR hand, would you get bothered and angry by it? Of course not...(although the situation is slightly different for girls and guys I admit) Sounds like you were only half-heartedly interested, she got the impression you weren't into her and tried to move on. So you missed your chance essentially, the window of opportunity has passed. Now since you can't have her anymore, you start to like her and wonder why you didn't take the opportunity in the first place. Don't keep hanging out with her as 'friends' you deserve better. That is kind of it what you said, so what should I do I don't want to hurt her but she did something to piss me off last night. She asked me to hangout and I was going to go to movies with my friends and I was like you can come and she's like your friends don't like me. I said you can come over then and she said ok. Last minute she says I don't feel like moving I'm tired come here. I called her when I was about to leave she said let's just hangout tomorrow. Basically I dicked my friends over for nothing before I went to bed she was like I love you, but I don't know what to do.. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 That is kind of it what you said, so what should I do I don't want to hurt her but she did something to piss me off last night. She asked me to hangout and I was going to go to movies with my friends and I was like you can come and she's like your friends don't like me. I said you can come over then and she said ok. Last minute she says I don't feel like moving I'm tired come here. I called her when I was about to leave she said let's just hangout tomorrow. Basically I dicked my friends over for nothing before I went to bed she was like I love you, but I don't know what to do.. Just become less available to her. Do NOT do the kind of thing you did last night ever again. You were going to the movies, she asked you to hang out. So you did the right thing at first...you said you were busy but asked her to come along. She whines about it, that's where you end it right there and say "Well maybe another time." or something along those lines. Don't just ditch all your friends and then ask her to come over, to which she just changes her mind and blows you off. You realize how unattractive it is when someone is willing to revolve and change their entire schedule around another? (even when they aren't even bf/gf) Hang out with your friends more, keep busy. Don't accept every invitation from her, you have other priorities in life remember? After she realizes "hey, maybe I don't have this guy wrapped around my finger afterall..." you might be able to see where she stands on a possible relationship between you two. But I wouldn't bank on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Aimée Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 I'm confused, do you like her or not? She's passive-aggressive (hence the getting angry when you want to hold her hand), because you're giving of mixed signals, you don't want her as a girlfriend now, but you want her to like you more. If you were a girl every guy on this board would be shouting now what a b*tch she is to lead you on and that it's better to dump her. Oh wait, they did already, despite this: When she asked what we were or whatever I said I wanted to see what happends. And you guys pity him and tell him to find someone better???? And this: She awlays asks me to hangout and says I love mike on her away messages. doesn't show her interest in him strongly enough??? Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 And you guys pity him and tell him to find someone better???? I said he DESERVES better, meaning that he shouldn't hang around her when she isn't returning his feelings by her actions. No where did I say "she deserves someone better." Just because he missed the window of opportunity doesn't mean he should keep hanging around while she strings him along. Although she may say "I love you!" and all this garbage, she won't let him hold her hand, and she blew him off last night because she was 'tired' or whatever. Actions speak louder than words. Link to post Share on other sites
elijahBailey Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 dang, Blue beat me to it again.. But yeah, I reread the whole thread again, and you know what.... what the OP thinks she's thinking could go either ways. But I vote for that she's not totally into him. Doesn't matter if she says the 'I love you' a hundred times over, if she's into him, she wouldn't have been so passive. Asking some dude to hang out with you doesn't mean squat. Hey, I used to ask girls that I wasn't interest in to hang out with me when my girl's out of town. The clues are all there but the OP's not gettin' it. She said.. she loves me but she doesn't want to ruin our relationship as friends. Doesn't matter how you analyze it. I would've been long gone if I heard that. A woman who digs a guy wouldn't even risk using the 'friends' word. I'll decode it for you plain and simple.... it should read 'I may have some feelings for you, but I you're still in the friends zone. If Mr. Big comes along, I'm gonna have to ditch you'. In other words.... 'can you just stick around until I find a dude that I'm not ambivalent about? thanks'. If a girl knows you that long and is still unsure about her feelings, I think you should consider cutting your losses and run. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thromback Posted October 8, 2005 Author Share Posted October 8, 2005 I'm confused, do you like her or not? She's passive-aggressive (hence the getting angry when you want to hold her hand), because you're giving of mixed signals, you don't want her as a girlfriend now, but you want her to like you more. If you were a girl every guy on this board would be shouting now what a b*tch she is to lead you on and that it's better to dump her. Oh wait, they did already, despite this: And you guys pity him and tell him to find someone better???? And this: doesn't show her interest in him strongly enough??? Aime well I said I wanted to see what happends because she hooekd up with someone and I didn't trust her, why do you seem so angry towards me? And I do want her as a girlfriend now I said that was the past (that I wasn't sure and I told her why due to fact she hooked up with another guy. I didn't do the lets not ruin our friendship crap.) I haven't sent her any mixed signals she's the one sending me mixed signals. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thromback Posted October 8, 2005 Author Share Posted October 8, 2005 I'm confused, do you like her or not? She's passive-aggressive (hence the getting angry when you want to hold her hand), because you're giving of mixed signals, you don't want her as a girlfriend now, but you want her to like you more. If you were a girl every guy on this board would be shouting now what a b*tch she is to lead you on and that it's better to dump her. Oh wait, they did already, despite this: And you guys pity him and tell him to find someone better???? And this: doesn't show her interest in him strongly enough??? I do like her, If I didn't like her I wouldn't of posted this I'm just confused because she's giving me mixed signals. Sorry for double post. Link to post Share on other sites
Aimée Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 Aime well I said I wanted to see what happends because she hooekd up with someone and I didn't trust her, why do you seem so angry towards me? And I do want her as a girlfriend now I said that was the past (that I wasn't sure and I told her why due to fact she hooked up with another guy. I didn't do the lets not ruin our friendship crap.) I haven't sent her any mixed signals she's the one sending me mixed signals. Sorry, hon, that was not my intention, I probably got too carried away. I think you have to explain your situation again, because I'm getting lost with the details. You two hooked up a couple of times over the summer. Then she asked you where you were heading while at the same time she was trying to hook up with someone else? And that's why you told her you wanted to see what happened? At the moment you don't know what she wants, but you know you want more? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thromback Posted October 8, 2005 Author Share Posted October 8, 2005 That's basically it she said she did it because we stopped talking for a week?? I don't know it's just hard because I've known her for like 7 years but in middle school she moved then moved back for highschool. The thing is I don't know what to do. I like her and all her friends say she likes me and she tells me it too. She gets mad if I hold her hand now though and I think she just wants me around because she's bored. I think I'm just going to be less avaiable. I'll retell story more clearer.. She liked me alot over the summer and her interest level was very high. I liked her too and we hung out and hooked up almost everytime we hungout. She knew I had problems trusting people due to prior experiences. She hooked up with one of my friends (not my close one thank god). She then asked me a day later what we were and I said I like you, but I need to see what happends because I lost trust in you. She then hooks up with a foreign exchange student for a week because she said she interpretaed that as I don't like her anymore. Her friends told me that they think she used him to get me to like her and it did work.After that incident, everything was good and we were hanging out. I dont drink because I don't like to and we are both under the age. We went to a party and she got drunk and I took care of her all night and the next day she said it was so nice of me. That week was her field hockey game and I was supposed to go and then we were going to go to my house after. (I couldn't go because my mom wouldnt drive me to the game (she thought this was a lie..) The really bad thing was that night I had a surprise party to go to that I thought it was next week and it was that night. I told her, in school I wasnt going to be able to hangout at night. ) She then became extremly cold and said she loved me still but when I do that stuff it makes her like me less. I thought I made it up to her by hanging out with her the next couple of days (we hooked up but that's when she said you only like me for my hookups (which is not true). We still hungout alot after that, but she wont even let me hold her hand now(I'm thinknig she thoguht I didn't love her over that game because little things like that apparently mean a lot to a girl. I think she interpretated it as he only likes me for hooking up.) Anyway, I got rid of my plans to hangout with her (last night) and she told me not to ocme last minute and I'm kinda depressed over it. I'm going to become less available, but I think her interest level is very low even though she said I'm sorry I love you we'll hangout tomorrow. What should I do???? Link to post Share on other sites
Aimée Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 My guess is that she's passive-aggressive, she doesn't really knows what she wants and what she needs is a guy who is leading her. She probably likes you, but at the same time is a bit impatient with your hesitation and that you're too available. Could it be that you're a bit clingy? Also your user name on LS "Mikesaloserr" doesn't make me believe that you flaunt yourself around with much self-confidence. Link to post Share on other sites
Aimée Posted October 8, 2005 Share Posted October 8, 2005 That is kind of it what you said, so what should I do I don't want to hurt her but she did something to piss me off last night. She asked me to hangout and I was going to go to movies with my friends and I was like you can come and she's like your friends don't like me. I said you can come over then and she said ok. Last minute she says I don't feel like moving I'm tired come here. I called her when I was about to leave she said let's just hangout tomorrow. Basically I dicked my friends over for nothing before I went to bed she was like I love you, but I don't know what to do.. I thought about this post again. Ok, if I'm honest, I would do it with a guy I'm not really interested in, but I wouldn't tell him "I love you" before I went to bed. She seems to be quite unstable and I don't think you're the kind of guy who will be able to handle her, I actually only see pain and trouble for you in the future. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
krazysmurf6 Posted October 9, 2005 Share Posted October 9, 2005 I have a friend that I've known for going on 17 years and about 2 years ago we got inimate, but we wern't dating . that was going on for about a year and then just stoped. but we still hang out but not as much as we use to.When we do hang out shes always playfully hitting me and touching me.and she has no problems getting in my bed.and she has no problem with taking her clothes if front of me and she always laughs at my jokes even if they suck, and she always laughs when I laugh , and about three weeks ago i asked her if she would want to go out with me and she said I consider us friends. Then I found out she had just started dating someone the day before I asked her out. I need help I can't tell if she likes me or not. PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author thromback Posted October 9, 2005 Author Share Posted October 9, 2005 Yea true she called me last ngiht all mad because I wento tu and didn't call her that day I think I'm just going to find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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