88888888 Posted October 5, 2005 Share Posted October 5, 2005 I am not sure if this is the right thread but I'll post it here. I've been happily engaged since July 2005 and we've been together for over three years. I am lucky to have found a mate that I truly connect with. It has been great. We live together and we hang out a lot together. But please let me know if I am crazy or insecure but lately (past two months) I have a gut feeling that she has been talking to her ex-BF of over fours before me at her workplace. I have no evidence but her favorite phrase that she shares with her other girlfriends is "what they won't know won't hurt" and she has been saying this to me lately in a sarcastic manner. Six months ago she said this to me while we were preparing to sleep and I called her on it and I forced the issue by saying,"What are you hiding from me?" And she finally gave in and told me that her ex called her at WORK and they were talking (small talk) just to stay in touch. I asked her did she tell him about our relationship and she said no. I went ballistic because I am so much a part of her life and to intentionally leave me out is so hurtful and disrespectful. She said they are just keeping in touch and don't want to be enemies. Please remember they dated for four years and broke up four times and each time they got back together it started out with "small talk." She said to trust her. I have calmed down since then but I have never forgotten it. So lately this phrase has come up again and I tried calling her on it again. But this time she was reluctant to say anything but I felt she was about to. She just said I must have trust and if you are not hurt, then why push the issue? She also said that I take everything out of proportion and if she told me something that I would spin it. She had nothing to tell me. So I told her that if you are cheating on me and as long as I don't know then it is ok? My gut feeling is that she is talking to her ex again. Am I so crazy? or I just let it be? Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 It's hard to say. My gut feeling is that she's talking to the guy without caring about your relationship or whatever comes next. She doesn't sound like somebody who thinks very far ahead, nor is willing to settle down, with a stable long term relationship. If she doesn't want to tell you, I guess you can't really force her. But that should really be a clear sign that there's something wrong. If you can't even talk it out, at least enough for you to feel better, then what's left? I'm not sure what to advise, but these were my two cents. I wish you good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Okay, I have no idea what she might be up to. But, this whole game is ridiculous. I would NEVER say to one of even my casual friends, "I've got something juicy to tell you..." and then refuse to tell them. This is EXACTLY what she's doing to you, and you are her future husband!!! Not only is she saying that, but it's "and...you are gonna be Pissed!!!" What a ridiculous thing to do!! How does she expect you to not be upset? Ya'll need to work on your communication skills. Link to post Share on other sites
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