Severe Anxiety after Break-Up

[Questionmark12]

I possibly went through history's worse break-up ever (you can read it on my previous topics) and I still don't have the feeling I am fully healed at all.

Last Friday I went out with some colleagues, we went to a restaurant and only 5 minutes in a colleague was talking about her honeymoon. The moment she kept talking about it, seeing how happy she was, I noticed I couldn't breathe properly and started getting this tingly feeling all over my body. I couldn't even drink out of my glass because my brain just couldn't cope with it, it was really weird. Because I felt I was about to pass out, I left that situation and wished everyone a pleasant evening.

I drove myself back home and while waiting during the red light I got that same feeling again. In the end it only got worse and worse, so I pulled aside and called 911. An ambulance picked me up and the diagnosis in the ER was: panic attack with severe hyperventilation

I never had this happen to me, never ever. I got same Lorazepam to calm me that day and it really helped. I took it a few days after as well and decided I don't want to stick with calming pills to numb my emotions temporarily. So currently I am on day 3 of no addicting benzo's and just taking some homeopathic pills that are stress reducing. I had to start from 0, going alone to the supermarket being afraid of having an attack there. Going to the pharmacist, driving in my car, meeting friends,... Yesterday I went to a drag queen show, although I didn't want to as I was hyperventilating at home but a friend pushed me and I'm glad she did. The waiting until the show started was absolutely horribly, I felt the same thing when I was at the restaurant. My friend distracted me and I tried focusing on my breathing. Once the show started I felt better after, I think about an hour or so, and finally felt some relief. I couldn't fully enjoy the show but at least I survived a full 4 hour show and even got picked out of the crowd - which I really didn't want to.

I know this has to do with my ex as he has hurt my really really really bad and emotionally destroyed me completely. But I'm in good hands, I have an appointment with a psychotherapist and telling my doctor about my ex and the reason why we broke up helped as she had sympathy for me. I didn't choose to be chronically sick so it's utterly disgraceful that he used that as THE excuse why he no longer saw a future with us. It doesn't matter if he used it as an excuse for his own f***-ups, he used it nontheless, with no shame at all. And that's all that matters. I don't wan't to be with someone who is like that, a child who doesn't has the balls to admit to his own mental issues and f***-ups.

I know it will take me some time to heal fully from this, to live anxiety free and get back out there and be my bubbly extraverted self again. But it's time I need now, I was hurt badly so it's no shock my body is reacting this way. I was constantly ruminerating about him, daily, what went wrong etc. and that just kept re-opening the wound without me realizing it. Thinking about my ex still hurts I'm afraid for the future - of meeting him at the festivals we do together for example. But that's a worry for later.

I don't know why I'm posting this here, but it's nice to vent and perhaps someone that is currently dealing with anxiety after a break-up will find this useful and relatable. That's what I'm hoping at least

 

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry this is happening to you.  Those are extreme reactions & it's good that you sought medical attention 

I'm concerned that you stopped the meds without talking to your prescribing doctor & that you switched to some unregulated herbal OTC stuff without medical guidance.  Benzos are not like antibiotics   Sometimes you can't just stop.  You have to be titrated off. meaning come off gradually or you do more harm then good.  I applaud you for wanting to get off those things but please do it the right / safe way.  You weren't on them long so it may be OK but I'm begging you to check with a live doctor.  Checking WebMD or the internet doesn't count but going to a minute clinic in a local pharmacy would be OK.  

Have you considered talk therapy?  It sounds like you could benefit from a healthy outlet & learning some deep breathing techniques.  There is also the sensory thing were you pick 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell & 1 thing you can taste.  Also in the throws of a panic attack take something small like a ball or a stress relief squeezy toy (I keep one in my purse for this) but anything with do, even a chapstick, a pen or your keys in a pinch & toss the object back & forth in your hands.  Concentrating on catching & releasing the object breaks up the looping anxiousness in your head by refocusing the brain on a base level.  

[Questionmark12]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

I'm sorry this is happening to you.  Those are extreme reactions & it's good that you sought medical attention 

I'm concerned that you stopped the meds without talking to your prescribing doctor & that you switched to some unregulated herbal OTC stuff without medical guidance.  Benzos are not like antibiotics   Sometimes you can't just stop.  You have to be titrated off. meaning come off gradually or you do more harm then good.  I applaud you for wanting to get off those things but please do it the right / safe way.  You weren't on them long so it may be OK but I'm begging you to check with a live doctor.  Checking WebMD or the internet doesn't count but going to a minute clinic in a local pharmacy would be OK.  

Have you considered talk therapy?  It sounds like you could benefit from a healthy outlet & learning some deep breathing techniques.  There is also the sensory thing were you pick 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell & 1 thing you can taste.  Also in the throws of a panic attack take something small like a ball or a stress relief squeezy toy (I keep one in my purse for this) but anything with do, even a chapstick, a pen or your keys in a pinch & toss the object back & forth in your hands.  Concentrating on catching & releasing the object breaks up the looping anxiousness in your head by refocusing the brain on a base level.  

No worries, it was my GP who wanted me off of them right away as the ER doctor had given them to me. I was only on them for a few days and was only taking a very small dosis. So I am currently being followed up on and the homeopathic stuff is something that my doctor actually prescribed, it's regulated and scientifically proven it has an effect on stress reduction.

What is talk therapy? Because I have an appointment with a therapist but she specializes in trauma and anxiety. Never heard of the sensory thing, thanks will look it up for sure! The stress ball is a good one too, I was thinking of that as well to have a distraction and relief. Or maybe some chewing gum. I know that I have to talk to a therapist about my ex, the moment I explained my GP about him I bursted out in tears. Whereas when I'm alone I can't seem to be able to cry properly and let go, it's really weird.

[d0nnivain]

Talk therapy is any kind of therapy where you talk & discuss your feelings.  There are different schools.  I'm just not a big believer in better living through chemistry.  Short term pills are great but I can't wrap my head around a life time of happy pills unless there is a more severe issue.  

Anyway it's not about squeezing the stress ball -- it's the act of tossing something back & forth that breaks the cycle.  Your brain has to concentrate for you to be able to catch.  That is what calms you down.  I just use a stress toy (small foam penguin) because I had one & didn't want to carry a tennis ball around.  

[andytuotuo]

Hi there, 

You are not alone. I am currently experiencing intense panic/anxiety attacks on a daily basis and I am so exhausted from it. I have signed up for therapy and am hoping that would help. 

 

I still don't know a good method to deal with it, but deep breathe and just get out for walks really help me. 

[Questionmark12]

5 hours ago, andytuotuo said:

Hi there, 

You are not alone. I am currently experiencing intense panic/anxiety attacks on a daily basis and I am so exhausted from it. I have signed up for therapy and am hoping that would help. 

 

I still don't know a good method to deal with it, but deep breathe and just get out for walks really help me. 

It's crazy how many people are dealing with anxiety and panic attacks that I didn't even know about in my circle of friends. I had 2 attacks yesterday night when I went out for dinner with a friend, I think how loud and busy it was there or the caffeine from the tea triggered it. I took some Lorazepam when I felt the heart palpitations but it didn't help unfortunately.

For me breathing helps, especially in a big if I'm hyperventilating, but just taking deep big breats as it calms the heart down they say. I'll try talking a walk next time, thanks!

I"m exhausted too so I feel you, here's to us quickly healing from this and getting stronger out of it 💪