LillyFair Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 They seem to all be taken the ones I meet and usually have one on these things going on too. Bitter at women Has several kids, 2 ex-wifes Has no future plan and is in debt Is Boring or Unmotivated Doesn't believe in Gender Roles or have manners. Its crazy 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Plenty of good guys still available at 40.🥰 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 (edited) I was 39 when I met my husband. He was 35 at the time. He was single, straight, never been married, sane & no kids. At the time I felt like I found the last unicorn. I have a lot of education. . .graduate degree etc. When I met my husband he had not yet graduated from college. My PT job at the time was Adjunct Professor at a local college. Every professional woman I knew who I told that to told me to dump him. I didn't because I respected his work ethic. He'd been in the military right out of HS. Then he got an Associate's Degree & had worked his tail off. He had a FT job, a PT job & was going to school at night. I knew that ambition would pay off & it did. He was a little jaded. He had been doing OLD. At first he put in his real salary. Even though he is gorgeous, no women responded to him. Then he picked the highest earning category & they came out of the woodwork even ones who hadn't responded before. In his profile he listed a pretty high end restaurant as one of his favorites. He specifically said it was a special occasion place. Many women demanded to be taken there for the 1st meet / date. I could see where that would upset anybody . He was so afraid of gold diggers he was borderline rude about it & practically paranoid. When we were dating, he said he didn't buy drinks for women. I thought he was cheap -- bad tipper etc. We talked about the difference between cheap (bad) & frugal (good). I have always lived well but within my means, buying used cars, shopping on sale & traveling in shoulder seasons using points etc. Since we have been married he has become so generous. My point is you have to be patient & focus on what's important: long term not just here & now. That said when we met, based on the way he looked I assumed he was a player & I was open to that because I was looking for a good time, not a commitment. We''ve been married for almost 12 years Edited February 16, 2020 by d0nnivain 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 3 hours ago, LillyFair said: They seem to all be taken the ones I meet and usually have one on these things going on too. Bitter at women Has several kids, 2 ex-wifes Has no future plan and is in debt Is Boring or Unmotivated Doesn't believe in Gender Roles or have manners. Its crazy 😂 I think a lot of us, men and women, are a bit bitter and losing steam in their 30s. Doesn't mean you can't find a good one. I think 29, 30 and in that range is the best age for men. And it's a good barometer. If people are ever going to grow up and stop being irresponsible and childish, they will have by around 30, out of necessity. So it's a good time to see what a person's potential really is. And by then, a lot of them have sewn their "wild oats" and may be ready for something more substantial (unless they're recently divorced and still want to see what they can get post-divorce). Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 35 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I have a lot of education. . .graduate degree etc. When I met my husband he had not yet graduated from college. My PT job at the time was Adjunct Professor at a local college. Every professional woman I knew who I told that to told me to dump him. I didn't because I respected his work ethic. He'd been in the military right out of HS. Then he got an Associate's Degree & had worked his tail off. He had a FT job, a PT job & was going to school at night. I knew that ambition would pay off & it did. Ethics and drive can tell you so much about the potential of someone, no matter where they're at at the moment. And usually people with good ethics in one area are more likely to have good ethics in other areas, such as cheating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 Of course. Good guys may be in short supply, but I don't think they'll ever go out of style. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 (edited) You said one of these things so you mean you met an otherwise perfect guy who has no future plan and is in debt?! Girl, I’d jump on that one Edited February 17, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 Dating is the endless search for a needle in a haystack. But you only need to find one good one! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 YES, I know a FEW that meet your criteria and then some.....so, YES is the answer to your question Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 I think men are only getting good when they're approaching 30. you might have to get one who's been married once and married his high school sweetheart and outgrew her or she him. There's quite a few of those out there approaching 30. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) On 2/17/2020 at 7:12 AM, LillyFair said: @LillyFair Apparently the men aren't the only ones who are bitter Anyway, when you're looking for a guy, describe the guy you'll give a chance. And when you talk of gender roles, what exactly do you mean? Are you looking for a man who will support you? Edited March 2, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 Plenty. Aside from a handful of guys I went to school with, most guys around my age (late 20s) don't have kids, and aren't in debt aside from a mortgage. And they're not taken because they're still sorting out what they want from life (and have made a lot of progress with it), or not found the "right" person yet, or just want to go and see the world before settling down. That being said, there is less pressure in my social circles about settling down with a partner by a certain age, compared to others. I would also like to ask - when you mean "don't believe in gender roles", what sort of roles would you expect a partner to believe in? Link to post Share on other sites
Pleasant-Sage Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, preraph said: I think men are only getting good when they're approaching 30. you might have to get one who's been married once and married his high school sweetheart and outgrew her or she him. There's quite a few of those out there approaching 30. I have to really agree with this. I'm 34 and basically hit 1 and half of your negatives. Kids and 2 ex wives (soon to be two) and I have debt. I'll be debt free besides a mortgage in two years so it's not that bad. I completely understand your concern about kids. It's not always an issue but once they become teenagers they ruin the risk of becoming little monsters. So, I get not wanting to deal with kids. Not sure I'll want to run the risk with step kids again either myself. We will see. Back to @preraph's point that I agreed with. I got somethings wrong in my first marriage. It crafted me into the almost perfect husband (is there a such thing as perfect?) after reading books on love and relationships to find the answer to what went wrong. Oddly enough, I was 30 at the time of my first divorce. Then, I got snatched up by someone who couldn't appreciate me and took me for granted. So, it's back to the drawing board after wasting 4 years. I'm sure me talking highly of myself sounds extremely narcissistic. I'm anything but that but it doesn't matter. There will be good guys with two divorces but you'll have to weed through them. Some of those guys never self reflect to bring about the change needed. Some of those guys didn't need to change but got screwed over by selfish women. You just got to play detective and figure out what's what. I actually don't know what's more scary...someone who's had commitment issues their whole life or someone's been badly burned once or twice by a LTR. Edited March 2, 2020 by Pleasant-Sage 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 On 2/16/2020 at 12:12 PM, LillyFair said: They seem to all be taken the ones I meet and usually have one on these things going on too. Bitter at women Has several kids, 2 ex-wifes Has no future plan and is in debt Is Boring or Unmotivated Doesn't believe in Gender Roles or have manners. Its crazy 😂 you're hunting with emotion, and not logic. Were you only analyzing the data set with logic, and without being emotionally tethered to your own singular vantage point, it would be a cinch to allocate your time only to people who qualify by moderate standards. Surely one of them would then evolve to recognize all of your finer traits - that being more probable if you could first recognize them. Link to post Share on other sites
maintainsub Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 Are there any good guys still left by 30? I guess most of them are at their 50's lol Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 I'm 35 😎 Kinda boring though 😴 Link to post Share on other sites
Azincourt Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 On 2/16/2020 at 8:12 PM, LillyFair said: They seem to all be taken the ones I meet and usually have one on these things going on too. Bitter at women Has several kids, 2 ex-wifes Has no future plan and is in debt Is Boring or Unmotivated Doesn't believe in Gender Roles or have manners. Its crazy 😂 Depends on what you are looking for, and what your concept of a good man is. Speaking about myself. * I enjoy the company of women even when those women aren't intimate with me. * No kids. No ex-wife, and no crazy ex-girlfriend hanging about. * No STDS. * College graduate from one of the top 15 worldwide colleges, no college debt. * No healthcare debt/No credit card debt. * have my own house in a very nice neighbhood. * in my 30s. * life-savings. * putting money on my social security to get a pension one day. * Dunno about the boring part. I enjoy books, movies, music, video games, soccer, running, playing tennis and surfing. * Was raised by my Southern states grandparents, so I guess my social manners are decent. * I have no idea what you mean by ''believe in gender Roles'' I'm not interested in co-habitation Not interested in marriage, not interested in co-habitation. I don't want to have children. I don't want to adopt children. I don't want to raise someone else's kids. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 I was 31 and single when I met my now wife. No kids or ex-wives, masculine, a great conversationalist and fun date. My wife is the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on though and she brought the brains and personality to match. Intoxicating to say the least. I'd probably still be single or at the very least unmarried if I hadn't met her. The unicorns are still out there if you bring enough to the table to attract them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Azincourt Posted March 18, 2020 Share Posted March 18, 2020 That's really beautiful, and I'm glad it worked out for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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