glittergurl Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Here's the deal: I'm out of the country for a while, my husband went out with his buddy last night. His friend is single. The waitress was cute, my husband told his friend he should go for it; his friend didn't dare to, so my husband started talking to her, and at the end of the conversation, she gave her number to his friend. That's what he told me. I asked him today if he had found his wedding ring (because he lost it somewhere around his desk 4 months ago). He said he hadn't. It REALLY bothers me when he goes out without his ring on, especially when I'm not there. I don't know why, I feel so jealous right now. It's not even a very precise or concrete feeling, but it's there. It's probably even really stupid, since it was all about his friend being single and looking for a girl. But I keep thinking maybe I'm only getting his version of the facts, and that something could happen behind my back. Am I just a paranoid freak? Link to post Share on other sites
sugar-rae Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Couldn't he just go and buy a new wedding band? Why don't you buy him one and present it to him on your return from overseas? My advice on the paranoid thing is, just watch him upon your return. Don't throw a big fit or demand to know what's up or what's been going on. Some may not agree with me, but since my H cheated 4 yrs ago, I've realized that that was my biggest problem. When I started getting "feelings" that something was up, I would tell him about them and demand to know things. Being patient really is a good virtue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glittergurl Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 Thanks for the fast reply! I was thinking about buying him a new ring as a gift, but then I thought, well, it's not the ring we actually used for the wedding, I mean, you know, like it wouldn't be the real thing. I guess I'm just supersticious! Anyway, I guess I suck at staying calm. Link to post Share on other sites
sugar-rae Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Thanks for the fast reply! I was thinking about buying him a new ring as a gift, but then I thought, well, it's not the ring we actually used for the wedding, I mean, you know, like it wouldn't be the real thing. I guess I'm just supersticious! Anyway, I guess I suck at staying calm. You are talking to the Queen of Blow Ups! I have very little patience for much, especially wayward hubbies. Mine was but now I can see the many mistakes I made in my quest to find out the truth (about when I suspected him of cheating). Go onto a website called cheating-husbands.com you may find some helpful resources there, like clues, things to do. I went onto this site 4 yrs ago before I found out the truth. Some of the clues like cellphone bills, atm machine withdrawals, credit card bills, even car mileage, they don't always point you straight. My H never spent $ on his whore. The car mileage was always the same because her house was on the way to work. I take that back about buying her anything. He bought himself a Ski soda but gave it to her. Anyway, just keep watch but don't let him know you are that suspicious. I beg you! One quote has always stuck with me since my H's A. Only ask them if they're cheating if you want them to say NO. Keep posting, ok? Let us know how things are going. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glittergurl Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 Oh my God, I can't believe there's a whole website dedicated to cheating husbands!! I'll definitely check it out lol I know this is a serious topic, but you wrote about it with so much humor, you got me laughing here Well, I'll definitely listen to your advice, and will force myself to stop pushing things. I should really know better. Every time I feel bad or suspicious, it's like I want him to read my mind and comfort me. Except uhmm he can't read my mind and gets annoyed instead ... Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
jason4233 Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 so is there a website for cheating wifes? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 He will not be more faithful to you because of a stupid ring. Of course, the fact that he is being negligent about it hurts, but this is another issue. There are women who will have sex with married men also, plus he can always take it off when he goes out. You don't want women to say "no" to him because he has a ring; you want HIM to not think of other women because he is faithful to you, right? I think it's because of the distance that you feel this way. I feel the same sometimes due to the distance between me and my BF and I've never been jealous before. It's not fear that he will be with someone else, I trust him completely, I just don't feel comfortable when he is close to other women and far away from me. But I am dealing with it because I know he loves me and I fully trust him. If your husband is not a cheater then just trust him and remind him that any kind of involvement with another woman would mean the end of your marriage. Then let him choose what he wants. You can't control him. He has to control himself. Link to post Share on other sites
NYer Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 My bfs ex is this lingering issue. She showed up to ruin our first date by going psycho and he claimed then she was out of his life. She was calling 2x per week then. Now 3 months later and she stopped calling...I think. Then last week I see he missed a call from her. Again 2 days later. Then he returned her call the following day. He told me nothing of this, except for the 2nd call b/c I was there and asked who was on the phone. I asked again today if he returned the call and he claimed today he did...meanwhile it was yesterday. Why is he bothering to hide and lie if there's nothing going on? Link to post Share on other sites
sugar-rae Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 so is there a website for cheating wifes? I think you could probably use the same site for women too. Men can be crafty about cheating, but women tend to think more with her head, with everything. We are a real crafty bunch. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
sugar-rae Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 He will not be more faithful to you because of a stupid ring. Of course, the fact that he is being negligent about it hurts, but this is another issue. There are women who will have sex with married men also, plus he can always take it off when he goes out. You don't want women to say "no" to him because he has a ring; you want HIM to not think of other women because he is faithful to you, right? { This is true. My H's ring was on and in plain sight the first time he talked with his ex-whore and on everytime he went to her house. Cheaters/potential cheaters don't worry about that stuff, well,most anyway; some might. If your husband is not a cheater then just trust him and remind him that any kind of involvement with another woman would mean the end of your marriage. Then let him choose what he wants. You can't control him. He has to control himself. If he really loves you, he'll know when you tell him this what it will do if he did that to you. If he truly loves you, he'll NOT do it. My H didn't love me back then like he said he did. I can look back on the times and know now. He does act different now and I can tell he cares now. But, then, look what I had to go through for HIM to realize he had someone who loved him truly. He preferred someone who wanted to be with him not his bank account.[b/] Link to post Share on other sites
sugar-rae Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Oh my God, I can't believe there's a whole website dedicated to cheating husbands!! I'll definitely check it out lol I know this is a serious topic, but you wrote about it with so much humor, you got me laughing here Well, I'll definitely listen to your advice, and will force myself to stop pushing things. I should really know better. Every time I feel bad or suspicious, it's like I want him to read my mind and comfort me. Except uhmm he can't read my mind and gets annoyed instead ... Thanks again Just caught where you are from under your avatar! Is it one of those What's eating Gilbert Grape kinda towns? Mine, too! But, alas, no Johnny Depps or Leonardo Decaprio's here. Just a note to cheer you up! Link to post Share on other sites
lilmoma1973 Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 I have to agree with RP a ring won't matter !!! Most men don't care all they have to do is take it off and put it in their pocket and put it on after they done their single life for the night!!!! I guess it just really depends on the individual whether or not they are capable of cheating.... Good Luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author glittergurl Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 Just caught where you are from under your avatar! Is it one of those What's eating Gilbert Grape kinda towns? Mine, too! But, alas, no Johnny Depps or Leonardo Decaprio's here. Just a note to cheer you up! Hahah yup, same kind of town! Well, I actually mentioned it to him a couple of days ago, and we talked about it for over an hour. As I said before, I totally trust him, he would never cheat. I guess RP is right, the distance is causing some insecurities on my side. Ah well, I'm glad we talked about it; it turns out he got mad every time I mentioned it because the thought of having lost it upsets him more than I imagined, and he said it brought up feelings of guilt; which I guess I understand. He says he's still looking for it, but I think it's pretty hopeless by now. Oh well, if he doesn't find it soon, guess we'll have to buy a new one! Link to post Share on other sites
sugar-rae Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 Hahah yup, same kind of town! Well, I actually mentioned it to him a couple of days ago, and we talked about it for over an hour. As I said before, I totally trust him, he would never cheat. I guess RP is right, the distance is causing some insecurities on my side. Ah well, I'm glad we talked about it; it turns out he got mad every time I mentioned it because the thought of having lost it upsets him more than I imagined, and he said it brought up feelings of guilt; which I guess I understand. He says he's still looking for it, but I think it's pretty hopeless by now. Oh well, if he doesn't find it soon, guess we'll have to buy a new one! That's good! A good way to solve an easy problem, then. And since Christmas is coming up soon.... Link to post Share on other sites
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