lyfeofafreespirit Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 (edited) Hey everyone, thanks for reading in advance. Any advice from a different perspective would be helpful. My sister is 26 (just for a little background) and a nurse. About a year ago she was supposed to be moving back in with my mom in order to save some money and pay off a little debt she had. She has had a history of bad relationships, multiple men have been married and one was actually in a gang. So the guys she brings around have never been ideal and I can’t think of a long term relationship where she wasn’t the other woman or a ton of drama. We went on a family trip and when we got back my sis was supposed to move into my moms house. All the stuff from her apt was already in her room and the rest was in storage. I live out of the state and get a call from my mom that she was worried about my sis b/c she went on a date 3 days before and never came home or answered any calls/texts. So I was so worried immediately about her to the point where my mom and I almost called the police. When she finally responded she was furious that we were worried. After that she maybe came back by the house to grab a few pieces of clothes and did not return. She said she was just hanging out but we quickly realized that she moved in with this guy. She introduced my family to him and they said he seemed nice but quickly after that (5 months of dating) she got engaged. The ring just seemed nothing like her at all and when I finally met him I felt like she had changed her entire personality to fit him. She went from hating weed to smoking weed throughout the day with him, cancelling work/calling out sick to sit around with him at his mechanic shop, and put the back burner on her own life. She now says she hates her job as well and she used to love it. At the end of January not even a month ago our stepdad passed away and it has been really rough. I get a call a few days ago that they decided to set a wedding date at city hall in a month. Not only are we grieving but I can’t help but feel like this whole thing with her has been so rushed and almost panicky (?) like what is the big rush? My sis also told us he had his own home but when my mom visited after my sis had a car accident, she found out my sis and her fiancé are living in his parents house. He said it’s his home and his parents just live there... but it is an old home filled with antiques and pictures of the kids on the walls... I can’t help but feel like they’re lying. am I wrong for questioning her decisions? I will be there for her and support her as my sister no matter what but I can’t help but feel like there are red flags in this whole situation. Edited February 17, 2020 by lyfeofafreespirit Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 There are huge red flags but that seems to be the pattern of your sister's life -- one bad decision after another. You can't change her. With the weed use & her soon to be unemployment, I would recommend that mom change the locks on her house so sis & her FI can't steal from mom to support their habit. Unfortunately if you say anything you will be the bad guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lyfeofafreespirit Posted February 17, 2020 Author Share Posted February 17, 2020 (edited) Thanks for your response I agree that there is definitely a pattern there... he has a business that seems to be doing okay so I don’t think they’re going to be stealing anything... I’m just wondering if anyone has insight or has seen rushed marriages from online dating before. Like I want to say 2-3 months into them dating she was asking me over and over when I was going to get engaged to the point that I thought it was strange. I think she kept asking because they had been talking about it. She’s getting married so quickly and doesn’t even want to plan a nice wedding which would have totally been her style. She had a party or celebration for every milestone in her nursing licensure and I find it hard to believe now she wants something so quickly and rushed. She’s also gained a significant amount of weight in the last year and is very private/secretive. Edited February 17, 2020 by lyfeofafreespirit Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 How old is your sister? I don't see a problem with her not having a wedding and saving that money. Maybe with the weight gain she isn't keen on a white dress. I have known people who met in person and within 6 months married and are still married. From what you've described of your sister this seems to be her pattern and if I were you I'd just support her the best way I could. She's grown. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts